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Show Is for S Seek Solution for j, 'tll S Mystery of Age-Ol- d tiIUs;. Bell Canyons in the Sea S'J.r, Gay, Colorful Applique for Tea Towels; Youll Find It Easy and Amusing to Do FABLES IN SLANG By GEORGE ADE Syndicate WNU Sarrlea Ul pieces; material requirements; Illustrations of all stitches needed; color suggestions. Send 15 cents In coins or stamps (coins preferred) to The Sewing Circle, Household Arts Department, 250 West Fourteenth Street, New York, fe; fled FA ID something that hit the - sl- udess Burglars C Detected by PVp ;ej at c the jj . - i .N'o p- n speaker 15, p n'ea,. Sue 35 lerh ice . As Is rw Patte-- Makes Sound lfjre He j The i iSHlNGTON. A simpli- alarm that hears" he makes a C burglar before even before off U and goes his to fc n get L forms 'the subject matter m W 53 Alarm Intruder Hears 15 United States a million years ago slow down the whole spinning earth? Were the hypothetical meteorites that made the bays of the Carolinas responsible indirectly for the many . illar 'CISCO, 'C Sen ilthr U.. safe-cracki- TLevi Mdv recently granted fV patent I New t0 Jersey Inventor. that sensitive is this alarm posl-f- , the burglar change the the the tiniest object within room, a warning gong rings to the scene. police dash C U loudspeaker op- electric circuit by a special fcas the ear of this ingenious t conventional C t I N. Y. The Mind Meter o recently discovered tremendous canyons in the bottom of the sea? These questions are raised by the suggestion put forth by two Princeton geologists, Drs. II. II. Iless and Paul MacClintock, that the ocean level was lowered because of a sudden slowing down In the earths rotation, thereby exposing to river erosion what had been, and is now, sea bottom, and in turn permitting the canyons to be cut a sort of geological House That Jack Built PATTERN 5533 higher latitudes, proportional to the lessening of this centrifugal effect Doctors Hess and MacClintock offer the Idea, on a quite candidly speculative basis, that some small astronomical body, like an asteroid, hit the earth about a million years is ago, and slowed It down enough to (rP Caiiy operated bridge. permit the rest of the train of h ,ianced electrical to events to happen. Hn setting the alarm system is Effect of Collision. ijpard the vault this bridge ed or balanced so that no cur-j- t Such a projectile would have to can flow from the loudspeaker be so massive that the great Sito the gong-- p pi t over the bridge berian meteorite of a few years ago, lng circuit whose effects even In the wilderthis condition the loudspeaker ness were devastating, would seem produces constant vibra- a mere pebble by comparison. For te within the vault or room In- the Siberian crasher had no more and the gongs are silent gross effect on the earth as a whole tor Device la Sensitive. than a tennis ball hitting a battlelet some one open the vault ship. door, step Into the Interior, Ancient scars of what may have hole in one of the been a meteor fall of the required f a tiny or as much as change the order of magnitude exist in the In the room, n of an object bays of the Carolina coastal plain. the nature of the air vibrations e mediately disturbed. Such breaks down the balanced ; of the bridge, and starts the circuit where It is detected, $ led and sped to a relay which rb the gongs. !be Imentor claims alarm Is much that his pro-fiv- e Bottle Bred Babies Still Distant From Human Realization y protec-Ireqnir- plck-luic- Are More Insanity jtan sperm cells. These unfathered rabbit eggs were induced to start the normal processes of division and differentia- Married Men SEW YORK. Bachelors are times as likely to go 1 tion by treating them with salt so- lutions more concentrated than normal blood, and also by heating as are married d men, them to a temperature of 45 demen are even more likely grees Centigrade, which is about 113 f develop mental disease, Drs. degrees on the commonly used Fahrh Page and Carney Landis of renheit scale. Tork When tills treatment was first apPsychiatric