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Show Kathleen Norris Says : Forgiveness in Marriage MarriageBea . . . . BeU Bea B7Ddc.te B7Ddcte B7Ddc.teWNU ayndieate-WNW ayndieate WNW ! - -WNU WNU - Latrine .Nn Nn 1 1v v s sl s ' I Ifr fr l l lae ae aer aed1 r d1 ) to , toM M / ' ; / r rr r rI I 1/ 1 11 / ) 1 1Paendy ' 1 Paendy , hosteues are saying , "And And " ell ellsik sik . nice man for you , ivy " ft ft.lweys .lweys lweys . tuns out so be PM Lcrnmore , Ae greatest bore in the whole circle . By B7 KATHLEEN NORRISWHEN NORRIS . 'r r ' ' ( THEN HEN our children are arehttle arelittle WHEN 1 n f httle little we give them cer cer- certatd cer1 certain - 1 ' 1 ' tain tatd taut nursery rules of ofliVIng ofliving ofliving liVIng They don't dont ' belIeve belIevethem believethem believethem them , but they believe us usLater usLater usLater Later on we again agam give them themthe themthe themthe the benefit of our expenence experience expenenceand experienceand experienceand and belief This Thxs time bme they theydon't theydon't theydon't theydont don't dont ' ' believe eItherFor eitherFor either eitherFor For example when you tell a arestless arestless arestless restless discontented chsillUSloned70ung disillusionedyoung chsillUSloned disillusioned disillusionedyoung 70ung young wife that she will make a agrave agrave agrave grave mistake It U if she divorces her herhusband herhusband herhusband husband she flatly flaUy doesn doesnt t beheve beheve70U beheveyou believeyou 70U you . . Harry , whom she married marriedWIth marriedWith marriedwith WIth such radiant rachant hope and conti confl contidence confldente conndence dence dente only onl7 seven years 7ears ago has hasturned hasturned hasturned turned out to be a completely unI8tlsfactorr tinsatisfactory un tin unabstactory abstactory I8tlsfactorr satisfactory partner They just don t tleem tseem tseem leem seem to speak the me same language languageor or want the same things any more moreIvy moreIvy moreIvy Ivy has always hated divorce chvorce and andGod andGod andGod God knows she hates it now but butanything's butanything's butanythlne's butanythlnes anything's anythings ' ' better than to have a ahtUe alittle alittle htUe little boy growing owing up with a father fattier fatherand fatherand fattierand and mother who have stopped lovmg loving lovmgeach lovingeach lovingeach each other , and hearing hearmg quarrels all allthe allthe allthe the time tune Lots of Ivy's Ivys ' ' friends are arechvorced aredivorced aredivorced chvorced divorced , , and they seem much hap happier happier happier pier and freeri freerl freer ! She 11 II B make it up to tohtUe tohtue tolittle htUe JohnHarry JohnHarry John JohnHarry Harry agrees to the divorce Ivy Ivyrushes Ivyrushes Ivyrushes rushes ahead with it ft There Isn isntany t tany tany any happiness at this : point nor any anyfreedom anyfreedom anyfreedom freedom for new responslblhtles responsibihties responsibilitiesand responslblhtlesand responsibihtiesand and annoyances surge into mto the gaps gapsleft gapsleft gapsleft left by the old ones and are worse worsethan worsethan worsethan than they The close friends fnends who whoadVlsed whoadvised whoadvised adVlsed advised Ivy not to put up with Har liar Harry's liarty's Harry's Harrys ry's rys ty's tys ' ' goings gomgs on now draw discreetly discreetlyaway discreetlyaway discreetlyaway away they don t remember ever everhavmg everhaving everhaving havmg having said anything against poor poorold poorold poorold old good-natured good natured - - - Harry They ask askbun askhim askhim bun him to dinner They all feel sorry sorrytor sorryfor for poor little httIe httle JohnIvy John JohnIvy Ivy 1\7 1 7 \ has nervous ta.lJa talJa talks . talk * with Wlth her herlaW'er herlawyer herlawyer laW'er laWer lawyer ) ' Hundreds of women go mto into mtonervous intonervous mtonervous nervous breakdown at this pomt point . , . IV7 Ivy pointIvy hates bates business She hates Johns Johnsinnocent John a ainnocent sinnocent innocent talk of his father She hates hatesdecldmg hatesdeciding hatesdeciding decldmg deciding