| Show I what thinks about The State of the World SANTA ANTA MONICA CALIF Up Up in Montreal a veteran veter veter- an showman says he talks with chim chimpanzees in their own language I wish hed he'd ask one of his chimpanzee pals what he thinks about the present setup of civilization Because I cant can't find any humans who agree as to where we all are aro going and what the i chances are re of getting getting get get- S Sting yA ting there In fact f the only two who appear appear appear ap ap- ap- ap pear to be certain x about it are arc young Mr Corcoran and y young oung Mr Cohen a and they seem to i t hesitate at times times- Y r t not much but just a teeny b bit bit bit- i t- t which is disconcertIng disconcert disconcert- Jet Ing to the lay mind Irvin s S. S CoM Cobb i We are arc likely to lose confidence even in a comet once it starts wobbling on us Irm i Im I'm also upset by a statement from England's greatest star-gazer star they they call him the astronomer royal royal roy roy- royal al which by coupling it with the royal family naturally gives astronomy astronomy astron astron- omy a great social boost in England and admits it to the best circles He says the moon Is clear off oft Its mathematically prescribed course j Cash Versus I. I 0 O. UsO Us I ONLY O NL Y a afew few weeks weel s ago the front pages were carrying dispatches dispatches dispatches dis dis- patches saying the adjustment of Great Britain's defaulted debt was just lust around the corner Economists and financiers had discussed terms of settlement Figures were vere quoted mainly figures calling fo for big reductions reductions reductions re re- re- re on our part but never mind that They were figures anyhow Lately the papers have been been- strangely silent on the subject Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps Per Per- haps you remember the old story told on the late John Sharp Willi Williams Wil ViI li liams who frequented a game at Washington where sportive statesmen statesmen statesmen states states- men played poker for heavy stakes mostly with those quaint little fictional fictional fictional fic fic- products called I I. I O. O Us U.'s as mediums of exchange Early one morning a fellow senator senator senator sena sena- tor met the famous Mississippian coming from an night all session I 1 certainly mopped up he pro pro- claimed I won and and what's more of it was in cash Autumn Millinery rUST r r- JUST as the poor bewildered males are becoming reconciled to the prevalent styles in women's hats up bobs a style creator In New NewYork NewYork NewYork York warning us that what weve we've thus far endured is merely a foretaste foretaste fore fore- taste of what's coming In other words we aint seen For autumn he predicts a quaint number with a slanted peak fifteen inches high which I take it will make the thc wearer look like a refugee trying to escape from under under under un un- un- un der a coll collapsing pagoda Another is a turban entirely composed composed composed com com- posed of rooster feathers A ma matching coa coat t of rooster fea feathers feath feathers th ers goes gocs with this design But in the theold theold theold old days they used hot tar A third model features for its top- top hamper a series of brushes sticking straight up Naturally Naturally Naturally Nat Nat- the hat itself will imitate a barrel of whitewash But the gem of all is a dainty globular structure of Sc Scotch plaid Can you imagine anything more becoming becoming becoming be be- coming to your lady wife than an effect suggesting th that t she's balancing balancing balancing balanc balanc- ing a water hot-water bag on her brow THE HE lieutenant-governor lieutenant of Ohio urges a return to McGuffey Ism for settling m modern modem dern problems in a McGuffey reader that I met those prize wits half of literature lit lit- the the Spartan boy who let the fox gnaw his vitals the chuckle- chuckle headed youth who stood on the burning burning burning burn burn- ing deck the congenial Idiot who climbed an nn alp in midwinter while wearing nothing but a n night shirt and carrying a banner labeled Excelsior Excelsior Excelsior Ex in order to freeze to death the skipper who when the ship was sinking undertook to calm the passengers passengers passengers pas pas- by but by-but but wait wart read the immortal immortal immortal im im- mortal lines We are lost the captain shouted As he staggered down the stair And then the champion of all the all the Dutch lad who discovered a leak leakin leakin leakin in the dyke so he stuck his wrist in inthe inthe inthe the crevice and all night stayed there In the morning when an ane e early riser came along and asked what wha was the Ule general idea the heroic urchin said said but but let me quote the exact language of the book from I am hindering the sea running in was the Ule simple reply of ot ofHie otHie Hie the child Simple Ill I'll tell the world Nothing could be simpler except an authority on hydraulics who figures that hat when the Atlantic ocean starts i 1 boring through a crack in a n mud 1 wall vail wall you can hold It back by using one me small Dutch boys boy's arm for a stopper j IRVIN S. S COBB conn Q e Western Newspaper Union |