Institute re-- f ti In a report recently to the plied to the unfertilized eggs of H 'g of the New Tork branch of such creatures as sea urchins and Al)er'can Psychological associa- - frogs by Dr. Jacques Loeb, about n a generation ago, the resulting is riot a vaccine against "pnrthenogenetic, or virgin-borthey warned. Rut organisms were the center of a pi disease, as a men who are whirl of popular Interest comparsieve; p3 need treatment for mental able only with that aroused by the pto ppd arewivesnot the ones who read-- f advent of the Dionne quintuplets. and willingly enter Idea Is carriage. If they do get marTincus frowns upon Doctor But 's they are more likely to be d d any tendency to rend Into hts exout by divorce. periments and their results the Spinster Found Same. dreams of such Imaginative sci,f are the figures pre-- e entists as J. B. S. Haldane, who striking t the meeting by Doctor predicted that some day babies s Por every one married man would be produced in bottles of suitcd to mental hospitals during able nutrient fluids outside the huplod studied, two widowers man mothers' bodies. In a commuu''tfeih three single men, and nication to Science Service he "te in-5- Di-ree- , n j disc' lied 'I Su T had tatf 4 5 r Butd jiltlr lifi W j divorced men. Wonipn, the figures are much ne married woman to women. three divorced and about 14 widowed. PenP'u under twenty five 0u wore not considered in Lne o,dcs ufldr figures. a. ,ftrs Can Produce TT Ly Suggestion LLART.lf states: eggs subjected to the described treatment have behaved as though fertilized, and to date lmve followed development to early blastocyst stages, both In vitro and In vivo upon transplantation into recipient females after treatment. A more extensive statement Is not "Rabbit Lying Down Spectacles Aid Reading in Bed you tell a n that he has a fever, you Recumbent LONDON. 'S' actually give him a higher glasses for invaspectacles JPrature, who have to others and lids 0f Sll'd''4tlm in rais-- . flat on their less or more lie niperature and 11 trrn Inereaslng I,r,'is'ire and pulse rate hacks and who wish to road were to scientists at the shown for the public for the first I, ibe Southern Soel-D- - time at this year's BriiMi IndusI l,Il,s"Illy and Psychology tries Fair. Those spectacles enable Walsh of the the Wearer to see more or levs at pJ ofKershaw South Carolina, right angles to the ordinary line i, nilt of sight; they contain a pair of necessary to liypnoile t 0 causp tills body change prisms, which project Incoming 't on; liypnotlod of light in smh a way that t lie mibjwts rays r frnm normal sub- - wearer can read a book, held comf in ,, le nniount of temperature fortably at arms length, resting on the waist , ' bia, . O and Phrases The Affair With the Greek Gods. THE CROSS WORD FOR EVERY HOUR be considerate. I would rather cut off my Right Hand than rudely Ine which terrupt a male does not concern me. I can, if necessary, do my ordering by Mall. It would have meant just as much to the Listener If Mr. Cumback had recited the Greek Alphabet. He didnt mind, even if his Satire was too subtle for the Victim. Usually ho would continue, looking straight into the baby-blu- e eyes of the Salesman: "I take it that you cherish a Hope to own this Place some day. You certainly have my Best Tete-a-Tet- ONCE there was a man named Cumback who that he had a Patent Eight on Physical Pain, Nervous Tension and all other forms of Agony. Up to the time that he began to feel Rocky there never had been any genuine Suffering on the part of any Member of the Human Family. Whenever he was Fuming low and the whole Universe was heavily festooned with Crape and the only Flowers blooming were the Lilies s nsed at Funerals, and no and Birds sang except the Hoot-Ow- l It was then that the Mr. Cumback found his only Relief In cussing audibly and making dreadfully sarcastic Remarks to the Imbeciles who were deliberately Intent upon driving him to the Foolish deep-seate- d Wishes. CHUMMY PATTER WITH THE SALESMAN first-clas- Whip-Poor-Wi- House. simpler than systems used In