what to do with John She ShemISses Shemisses Shemisses mISses affection adection , , approval , , coopera cooperatton cooperatiOD cooperation tiOD tion from her own circle So she shemarries shemarries shemarries marries again . . She marries a man exactly exacUy likp like likpHarry likeharry likeHarry Harry , . only 0I 7 with a different chflerent outside outside'All Annafrom ' , 'All All AU All very verr well well , . , ' " writes Anna from Palm Beach . . , But what about aboutactual1nfldelity aboutactual aboutactual actual1nfldelity actual infidelity ? I ve ye been marrIed 17 married17 years When we had bad been mar marned married marrued ned rued about five Bve and had two gIrls Archie girlsArchie had an affair with Wlth his office officeclerk officeclerk officeclerk clerk clerk , , a divorced woman 10 years yearsolder yearsolder yearsolder older weak.I weakI than th2n he I was sickly weak weak , , . I needed > him > < m terribly and he was waswOnderfully waswonderfully waswonderfully wOnderfully tender with me and 1 rorgavd torgavd 1torgave 1rorgavd 1torgavd h1m-but h1m but him-but him him - - but I watched I ! Our OurIon Ourson Ourion Ion son was born born , , , everything everythmg went on onwell onwell onwell well thenfour tor for another few years and then four : years rears ago It began all over overagam overagain overagain agam again . . . This Thus time It itwas was also an a aolder anolder n older anolder woman whom he saw when whenever whenever whenever ever business busmess took him to a city a thousand athousand miles away I found the letter theletter that told the whole story im tin immediately tinmedfately immediately thenFve thenrye thrye mediately medfately got a divorce Since then th en rye worked helped financially by byalimony byalImOl17 alImOl17 alimony and domestically by mytwo bytwo ; my two advised girls What would ; you have ad advised advised vised in this case caseT caseTMy ? My girls airls and boy love their fa ther tather father he takes them off alternate alternat alternateweekends alternatweekends alternateweek-ends alternateweek ends e week-ends week ends weekends - - makes them presents They presentsThey don t discuss it it , , , but they blame blameme blam blamme blameme e me and I ] know mow It it . . . I have never neve r been neverbeen nevebeen happy I didot dldnt d1dn t expect to be But beBut there is fs justice In this thla thlaworld ; world .r r . D Dg DAn g An afaw iff air uuth with hu his clerk . . . . I IS DIVORCE WISE ' Bow How much muchshould shoulda should a wifeendure wIfe wifeendure endure before she turns for re relief reo re- re reolIef reIse - lief Ise J to the divorce courts9 courts This(5 This5 Thr.s Thrs Thu Thuis . 1 is $ ( a problem that many ttomen women womenhave ttomenhave u.omenhave uomenhave . have to face at some stage intheir In Intheir their married marned life Maybe it'sjust itsjust It's Its It'sJust it'sjust ' Just a vague discontent oocontent , , a feel feel- feelmg feeling feeling - - ing mg ofneglect fneglect o of f neglect , or a realisationthat realIzation realtzatson realIzationthat real tzatson tzatsonthat that the glamour of o f the first firstyears firstyears firstyears years have fledor fled-or fled or fled - - or it may bea be bea bea a serious .erlous erlous . injustice . , as U ( in 5n thiscase th1 this thiscase $ case discussedto discussed in 1 to this issue usue issueShe usueShe issueShe She had been married mamed mamedabout marriedabout about aboutfive aboutfive aboutfive five years when . she dIScovered dIScoveredthat discoveredthat discoveredthat that unfaithful her husbandwas husband was un unfaIth f faith aith aithJul ful Jul She for forgave gave him that time'He timeHe tIme ' ' He was otherwise otherwue an excellenthusband excellent excellenthusband excellenthusband husband husbandand and father-a father a father--a father - - - a good goodprovIder goodprovider goodprovider provIder affectionateAbout alfechonateAbout , and andalfechonate andaffectionate alfechonate affectionate About ten years later he heagam agam again agamwandered againwandered