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Show , V 'C C e-- e ' - ie- ie - fl efl fljTIOf Ficrao I rcT iercT B 'B B ' jTIO\f jTIO f MV O OTWE 7i I IJ : \ J Ji a THE TWE By RUBE ItuBE Bun-D-up Bun D up BUILD-UP BUILD BUILD BunDupI GOLDBERGeOI'J1e GOLDBERG - - UP UPBy eOI'J1e eOIJ1e ' I " Ias I \ was \\as as ambling amblIDg along in my car carcountlng carcounting carcounting countlng counting posts and watching my mynervous mynervous mynervous nervous windshield wiper as It Itslapped itslapped itslapped slapped out a clear segment of a * aCIrcle acircle circle . when v.hen vhen I Ispied -spied spied plcd - a small sh man manwal1.mg manwalkmg manwalking wal1.mg wal1mg walkmg . ahe aheid ahe'td ahetd ' id The back of hisneck his hisneck hisneck neck seemed scemed a bit scrawny and a abttle alittle alittle bttle little round hat sat on top of his head headas headas headas as though a vagrant breeze brecze had haddropped haddropped haddropped dropped tt it thereHe thereHe there thereHe He was wns carrying a small bunch bunchof bunchof bunchof of 110v flowers . ers When I pulled alongside alongsideI I asked him it If rf he v . wanted anted a Wt lilt WtHis liltHis liftHis His clothes were limp with the thestendy thesteady thesteady stendy steady drizzle and he seemed scemed to tohwe tohive tohive hwe hive walked a long way wa } I ve ye only onlygot onlygot onlygot got a short way to go now * ' he said saidIt saidIt saidIt It am am aln t hardly worth bolhermg bothermg bolhermgabout bothermgabout botheringabout botheringaboutJump about aboutJump Jump in anyway anywa } ' , I sald'you said'you said sald saidyou 'you you ' ' you re all soakedAll soakedAll soaked soakedAll All right But I Im m only gomg going gomgaround goingaround goingaround around the bend there to Cypress CypressHills CypressHills CypressHiUs Hills As be he got into mto the lhe car he heheld heheld heheld held the flowers high so as not to tobreak tobreak tobreak break the stemsCypress stemsCypress stems stemsCypress Cypress Hills H111s I repeated by byway byway byway way of showing showmg a little I1tUe interest interestThat interestThat interestThat That s a II cemetery isn lsn tit t it it7 it7Yes ? ' Yes It its s a cemetery cemeteryOh Oh I said Flowers cemetery cemeteryram cemeteryrain cemeteryrain ram rain I kept a respectful silenceWhen silenceWhen silence silenceWhen When v . we e had driven a short dis distance distance distance tance there was a great rumble of ofthunder ofthunder thunder through thelow thelow the _ low hills and the theTh theThis theTl sky opened with a aIS asudden a1UIS , , Th Thsky Thissky This IS ISsudden sudden torrent thatWeek's thatWeeks that thatWeek's Week'smade Weeksmade Week's Weeks ' made the surround surroundmg surroundmg surroundmg mg landscape a wetBest wetBest wet wetBest Best blur blurGuess Guess I 111 Ill II pull iFiction FIctIon pullFIctIon up alongside theroad theroad the theroad road unt 1 it blowsover blowsover blows ' over I told my mypassenger mypassenger mypassenger passenger Neither of us spoke tor for tora fora fora a while wh11e The great clatter of the storm out outside outside side rendered the silence behmd behind .he he be .heclosed . Aeclosed beclosed closed windows v.mdows vmdows wmdows . a little llttIe oppressive oppressivePresentIy oppressivePresently oppressivePresently PresentIy Presently the little llttIe man said 'My My 'Mywe ' "Mywife Mywife " Mywife we wife is buried over there He pomt point pomted pointed pointed ed in III the direction of Cypress H1llsI HillsI Hills H1lls HillsIm I Im m sorry I answeredWhen answered answeredWhenJust , When- When - - WhenJust When-Just When Just Just a few weeks ago go 'Was Was ' Was it sudden 01- 01 or- or 01He orHe or orHe ' - He ignored my unfinished unfimshed ques questlon queslion question tlon lion and said absently It s strange strangewhat strangewhat strangewhat what a delle delicate ate thmg thing life llfe is It can canbe canbe canbe be cut off by an accidental move moveor moveor moveor or even a * thoughtless word Something Some Somethmg Something thmg thing you say can snap it off Just Justhke justlike justlike hke like a thin thm piece of thread " i There was a clap of thunder and andthe andthe andthe the downpour wrapped us in m a fresh freshfilm freshfilm freshfilm film of ram rain The little man told me mehis mehis mehis his story I give it to you m JD in hIs hIswords hiswords hiswords words as closely as I can remember rememberthem rememberthem rememberthem themi them themMartha i } ) Martha spent her whole life We trying tryingto tryingto tryingto to build bwld me up into mto something somethmg She Shestarted Shestarted Shestarted started right nght at the wedding weddmg