CAMBRIDGE, MASS. V which for complete e Babies born in a bottle (or prospecially designed locks ectogenetically, to use I'witches In the doors to con-j- l duced some alarm device, word) as well as a more learned-soundin- g are still very far from human realfra system networks embedded tie vault walls ization, Dr. Gregory Plncus of Harand sound In the safes to detect vard university emphasizes. Doctor Plncus Is the young biologist who r; and tapping noises. has created something of a stir even outside biological circles by startachelors ing the development of rabbit ova, or eggs, In glass dishes without the of the male element or intervention jWe to present-da- The Similarities Test The only Joy that he could extract from a drab Existence was that of toasting, panning, bawling out and harpooning those who got his Goat and stuck pins Into his Inmost Soul. The average American Is and doesn't at all object to being kicked thirty or forty Times In the Same Place, but not so with Mr. Cumback. In a way he was a Reformer, ne believed that many of the Abuses which have grown up In this Paradise known as the U. S. A. could be blamed upon the spineless and unresisting Common People who were, as you might say, hollow long-sufferi- below the Ribs. Mr. Cumback probably understood that he could not right all the Wrongs while he had no Assists from the other Players, but he had the glorious Satisfaction of knowing that he put up a Battle when anyone tried to sew Buttons on him. lie probably couldnt make Men and Women out of Whippets and Snoofs but he got his only pleasant Thrills out of giving them the Medicine they needed, viz., the old and brutal Truth. TWO PROMINENT CLUBMEN AT WORK For Instance, he was the only Person who had the sublime Courage to hop onto the Greek God with the Square Shoulders and gummy Hair who has consented to act as salesman in a Haberdashery, n pending his Marriage to some Heiress. This was meat for Mr. Cumback. He had observed that when a would lie Customer walks into a Gents Furnishing Establishment to Pajama himself or lay In a new flock of Studs, usually he Is compelled to wait until the two prominent Clubmen behind get through discussthe Show-Cas- e ing some urgent Scandal which Is agitating their Set Mr. Cumback had vowed that they would neer stand him up, like an old Umbrella, without getting a few Keepsakes in return. lie never Interrupted Cuthbcrt and Llewellyn while they were at It, but after they had concluded, and one of them came to Mr. Cumback and asked, as he lifted the Eyebrow, "Yes, what is It?" that was when the molten Lava began to flow. Before Introducing any sordid Business Topics Into a Morning which seems more or less devoted to Social Intercourse, I should like to ask a Question, if I am not presuming, lie would siy. "May I ask the Question? "Certainly," the Salesman would reply, wondering what new kind of Cuckoo had come In from the Street to avoid the Crowds. I should like to know If, when you are discussing your Irhnte Af fairs will) some oilier Mm about Town, It annojs yon or distuths your Temia'rament to hne some Outsider come in and want to buy Gonds? Tou see, Geoffrey, I want to honest-to-goodne- well-know- Make sandw iches for the childrens lunch box by shaving maple sugar, v mixing with butter and spreading een two slices of w holewlmat bread. be-tv- Two thicknesses of heavy brown paper are much better than a cloth to use when pressing. Sprinkle paper with water and Iron until dry. Newspapers may he used Instead of brown pnper. Steamboat, John Fitch; motion-pictur- e machine, . 4. Inning, bnseball ; chueker, 5. Sahara Gobi Desert, Asia; Melted butter Is a good substitute . Desert, olive oil In salad dressing. for 0. Henry Morgenthau, Treasury; Ad captandura vulgus. (L.) To A. . Wallace, Henry catch the crowd. Yellow cream cheese spread on but7. Treasure Island, Robert Louis modThe Anno urbls condltae (A. U. C.) Stevenson; Lady of the tered wafers and browned In a accoma oven makes erate very good . Lake." (L.) In (such or such a) year (reck. 8. Mayor, city; Governor, paniment, to serve with appetizers, oned) from the founding of the city A1 Simmons, baseball; soups or salads. 