Show r iJ k e r oLL aba about t Honoring Amos n Andy ANTA MONICA CALIF SANTA Because Amos n Andy paid a mythical visit visit- to this community the grateful populace populace lace will dedicate a bronze tablet tablet tab tab- let in Palisades park which is not only a beautiful park but is regarded by some enthusiastic citizens as being practically the main entrance to the Pacific ocean That's California pride for you you you- the kind that inspires us to pass resolutions endorsing endorsing endors endors- ing the sunsets Well I dont don't believe be be- g lieve theres there's a small U r city in this country that has finer sun sunsets i. i 1 sets than Santa sr Monica And when better ones are available for towns of this size Santa Monica will have n r t them Our boosters boosters' clubs will attend to Irvin Cobb that What Im I'm getting at though is that any fellows who've given as much joy to the world as Amos nAndy n nAndy Andy deserve a whole set of plaques If they dont don't wear out outthinking thinking up their stuff until I 1 get tired of hearing it they'll go on forever Hello Kingfish Vocal Contortionists X THY must tenors make such VV V V funny tunny faces when they sing And why must a lady vocalist clutch both hands to her tum turn turn-turn tum when she reaches after a high note as though shed she'd just felt the first pangs of cholera And why must there ever be any professional pianist pianist pianist pian pian- who also is a professional dandruff dandruff dandruff dan dan- druff fancier and looks as though he should be gone over with one of these sand blasting machines that they use to clean off oft office build build- ings Just ordinary SO soap and Ind water wouldn't do And oh why does a basso insist insist insist in in- on singing at great length of the joys of life at the bottom of a coal mine min and for an encore ro- ro hock me in the cra cra hadle hadle of the da- da heep until Im I'm as seasick as a cow Hasn't anybody since Rutherford B. B Hayes was President thought up anew a anew anew new song for bassos And isn't anybody anybody anybody any any- body going to do so before the sands of the desert grow cold It looks like years and ye years to wait Frances France's Diplomatic Game l X THILE ILE France was asking us to V VV V Inter into a neutrality pact as regards Spain it would appear she even then was extending very material sympathies to the loyalist loyalist loyalist loy loy- alist side Anyhow Italy thinks so and Germany too And now Portugal Portugal Portugal gal sprouts unrest and Great Britain Britain Britain Brit Brit- ain issues threats Since we already were neutral neutral- and if we h have any sense will keep on being as neutral as a stop stop- stop and go signal signal America America didn't need to enter any pacts And if we continue minding our own business well we'll have neither a sick headache nor a afresh afresh fresh batch of foreign loans when the present mess is over The Thc point is that France seemingly seemingly seemingly seem seem- has been c caught pl playing a double diplomatic game Wholesale Mercy l X 0 killed Cock Robin Who V VV V cares Dead isn't he His widow wido and orphans c can ln go on relief cant can't they But how about pretty I Boy Sparrow Theres There's the one to toI I think about about so so young and so gifted I and ambitious The Thc Women's Aid Society for the Freeing of Criminals How Criminals How soon can we get that poor lad out into the sunshine once more He He takes aim so much better in the sun sun- shine Must we wait until he breakout breaks break out out The state parole Not board bO board Not Not at atall atall atall all ladies not at all Just be patient patient patient pa pa- tient a little while then le leave it to us Gov M Mushy shy J. J But Sapp-But S Sapp But why w wait lit When I think of that bleak Alcatraz and that hearted hard Uncle Uncle Uncle Un Un- cle Sam Im I'm proud to have bave some wholesome sentiment in inn my soul sout Pass me that pardon blank Prett Pretty Boy Sparrow Well Sparrow Well happy days are re here again S Say I never did like that canary much either Wheres Where's my tommy gun The Wisdom of Frogs A. A A LADY na naturalist at the tile Smithsonian Smith Smith- 1 3 son n in Washington has hris been experimenting and she says th that frogs not c only ly listen to political speeches on n the thc radio but by their croaks at at the finish indicate a deep appreciation clation of same This helps to confirm an opinion Ive I've had all nIl along that the only end of a frog which should command my entire approval is the end the legs grow on on- on especially sp when fried in cracker crack crack- er crumbs On second thought though maybe maybe may may- be the frog has more brains than Im I'm giving him credit for When you applaud at the end of a broadcast broad cast theres there's no chance for tor an nn en cn core s. s COBB conn t C e Service Benlee |