Show what kS about Chronic Influenza DALM PALl 1 ALM SPRINGS CALIF 1 I I came out here to get rid of my influenza But as I pen these despairing words my in influenza influenza influenza in- in is cuddled up tip to this inflamed bosom This is not the puny trifling influenza of f the Interior but the sun kissed extra extra- special Influenza of golden California Califor Califor- ala nia the thc one outstanding outstanding out out- standing product of this coast which our V 11 1 i tourist hure bureaus bureau's us do donot not advertise f T I n nth t ii e ef D. D 1 f form Its It's like visiting vis vis- L 4 kinfolks from fromI fromback I 4 back East arris arriving lag lagin 1 j In the fall and Eind hanging on 00 all win ter T The 11 e kind I have s stays t a y s long Irvin Cobb S. S enough to rn m make ak e eyou eyou you wish you were dead and not quite long enough to kill you After Arter swallowing so many different different different differ differ- ent remedies I am as you might say full of conflicting emulsions When I sneeze my watch stops When I cough sea lions get Jealous and I seem to feel a lot of things giving way inside of ot me When I open my mouth somebody sticks In either a pill or a thermometer and neither one helps S S Testing Drunken Drivers Fon t JOR OR testing drunken drivers the I Cleveland police have hare a device named the tele stethoscope But why not Just ask the suspect to pronounce It and abide by the results Old times back home we had our I Iown own system We didn't follow the I New v York scheme of Inviting the I alleged Inebriate to say Simile SIssie Fitzgerald Fitzgerald Fitz Fitz- I gerald because hed he'd probably take refuge In his constitutional rights as a southern gentleman and refuse to bandy a lads lad's name In any such place as the Under our plan If It a n citizen was 1 lying ln In the street and his fingers didn't move he was Intoxicated But nut If It even en his little finger mo e moved he merely was resting But we didn't have ha alcoholic automobiles au au- to pester us The surplus surplus surplus sur sur- I plus population was reduced with firearms or cutlery thus giving everybody everybody ev ev- a chance S S Mankind's Real Humanity WHAT T with this and that just V V when a fellow feo Is almost rea ready y to decide that time tile human race should be charged off as practically practically cally a n total loss something happens This time It happened In a little mine In Nova Scotia where the time calm heroism of two men penned with the time body of their dead comrade at atthe atthe atthe the bottom of a in caved-in shaft was wa matched by the mn magnificent gallantry gallan try the Incredible Inci endurance of volunteer volunteer volunteer vol vol- rescuers who h by day lay nail and night unceasingly labored on In momentary momentary mo ran- peril of death for themselves themselves them them- selves to save sa the time lives of that trapped pair pair and and did dill save sare th them m. m An And a week weel or so before that It happened when a young girl drag dragged ed edthe the only other survivors of an airplane airplane air air- plane crash out of the flaming wreckage e and ministered to them and forgot her lien own hurts while she waded lon long miles down a snow- snow drifted mountain to give ghe the alarm and arid having given I en It It staggered ered back again to do what else she might S S S Bankers Versus Politics POLITICS certainly makes esA esI estranged es- es A I bedfellows But a Presidential campaign or two behind us and across the scene with thunderous tread stalked the sacred white cows of big money their udders dripping wisdom their gentlest bellow harkened to with eager enger ea en- ager a- a ger ears by candidates and delegates alike Statecraft mingled lel with high finance was what they offered In a arich arich arich rich and creamy measure to one and nil the nil the pontifical Mitchell the omnIpotent omnipotent omnipotent om om- Dawes the Infallible Insull In- In mill sull the wondrous WI Wiggin gln subsequently subsequently subsequently known as the tIme uncovered unco Wiggin ln And lo 10 the voice of Owen D. D Youn Young was as heard in the land But now alas where are the Ba- Ba ruchis of yesteryear Why If this summer ler the era a average e distinguished or as the case may maybe maybe be extinguished International banker bank bank- er tries to get et Into either national convention thc they'll charge him ad nd mission S 0 5 Me Meandering Horsemen A DARING DAnING soul residing in a aback aback L I back corner of ot Brazil decided to ride horseback to New York After After After Aft Aft- er jo Jogging ln alon along some weeks In what might be described as a series of general directions he reached Rio Janeiro only to discover er hed he'd al already already already al- al ready traveled 1200 miles mUes out of ot othis his way The name Is given as Senor Severino Severino Severino Seve- Seve rino Moura Fonseca but the gentleman gentle gentle- man certainly behaved as ns though he were n a congressional Investigating committee Why ho he even dered Senator Black mack of Alabama and up until the other day when the administration threw a n net over him the senator held the worlds world's championship for loose wandering Its It's startling Isn't It how suddenly sudden sudden- ly the great silence descends upon a n statesman who gets out of ot line with the top bosses I Copyright |