She Shewas Shewas Shewas was about an inch mch taller than me meand meand meand and she wore her flattest heels at atthe atthe atthe the wedding weddmg and stooped over a ahttIe alittle alittle httIe little . when v.hen vhen the minister rmmster stood us up upfor upfor upfor for the ceremony She looked so soproud soproud soproud proud you d think thmk she was marrymg marrying marryinga marrymga a millionaire m11llonalre And me only a book bookkeeper bookkeeper bookkeeper keeper at the mill - - There wasn wasp t much about me she shecould shecould shecould could brag about lut but she made up upa upa upa a lot of things She said she won wonme wonme wonme me away from trom a n fancy blonde blondenamed blondenamed blondenamed named Till c e a and told how I saved savedthe savedthe savedthe the company s payroll when SIX SIXarmed sixarmed sixarmed armed bandits broke into mto the mill millOf millOf millOf Of course there wasn t any blonde blondenamed blondenamed blondenamed named T Tilie Tllie 1lIe and the Sl six sre " ( armed armedbanc armedbandits armedbandits banc bandits ts were Just ] ust two fellows tellows who wholooked wholooked wholooked looked in when whcp v.hc vhc . ) } they saw a hght I1ght light and andasked andasked andasked asked the road to Clo\crdale Clo crdale Clo\erdale erdale Closerdale CloerdaleMartha CloserdaleMartha ClocrdaleMartha \ Martha wasn t very strong and andgot andgot andgot got speUs spells now and then They saId saIdIt saidit saidit It was her heart I didn dldn drdn t pay much muchattention muchattention muchattention attention to what the doctor said saidI I d always alwnys make her rest ntter after ntterone afterone afterone one of her spells and she d come r at t a ad aq d q 9 ' " dr } Y YZa Za $ Ii IiI Iix I x { 6 n bo boK K ro ' How did 1t go ' she cried I shouldn t have told her around fine Jed Miley down at thepost the thepost thepost post office told me ll1e ixie ; his w wife e was I1ke like I1kethat likethat likethat that and as long as they didn dldn drdn t get getany getany getany any excit-ment excit ment excltoment excit4ment - or shock they could couldI1ve couldlive couldlive I1ve live to be a hundred Martha al always always always ways rested when I told her but she shenever shenever shenever never really rested even when she shewas shewas shewas was lying lymg down Her mind mmd was wasworking wasworking wasworking working She was thinking how she shecould shecould shecould could make the town know what a agreat agreat agreat great husband she had I tried to toexplam toexplain toexplain explam explain that it didn duin drdn t matter as long longas longas longas as v.eere . we v.e ve \ were \\ere ere happy But she kept on onbf'mg onbPmg onbeing bf'mg bfmg bPmg ' riled nled I Just lust ] ust k nd of hoped hopedsomethmg hopedsomething hopedsomething somethmg something big would v.ould vould . happen to roefor me mefor mefor for Martha s sakeWell sakeWell sake sakeWell Well sir it \ was as like hke the hand of offate offate offate fate Something Somethmg big did happen at atlast atlast atlast last At least it v k . was as big to Martha Marthaand Marthaand Marthaand and me Mr Clawson the presl press presldent pressdent president dent of the mill was getting gettmg up a admner adinner adinner dmner dinner m honor of the town council counciland counciland counciland and asked me to make a speechlWhen speechi speechl speech speechiWhen ! When I came home and told Mar Martha Martha Martha tha that evening evenmg she nearly jumpedout Jumped Jumpedout jumpedout out of her skin skm I had never made madea a speech before in my l life e I was wasscared wasscared wasscared scared stiff at the thought of it But ButMartha ButMartha ButMartha Martha was sJas \ as going to prove everything every everythmg everything thmg thing she had said about me methrough methrough methrough through that speech I just had to toshow toshow toshow show Mister Clawson and the cooncilmen coun coon councllmen counoilmen cllmen cilmen she was nghtThe rightThe right nght rightThe The dinner dmner was two weeks off o8 and nnd during durmg that thnt time Martha got some someof someof someof of the red back bnck . in her checks cheeks and andshe andshe andshe she moved around more 1 vely than thanshe thanshe thanshe she had is in years She made me meget meget meget get a dinner co coit cO'tt cOtt ' it with all thebongs the /bongs bongs fixings bongsthat fixingsthat / fixingsthat that thatent \ went \\ent ent with it She had the studs studsscrewed studsscrewed studsscrewed screwed in fn the shirt tour four days before be before before fore the banquetAfter banquetAfter banquet banquetAfter After we wrote the speech we we"ent wewent wewent "ent ent went " over