0. Tommy (L e., Rome). . Armour, Bete noire. (F.) Black beast; ob 10. United Hot peach juice to which a few States, Washington, D. Ject of abhorrence. C. ; India, . drops of lemon Juice has been added makes a quickly prepared sauce to Cest a dire. (F.) That Is to say serve with cottage pudding. Answers Dleu et mon droit. (F.) God and 1. France. my right. To slip rose bushes bend brandies 2. South Carolina. Eureka, (Gr.) I have found It (exdown, make a deep cut Into branch 3. Thomas A. Edison. clamation attributed to Archimedes) and cover wounded portion with soIL 4. Folo. Keep branch down with a large stona An 5. accom Africa. Fait accompli. (F.) 0. Agriculture. pllshed fact; a thing already done. If a pan of salt Is placed under the 7. Sir Walter Scott. Infra dignitatem. (L.) Beneath shelf on which cake Is baked ths 8. State. ones dignity. cake will not burn. S. Golf. Lex tallonls. (L.) Law of retalia10. Delhi. When making small buns or cakes, tion. flour the tins well- Instead of greasing Ma chere. (F.) My dear (fem Up and Down them. Tills plan Is much less expenInlne). Both men and women take up the sive nnd the cakes never stick to ths Nil desperandum. (L.) Nothing to law nowadays, but Its mostly the tin. women who lay It down. WNU Service. Bell Syndicate. be despaired of; never despair. Foreign Words gong-syste- dis-nc- WNU fitervlc. 3. sl-a- ir i By LOWELL HENDERSON In each problem of the following test there are three words. The first two bear a certain relationship to each other. Write In a fourth word which will bear the same relationship to the third word that the second does to the first. 1. Franklin D.' Roosevelt, United . States ; Albert Lebrun, 2. Albany New York, Colum- g How Alarm i Sudlcat$ BiHl Youll find It the grandest sort of play this embroidering of tea towels with gay applique, whether theyre for your own spotless kitchen, or anfor your others. Comb the scrap-bachoicest cotton scraps, as this poke bonnet miss demands a bright dress and bonnet every day In the week. If you prefer do her entirely In outline stitch. Its an ensy and effective way of doing these amusing motifs. In pattern 5522 you will find a transfer pattern of seven motifs (one Ocean Level Varies. The level of the ocean Is higher at the equator and lower at the poles, It should be explained, because of the centrifugal effect of the earths rotation, If the earth stopped, on even slowed down, there would be lower sea levels In lower latitudes, higher sea levels In the Works. !V vibrating diaphragm of the Leaker sets up sustained, vibrations within the in-- ? of the vault an ft necting the loudspeaker to fj who knew well what de Were, pression and melancholy hut met them by hard work The more Intensely we throw ourselves Into each days labors, the more we escape from discourage meat and temptation. Work is the sheet anchor of the soul, and the higher work becomes, the Work higher Its satisfaction. even for ourselves helps us out of depression ; work for others brings Joys; work for God lifts us Into the most enduring happiness of all. Carlyle, for each day of the week) averaging by 7 Inches and applique pattern Collision of Earth With Asteroid Is Held Cause :wPt, declared perpetual despair, ruling j. ' of re. eMe '1 blot' In Idleness - ne would then make his Selections and depart, trusting that sometime during the Afternoon, It might soak In on the Party of the Second Part that he had been grossly In- sulted. So long as Murder was prohibited by Statute, Mr. Cumback had to adopt gentler 'Methods wdth the other Type of Salesman who said Im wearing one myself. The beaming Employee who exhibited a new style of Collar on his own Person, demonstrating, as it were, to prove that it had Class, aroused In Our Hero a kind of Rabies. Ah, let me put on my Smoked Glasses and look at you, would be his ejaculation. I have seen Niagara Falls, the Sunset Glow on the Jungfrau and the Grand Canyon, but never before have I been so I am not good enough