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Show SE SEEN No NoUEAUD 'M M and ' HEARD OfAUD UEAUD UEAUDMAIN - o e > " * - MAIN STREET STDEEl STUa1 STREETOLD 7 r + o u uOLD OLD TIMER One who can canremember canremember cairemember remember when a good steak steakwas steakwas was only eight cents a pound- pound poundand poundand - - and when a sixpence bought a apocketful ' pocketful of rye rye0 rye0 -0- 0 - 0How -0 0 - - - - , How to save French li'rench lirench ' and Ita'ian Itaian Ital ItalIan Italian ' Ian art--declare art declare art---declare art - - - - declare Berlin an open opencity opencity ope cityHerr city , o- o - oHerr Herr Goebbels say says says that thatIf thatif if and when Germany is de- de defeated defeated - feated they won wont t have an another another other chance cbance to conquer the theworld theworld world for another 10 yearsPresumably yearsPresumably years yearsPresumably Presumably he figures It Itwill itwill will take that long 10bg to bor- bor borbow borbow - bow the money from the theUmted theUnited United Umted States states0 States0 -0- 0 - 0Oscar - 0Oscar - Oscar Hassenpfeffer tumbled tumbledover tumbledover tumbleover over 50 feet yesterday JDornmg morning morningand momin E , and wasn wasnt t hurt a bit b1t He got gotoff ; off a crowded bus busI busThe bus0 I -0- 0 - 0The , The mountaineer walked Into Intothe intothe o the doctor's doctors ' office and told the thedoctor thedoctor e doctor that he wanted him to tosee tosee c see what he lie could do about aboutpatchIng aboutpatching abou patchinf patchIng up his son in m law's laws ' ear earsaymg earsaying --saymg saymg -saying saying - - sayinr , * ' I shot a hole in 11 it 11yesterday ityesterday < yesterday " The odctor reprimanded him himseverely himseverely bin binseverely severely The idea ' ' Shootln Shootinc Shooting : his hisson hisson hi hison s son in law ' The mountaineer replied replied"Waal l , "Waal Waal " , you see , he wasn't wasnt ' m my myson myson ; } son m In law yesterday0 yesterdayo yesterday " --0- 0 -o-- o - 0A - oA - - A fellow applied apphed for a job jobwho jobwho who said he had made hISlIvmg hisliving his hisliving living lIvmg sticking stIckmg his right arminto arm armInto arminto into a hon's hons ' mouth Odd thathis that thathis thathis his name should pe be ie ' Lefty0 Lefty0 Lefty " --0- 0 -0-- - 0Hey - 0Hey o - - Hey , ! : ' Brls I'lds Ilds girls * , if your BoyFriend BoyFriend Boy Friend is m In Australia , betternot betternot better betternot not neylect nerlect neglect your correspon- correspon correspondence correspondence - dence About 10 000 Amer Amer- American American American - ican soldiers already hAve hve hAvemarried hvemarried & * married Australian girlso : firls girls lrIs t t0 ' --0- 0 -o-- o - 0MIss - oMiss o - - 'Miss Miss ' Adams was marned married marnedSunday marriedSunday marnecSunday [ Sunday to cmfwyp etaoin shrdi'reads shrdireads shrdl ' reads an item in a Montana paper pa paper paper per Probably a fellow of Czech Czechosiavakian Czechoslavakian Czechoslavakian osiavakian oslavakian extraction extraction0 extractiono --0- 0 -o- o - - oPome o - 0Pome Pome PomeI I wish I were a kangaroo kangarooDespite kangarooDespIte kangarooDespite Despite his funny stancesI stances , , I d have a place to put the Junk Junk1ly junkMy iunlMy ' 1\ly 1 ly My \ girl gul friend brmj's brmjs brings brines ; ' to danc dane dances danees dances es es0 eso -0- 0 - 0FRECKLES -o o - o - - - - - - - - , FRECKLES would be a nicicoat mce mcecoat nice nicecoat , coat of tan if they could get together to together together gether gether0 gethero --0- 0 --o-- o - 0Many - - oMany o - - Many a man observes observesDad observesDad observesDad Dad Gummit Gummlt has lost a fight fightby fightby fightby by stopping stoppmg to pat himselfon himself himselfon on the backs back\ back back backo ' \ back0 -0- 0 --o- o - 0Customer - - oCustomer o - Customer I won t be able to topay topay t tpay < pay for this suit for three threemonths threemonths thre thremonths < months monthsTailor Tailor Oh don t worry abouhat about aboutthat aboutthat that : sirCustomer sir sirCustomer sirCustomer Customer Why that thats s very verymce verynice ver : nice mce of you Now when will the theSUit thesuit thsuit SUit be ready7 ready ready7Tailor ? ' Tailor Tallor In three months sir sirL.9 sir0 -L.9- L.9 - . L.9Dad --0 0 - - o - - - Dad Gummit Gummlt always had theast the thelast thelast last word when talking talkmg with hiswife his ! wife He always said All rIghtdear rightdear right dear0 dear0 dear dearHe -0- 0 -0----- - 0He 0He - - - - - - He had a dog that liked ltked exercise exer exerclse exercise clse cise went for a tramp every day day0 day0 -0- 0 -0-- 0Sure - - 0Sure o - - - Sure paper can keep you youwarm youwarm youwarm warm Dad Gummit Gummlt had hadone hadone hadone one kepthim a mortgage that kept kepthim kepthim him sweating sweatmg for 20 years years0 -0- 0 - 0Pvt o 0 0Pvt Pvt Percy Whiffletree has bas an anInventton aninvention aiinvention Inventton invention that beats V letters letterslie letterslie lettersIe lie crossed a carrier pigeon lettersI with witha witla I a woodpecker that not only de delivers deivcrs ! livers his letters but knocks ahe at atthe the door |