it here and there until untll it itsounded itsounded itsounded sounded right Each even ng after afterd afterd d nner we d go to the kitchen where wherepeople wherepeople wherepeople people couldn t look in 111 and I d stand standon standon standon on a chair and make the speech speechI I must have dehveied dehveled deliveied that speech speechat at least fifty t mesWell mesWell mes mesWell Well the big n ght finally came cameWhen cameWhen cameWhen When I got dressed up I looked pret ty good Martha stood at the gatew gatev gate v w . aving avmg good by and looked ten tenyears tenyears tenyears years younger I was sort of choked chokedup chokedup chokedup up and happy I was only sorry she sheI shecouldn shecouldn shecouldn I couldn t come along Itwas It was Just Justfor justfor ] ustfor for men you know knowI I left my car M in front- front frontof ' ' - of the house houseand houseand houseand and walked down to the Clifton Cl.J1ton ClJ1ton . Ho Hotel Hotel Hotel tel so I could go over my speech speechJust speechjust speechjust Just one last time When I got there thereI I said hello to everybody-even everybody even everybodyevenLong everybodyevenLong everybody - evenLong Long } ear president of the bank I d dnever dnever dnever never spoken to him bun before I felt feltpretty feltpretty feltpretty pretty importantTHEY importantTHEY important importantto THEY put me on the platform next nextto nextto to Charlie Simmons Sunmons Summons who is qUite quitea a wit around these parts He has hasone hasone hasone one of Aose .hose hose . . ventriloquist ventnloqUlst dummIes dummIesand dummiesand dummiesand and also does card tricks He told toldme toldme toldme me a few Jokes ] okes and I laughed al although although although though I didn dldn drdn t listen llsten I took a taste tasteof tasteo1 tasteof of o1 the soup but after that I couldn t teat teat teat eat a thing thmg The speech kept pound poundmg poundmg poundmg mg in my headAfter headAfter head headAfter After the ice cream Mister Claw Clawson Clawson Clawson son rapped tor for order and made a aflowery aflowery aflowery flowery speech about the town coun councll council council cll cil Then the head of the council councilsaid councilsaid councilsaid said a lot of nice mce things thmgs about the themlll themill themill mlll mill and how much good it had haddone haddone haddone done the town More speeches fol folloved follov follov loved lov ed Each time the toastmaster toastmastergot toastmastergot toastmastergot got ready to call on the next neJ.t neJt . speak speaker er I shook all over thinking thmkmg it mIght mIghtbe mightbe mightbe be me It seemed that everybody everybodyin everybodym m in town was making makmg a speech My Mymouth Mymouth Mymouth mouth got dryThen dryThen dry dryThen Then Simmons got up and did cI1d his hisdummy hisdummy hisdummy dummy act and some card tncks tricks tncksHe tricksHe tricksHe He went over to the piano and sang sangsome sangsome sangsome some songs People called tor for more moreThey moreThey moreThey They all laughed and sang with him himI I looked at my watch It was eleven eleveno o clock clockI I managed to get my head clear clearand clearand clearand and quickly thought over the first fast firstfew fastfew firstfew few paragraphs of my speech They Theywere Theywere Theywere were saving savmg me tor for the last A sort sortof sortof sortof of surprise I thought Then Mister MisterClawson MisterClawson MisterClawson Clawson got up and his voice sound sounded sounded sounded ed tar far off He said some of the boys boyswanted boyswanted boyswanted wanted to play poker and others otherswanted otherswanted otherswanted wanted to sit around and chat It Itwas Itwas Itwas was too late tor for more speeches speechesAfter speechesAfter speechesAfter After hearing hearmg Simmons any more moretalk moretalk moretalk talk would be tame It was a awonderful awonderful awonderful wonderful evening evenmg and everybody everybodyhad everybodyhad everybodyhad had enjoyed it thoroughly They all allstood allstood allstood stood up and sang Auld Lang Syne Sync SyneThe SyncThe SyneThe The dinner dmner was overYou overYou over overYou You can t blame me for not being beingable beingable beingable able to think thmk clearly after that I Iwas Iwas Iwas was so disappointed I got kind of ofnumb ofnumb ofnumb numb I sneaked out through the theback theback theback back door and went home Martha Martharan Martharan Martharan ran down to the front gate and andgrabbed andgrabbed andgrabbed grabbed me around the neck She Shecried Shecried Shecried cried How did it go ? I said They didn dldn drdn t call on meI meI me meI I shouldn t have told her the truthIt truth truthIt truthIt It was a dreadful blunder |