Show TO 17 13 CHOKE A B ORAL ed device arranged to protect new yorker and Famil family yi J montgomery gubbine makes make contrivance tr til vance to ta absorb silly chatter of neighbor and throw it back at her now new york bee this fun funnel said bald J montgomery gubbins the other afternoon ter noon ire ha held up an ordinary tin funnel the kind grocery roen men keep near the vinegar berrel barrel this funnel continued 3 montgomery gubbins Gubb lna without waiting tor for tt a reply contains my own arrangement of violin strings and bona land and along this snout you seo see there la Is a little keyboard it will find any persons note and I 1 call it the gubbine silencer lencer Bl and word catcher 1 I was forced by circumstances to invent this contrivance tor for the tha protection of my family and my own peace of mind it happened this way the wife of our next door on the left of ow our omaha home Is a bore it was her habit before this and be waved the tha funnel to call on us several times a week just at dinner time she bhe always came to borrow barrow something a cupful of sugar suar a pint of milk or an egg oh I 1 keep you from your din dinnell nerl she ehe would exclaim with a sniff after declining an invitation to dinner she would take a few steps toward the door then stop and talk and talk and talk and every few words she eha would remark that she just must go 50 home courtesy forced my wife and me to stand and listen to tier her on these theae occasions dialog I 1 could always hear the dinner er cool off things came to a desperate pass one night when we bad a doletin distinguished person from clam gulf dining with us the neighbor was there and talked so long lone our dinner froze then came a loud snap from tho the dining room willie wlllie my youngest son was surreptitiously breaking an icicle aint f om the chickens wing and the distinguished person got mad because he wanted to do the talking himself hairs barig an idea suddenly kicked me into action I 1 rushed to the kitchen eni snatched able abla funnel from the hands bands of the cook and ran to my workshop presently I 1 emerged triumphant walking nonchalantly toward that talking female with the funnel hold held carelessly in my hand I 1 planted myself directly in front of her and pressed one of these keys the result was waa just as I 1 had planned the wo mans law jaw kept on moving but she spoke soundless Bound les words at least the only sound heard beard was the thud thud of her bt words dropping like pebbles into this funnel 1 I pressed premed another key the woman stretched her jaws as wide vide open as a she could then her words began to roll from the tunnel funnel back into haij month when her mouth was lull of words I 1 pressed a third key then she ate her own wod 1 I kept this up until ago got a vw tent lent attack of indigestion and wo we had to fo send for the doctor the medical man suld said but beres my cay train |