Show ire SUITORS OF by MELISSA WOULD SIDESTEP THE CAP AND BELLS mrs mis Merri wild sitting bitting before her mirror mirro r dipped her har dainty linger gei int 01 pot ot at crome creme dlane diane and smearing j the compound on thelow er part of her face ace began to rub it in with considerable vigor iler her maternal maiden launt Aunt jane finding her thus employed expressed come surprise tha hour of the tha operation being an untimely timely too much of it only makes em leeper meliana Meli aaa my dear she bho observed kindly p makes what deeper demanded tier her niece sume buffie asperity aunt jane coughed a deprecating lithe cough excuse mo me she ehe said bald im doing this because my mylace aca echea hes explained mrs do you understand auntie auntee it be ause ot of any waste ot of cellular tissue to decay and riot iua us living an aa you eem to sweetly in sinuate its because ivo ive overstrained over strained my cheek muscles smiling at mr ift mot leya merry jests what a geta tor for being allta icel as aa st 1 id just emerged from a protracted sum gum chewing coelest and had bad lost out an i a technicality lland hand do me a towel that man la is a pest 1 I thought you liked him said aunt jane you caiti he was such good compa company if I 1 remember rightly not stock company however howe said bald mrs mra for a one ona night stand hes bea all right but hes bes no attraction tor for a long run lie ile palls deal dearle ie and im no pallbearer if I 1 am still in ino mourning I 1 can take a joke as well is as any woman but I 1 lack the capacity ot of the comic section editors wastebasket youre on I 1 re the he t most changeable acm ka I 1 ever saw remarked aunt ja jano a 1 I like a little variety I 1 admit but continuous vaudeville la is something somei something hing blae again said mrs airs Merri wid you sae bee how hov its to affect I 1 me a ilont on t you after affer a session with rith that motley individual I 1 teel feel as it I 1 wore nn ein extent that abuit me without leaving their box ilow how tan you tS tirS so melissa said aunt jane jaile reproachfully reproach Cully dearle dearie replied misa merrald Merrl Merri wid ld men like mr motley ought to be exterminated life anything more in 0 r a than a joke to efiem at the other fellows expense its alsa a scream ft hen a i fellow being slips on oil something and fractures hla when some blodys new avo ve dollar hat blows oft off and rolls in the mud lie he howls howla with joy language la Is something forham to play on ail tho the jew la Is a bilco tho the irishman la Is a harp the a dago and the negro a smoke Bro oko and their mission in life la isto to furnish lunny stories about themselves for him to tell proud mans mana sense ot of humor and I 1 wish somebody could tell mo me where the sense cornea comes in A woman cant see eco anything particularly mirth provoking when people are butted by goats or kicked by mules it takes the fine perception of tho the masculine mind to properly appreciate tho the ludicrous element in the casualty ward woj d it was waa only yesterday Sest erday morning that you laughed when I 1 burned my my fay front froni with ft ith tho curling iron aunt jane accused mrs Merri wid giggled at tho the recollection 1 I know I 1 did dearie she eho admitted but it so BO much tho the calamity as the way you looked and besides I 1 bray theres a difference between a musical cachou batory tinkle and a haw haw baw I 1 got cot a red face and bulging buttermilk eyes I 1 hope 1 I dont wear fancy waistcoats coats and patent leather shoes with scalloped tan cloth tops I 1 dont shave my neck or drench my handkerchiefs with cologne or brush a six inch strand of moist hair across a bald spot 1 I dont see eee what that has to do with it said aunt jane then you must be suffering with and replied mrs M 1 I dont doitt tae wee anything back about the disadvantages JIM 11 all X V i I 1 A IN I 1 r s held hed instantly see gee the funny side of it large checked alg high water and red whiskers and had to talk up to them believe me sweet aunt its demoralizing I 1 pity bla bis wile it ho he ever gets on one e 1 I dont see any reason why he be said aunt jano jane 1 I do replied mrs Merrl wll no pay a lady any serious atten lion As ail between a funny man and a tat at man dearle dcarlo the fat man stands the best chance of being loved mr air motley would say ho he stand eland a slim dim chance but thank heaven 1 im not mr motley or mrs airs motley you know pet we like to lo be taken serl asly perhaps because we my any sense benso of humor ill tell you ibous that precious if what mr motley and others of his noble sex are with la Is a sense benee of humor let as offer thanks that in all our close celoso Ls with them we ve caught it ril ill say bay tor for poor dear henry that ho he any to speak of it if I 1 told henry all at once that the girl we had bad engaged the day before had bad departed at three p m with my souvenir coffeo spoons and that the water front in the kitchen range ranga had bad burst and that the tha moths had bad got into my furs fura and ruined them ind that id been omitted from the in rotations to mrs airs Swell upa ups reception len snot ind spattered hot tat fat on an my arm frying the potatoes and that the dressmaker had sent back my skirt with puckers all down the tha seams beams henry hato bave leaned back in his bla chair ind and whooped with merriment what mr motley would do hed instantly see cee the funny side bide of it and the he next thing you know id be trying 0 to o make a good impression on a sym pathetic jury theres one thing it if I 1 made a plea pica of justification on the aforementioned grounds it would lickle their sense ot of humor to such of a chronic cutup cut up from social and matrimonial points of view but a man can be perfectly killing tho the life alto of the party and even a sad ead wag if hes haa the kind that can get away with it then I 1 inter infer that your objection to mr motley la Is based rather upon his hl personal appearance and manner than hla his characteristic propensity to jest with it said aunt jane you may not have bava a keen sense benso of humor auntie dear said lira airs moral morrl vad but youre a great little at that A ladys suitor may bo be something of a jolter joker but bo be be bea a joke you mean too jocular dont you issa asked aunt jane 1 I mean oh tho the usel use sald said sa ld mrs Merri wid Copy copyright richt 1312 by W 0 J chapman |