againwandered wandered from the pathof patho path ofvIr fvir o of f virtue vIr vIrtue virtue tue She immediately got a dI- dI dIvorce divorce di divorce - - vorce , giving gwmg gwmgup up her luxunous luxurious luxunoushome luxurioushome luxurioushome home and andsecure secure social sodal pos posenon posi pose position " , tion hon non Althoughshe Although she receivedalimony receivedalimony receIVed receIVedalImony alImony , she had to work tosupport to tosupport tosupport support the three chIldrenSomehow childrenSomehow children childrenSomehow Somehow , she wonders if i f dl di dlvorce divorce vorce voree was the right move Thechildren Thechildren The Thecluldren cluldren children stdllove still love their father father.and fatherand . , , and andsee see him often Theirf Theirvends Theirfriends TheIr TheIrfnends fnends fnendsand f vends andneIghbors and neighbors seem tosympathize to tosympathIze tosympathize sympathIze with him JustIce Justiceis IS on her side , but hers was a ahollow ahollow ahollow hollow victory , it now appearsthere appears appearsthere there is right and wrong Is a agood agood agood good faithful wife to condone what whatbehttles whatbelittles whatbelittles behttles belittles and insults msults her and let aman a aman aman man get away with Wlth this tms sort of ofthIng ofthe ofthing7 thIng the , ' We bad had a lovely home I had hada hada hada a faithful and beloved colored help help- helper helper . - er my children had infinitely mfirutely mfimtely better bettersocial bettersocial bettersocial social prospects than they have nowWho now nowWho nowWho Who changeArchie is 15 s to blame for this change Archie or I I7 ' I acted as I thought thoughtI I 1 actingWas aCUngWas was entirely entlrely ; justified in aCUng acting Was I right7 right right7My ' My answer Is no you weren t tright tright right werenfright . . In marriage-in marriage in marriage - - in true marrsagethere mar marrlagethere marnage rlage-there rlage there rsage-there rsage - - there must be forgiveness for foreverythmg foreverythuig foreverything everythmg everythuig even that A wife wifeneedn wifeneedn wifeneednt needn t love the sin sm but she must mustforgtve mustforgive forgtve forgive mustforgive the sinner She can pity hisweaknessthat his hisweaknessthat hisweakness weakness-that weakness that - that stupid male weakness weak weakness weakness ness of the spirit and flesh alike alikethat alikethat that alikethat so loves flattery I ! She can be bethankful bethankful bethankful thankful kepther in her soul that she kept her vow if U he dldn didn didnt t have strength strengthenough strengthenough strengthenough enough to keep his She can accept accepthis his apologies and promises with dig dignl dignitand dignity nit-and nit and nl l-and l and ? - and not too much bellefAnd beliefAnd belief bellef beliefAnd And she can keep the home to together together together gether live hve for her children friends friendsbooks friendsbooks friendsbooks books garden kitchen clubs-a clubs a clubsathousand clubsathousand clubs - athousand thousand normal Interests She can cansimply cansimply cansimply simply heartthe close one door of her heart the glory of young love and trustMany trustMany trust trustMany Many a loving lovmg elderly man and andbis andhis his wife rightly proud of their fine finechildren finechildren finechildren children their home their place iD in iDsociety insociety society crisisWives have passed this crisis Wives have faults too Nagging Naggmg extravagance ex extravagance extravagance travagance crossness neglect 01 of olthe 01the ofthe the children se1ftshness-these se1ftshness these selfishness-these selfishness selfishness - - these are goodhusband the arethe grave faults that many a good husband isthe has to forgive Infidelity Infldehty ; Is the bitterest cross a wife Wlfe ever has hasto to bear It outrages everything that loveBut issacred is sacred in m her wifely love But ruiningseveral it un sn isnt t good cause for ruining several hves lives It isn fsn tin t good cause for causetor causefor breaking up a home Nothing Nothmg is |