to wear such a Collar. Among his Chronic Ailments were Treasuritus, Forterene and Waiter-phobiThe boy ifi the We have nothing would begin and then Alfred would Interrupt and take the Words out of his mouth, saying: I get you. You have nothing ahead of the ISth Row. Did you ever figure that you could save a lot of Wear and Tear on your Vocal Cords by Installing a Phonograph here In the Lobby and have It repeat over and over Nothing ahead of the 18th EowP You have and I am a Hit In your Show-Shoonly a poor Goof who wants to buy a Pair at the advertised Prices, so that makes me Just as welcome as Neuralgia. ENTHUSIASTIC PALL. BEARERS The foregoing is a specimen of Rough Stuff as distinguished from Polite Satire but Mr. Cumback discovered Years ago, that to jar a Ticket-Seile- r one must use a Blunt Instrument. Very often in bestowing a Tip at a Restaurant, Mr. Cumback would say to the graptng Menial: I hand you this money, not because you lmve rendered intelligent Service, but so that you may be enabled to purchase at some Book Store a Volume entitled IIovv to wait on tiie Table. He puzzled many a Pullman Porter who came, Whhk Broom In Hand, by asking, Have we met before? A dirty Dig like this always sounded impromptu, but ns n Matter of Knot, he had thought It out long before hand and nursed it until the WHEW MADE IT I Time came. The Chambermaids could have written a hook about Alfred Not that he ever called them Names. He simply asked questions He was trjing as an amateur Psychologist, to discover the Mental Prnces-.ewhich induced ttiem to remove Everything from ills Writln Talde and make the Ratio between Bath Tuvveis and Hand Towels four to one. Alfred passed on not long ago. He was carried to tils last Resting Place by six hired Pall Bearers, recruited from the Deaf nnd Dumb A' him. MORAL: If ynu dont mind being a Su'lal Outcast, always stand up for your Rights. Cum-bac- s COT FIVE MINUTES BEFORE TME NEW y' YORK . PLANE LEAVES v GET HER ROLLIN' MAKE TONY. ANO A IT FAST i , ft J I'LL FEEL BETTER 1 1 t THEY TAKE OFF. A MILLION DOLLARS CASH P"" I IN THAT PLANE n j J J 1 1. . , I. ... .. Jf'' v S -i I -- - k. JA ffr WHEN THERES i "jTj Aw Box-Ollic- e p NO. MR. OEAN, YOU VE RECKON I JUST ABOUT I f V v v. ' ie HAVE THAT YG rV - if- V CANADA IN FORE THEY CAN YELL FOR HELP I j . ? i'ts - Cj " . " "'r. 7 - r H f . o-- , . V. . 'f1 THEY VE ''-- THE GOT PLANg! MONEY x- - fi ANO THE LOOK OUT! THEYRE HEADED THIS WAY I TOO 'Al.j J M J 4 - I 7 ' xa saved A MILLION DOLLARS A rr kijf WHAT A THROW I I IT J S w- - I v I WISH MY KID BROTHER HAD SOME OF YOUR ENERGY. HES LISTLESSLIKE . IM WORRIED ABOUT HIM NO AIR PILOT EVER THOUGHT 'FASTER THAN YOU j pj J WELL, MISS, YOU COT TO THINK FAST IN BASE 8 ALL WELL, ONE WAV TO GET ENERGY IS TO EAT MORE NOURISH- -. LIKE INC. FOOD h TOO, ANO THAT MCANS YOU J YOU HAVE TO HAVE TO OF ENERGY DRAGGED THAT 6A.L, PLENTY AND THREW IT J KEEP YOU WIDE-AWA- !d!D . fei 1 WHEN jcat-.:E:-.c- -- sair.igi 4 1 GRAPE-NUT- I KNOW FAT IT MYSELF u BOYS! GSHLS! Join Dizzy Dean Winners! Get Valuable Frizes FREE! xO Pirry Dean MrmlietsKp Pin. New lo'IS blue Grape Nuts Send top from one rerre uuh 6m dcM.n, j Buttle A red leilennsr. Free fur Crie Nuts package, with name and address, to Xt ' patkenetop. Creek, Mich., for membership pin, certificate and catalog e full-siz- e yellow-an- two-ten- Grape-Nut- I 1 I ( of 49 free prizes. You'll like crirp, delicious Grape Nuts it lias a winning flavor all its own. Economical to serve, too, for two table pooiifuls, wlh whole milk or cream and fruit, provide more varied nourishment than many a hearty me al. (Offer expiiesDcc.31,1936. Good only in U. S. A.) A Port Cereal Made by General Foods The same fine Cereal, ie a new package " J' 7 Iticfcy Rahhit9 Font. J ist It! h9 pi M1 tctl Jjizy ndtun tea Frre lur 2 Lirue-- t rmtf, rip m e t 3e Nuli r ; S Dirzv Dean, Co Chap Nutt, B it tte CictV, M h. C r I rn Ine Null pauk-t- e V i s tor which 4 M chrt wnu ll low: 'n ) me the irmh) 1 m fVnd I r kwg r tnpV BMcmhcr'ihm Foot (scud 1 pukkue top). Kan e ... Street ... .... City .State.. |