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Show Tales Tale $ of oj the Town TownIn TownIn In Sardi s a wise guy was com commentmg corntncntmg mentmg upon the way in which a anews anews news weekly picture of some nota notables notables bles looked dwarfed compared to toMrs toMrs Mrs Roosevelt in their mIdst'That midst midstThat ' That 'That i 8 nothing said Merry Mac MacMcMichael MacMcMIchael McMichael to the way she dwarfs dwarfssome dwarfsome * some people who aren t even in the thepIcture thepicture thepictureWhen pIcture When Qoeen Queen Wilhelmina was inthe In Inthe the United Umted States during durIDg the war warshe warthe she made a tour of Inspection at atWest atWest West Point Pornt The boys boy * had hadbeen hadbeen been drilled tor for days and every de detail , " taU of protocol was carefully stud studied studled ied except one No one informed informedthe Informedthe the band which number to play for forHer Her Majesty i s entrance and the theleader theleader leader chose one of his favorite favoritenumbers favoritenumbers numbers without thinking thinkmg of the occaslOn oc [ casion caslOn So as the signal was wasgIven wasgiven gIven for the Queen s entrance entrancewIth entrancewith ( wIth every soldier standing standIDg ngld ngldly rigidly ly at attention attenhon ) the band brokeinto broke | into The Old Gray Mare She SheAm SheI Am t What She Used to Be BeA A group of editors were dIscuss discussing : ing the pros and cons of the OPA . . The 'The ' NAM is right said one oneAfter oneAfter After all they ve got business ex exI expenence expenence I penence that money can t buyThey buy buyThey They ve also got lobbies 'snapped snapped ' snapped a cynic that money can canThe The Intelligentsia The career of ofBooth ofBooth Booth Tark ngton Is a lesson to topage topage page struck neophytes In the first firstfive firstfive five years of his writing apprentice apprenticesh sh p the two time Pulitzer Award AwardWInner Awardwinner WInner earned the vast sum of of$22 of22 $22 22 $ 50 Dorothy Thompson wIll wIllalso willalso also col m tor for a weekly LoUIs LoUIsFIsher LouisFisher FIsher who auth d A Week WIth WIthGandhi withGandhl Gandhi is flying flymg to India to VISI VISIhIm visihim hIm There s a sizzi slzZ ! ng feud feudon feudon on between novelist James T Far Farrell Farrell rell and book critic cnbc Sterling Stermg ] NorthDr North NorthDr Dr Harold Urey atom bomb bombscientist bombscientist scientist ( one of the important importantones importantones ones ) will betcha we have an atom atombomb atombomb bomb war in m less than 5 years U Uthe Ifthe the powers don t agree soon soonWell soonWell Well goom bye bye alII all ! S been ruze ruzecolumnmg mzecolummng columnmg about you youThe The OPA situation situatlon summed up upIt upIt It s a question of whether the prices priceswIll priceswill wIll be held down-or down or down - or the people peopleheld peopleheld held up upThe The Funnies Alex Woollcott and andHeywood andHeywood Heywood Broun walked out on a anew anew new flop one night rught As he left lefthIS lefthis hIS row A pew Alex bent over overto overto to pICk- pICk pICkup picE - up a flower that had fallen fallenfrom fallenfrom from . a bouquet on the stageDon stage stageDon Don t you know it is bad luck luckchIded luckchided chIded Broun to take fio flowersfrom " ers ersfrom from a grave grave7 ? Percy Ham Hammond Hammond mond once critiqued cnhqued of a big show showfaIlure showfailure faIlure It is the first time hme in lD the theatre theatre atre history that an audience ever eversuffered eversuffered suffered from stage fright frightAuthor Author Somerset Manghampomts Maugham Mangham Maughampoints points pomts out All is grist for a avrlter awriter \vrlter vrlter \ s mill mm I don t create from fromthe fromthe the whole cloth either of reality or orof orof of fancy I have in m my lIterary lIterarylut literarykit lut items In the newspapers stray strayencounters strayencounters encounters in lD the street stories stones I Ihear Ihear hear no matter where Eventually Eventuallyout out they grind grmd either as a story or ora ora a play playThe The way a columnist colummst grinds it ev every every ery day-not day not day - not every year yearThe The Story TeUers Tellers Gene Fowler Fowlertold Fowlertold told Irvmg Berlin Berm You are one oneof oneof of the very few Immortals " , who ho is isstill isstill still mortal ! ! Quotation Marksmanship 0Henry 0 0Henry Henry Her dress fitted her WIth WIthfldehty withfidelity fldehty and discretion . . Bet.h Beth Bet.hBrown BethBrown . Brown Up In the skyscrapers old oldwomen oldwomen women were filling fIllmg their buckets bucketswIth bucketswith wIth footprints footprmts Phil Baker A Agal Agal gal looking for a guy who co Id Idmake Idmake make her dough dreams come eome trueAnon true trueAnon Anon He sat at his typewnter typewntertenderly typewritertenderly tenderly diapering dlapermg his brain chIld chIldwith childwith with neatly folded phrases phrasesMark phrasesMark Mark Twain Man was made at the theend theend end of the week weeb . s v \ , ork when God Godwas Godwas was tired Anon When a g rl rlwmks rlwinks wmks It means one of two thmgs thmgsShe thingsShe She has something somethmg in m her eye or orshe orshe she has somebody In it Ben BenHecht BenHecht Hecht He ate like hke a man with a astowaway astowaway stowaway under his vest OlIve OlIveSchremer OliveSchremer Schremer We talk tath so much of III IIItellect intellect tellect and knowledge but what are arethey arethey9 they ? After all the heart can t hve hveon liveon on them One would barter all one s sknowledge sknowledge knowledge for one kiss and all one s sintellect sintellect intellect for one tender touch-Just touch Just touchJustI touchJustone touch - justone I one ! ! The Times Berlin newsboy Ray RayDaniell RayDanicll Daniell reported that the Germans Germanshve Germanshve hve hope 'lope lope ' that there will be a war warbet warbet bet America and Russia They TheybelleH Theybelieve belleH . that such a war will gIve gIvethem givethem them an opportunity opportumty to revive Nazi Naziism Naziism ism In short when the AllIes AllIesknock Alliesknock knock each other-1t other 1t other - it s only oppor opportumty opportunity tumty knocking knockmg for Nazis ' Will Rogers went to a d nner but butdldn butdidn dldn t know it was a poht pollt cal af affaIr affair faIr The speakers were unammou unanimousin * m peddl ng bigotry and hatred of ofthe the foreign born As Rogers Rogersrose rose to leave ( m disgust ) ) he heard heardh h mself mseU announced as the next nextspeaker nextspeaker speaker who would give h s vIews vIewson viewson on the crying needs of the nation nationRogers nationRogers Rogers turned and drawled Alter AlterlIsten Afterlisten lIsten ng to those who preceded precedcd me meI meI I have come to the conclusion that thatwhat thatwhat what th s country needs la is fresh freshblood freshblood blood bloodand and what I need-Is need Is need - is fresh freshaIr freshair aIr W th th ( hit t he left |