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Show SEEN JEN [ JlEAIIDC 1t1Q d UEARD JlEAIID HEafD HEafDMAIN -C C - > < Z > / - , - MAIN STREET STUEET STREETIc ; :1 1 : @ I Ic ? e.E eE e.ET e.EThe . T ; 1 ) ul The ' ipplicint 'lPPUc'lnt lPPUclnt applicant ' for a job as sales salesman salesman man had never had any selling ex expencnce experience expencncc pencnce perience tUngor adeltI.ingor never studied ad\eltI.ing adeltI.ing ad eltI.ing eltIing ads ad\ei ad ei \ ertLin ertLinor . g orsalesmanship or alesmanship alesmansll1p salesmanship < but he had a hadbland bland abiand abland putto puto new ne\l ne l \ set of tires ' ind 'lnd lnd and was put pu t to toIork work000 \ work \Iork Iork Iork000 -000- 000 000I - - 000If oOo oOoIt - - It I If ! iou you OU OUI \I I \ want ant to kill kll ! time S"l Sl say " s todeath D"ld Dld Dad slisDid sayDad " Gumint Guml1'1t Guml11t Gumrrit ' tI1I try tI1 ' \I I \ working orking it to t o I deathI death death000 deathoOo ' -000- 000 -oOo- oOo - 000Oscal - oOo oOoOscal oOoOscai - Oscal Oscai Hassenpfeffer Hassmpfeffer was wa.s . a lock loch locksmIth locksmith smIth raidedthe raidethe and hen the police pollce ponce raide raided d mikinga m"lkmga makinga the gambling joint helas he \ was \las las m"lkmg mlkmg making " a bolt for the door -000 000 --00o 00o 000Street - - - 00oStreet oOo oOoStreet g-ntlemetithese g ntlemetithese gntlemehthese ntlementhese Street Vendor Yes g-ntlemeh g ntlemeh g - - ntlemen these razoi raZOl razor blades represent represen t the thegreatest thegreatest thegreatest greatest value I Ive ve ever had at the thepnce theprice theprice pnce price They aie ale are an excellent bargain bar bargain bargain gain asou as ' \ ion \ou ou you can see for yourselves yourselvesand yourselvesand and they are guaranteed gu"lranteed gulranteed " to last lastuntil lastuntil lastuntil 'and and yourselves'and ' until they aie ale are s ' \ om outBstander outBystander out outBystander Bystander Bstander ) ( skeptically skeptlcaJly ) ) But Butwill Butwill I \\111 111 will \ \ the they } cut a tough beard ? ? I Street Vendor No No\ No Nos Nothat \ that you youhav youhave hav have " asked me that question bro brother broher brother ther ( I am bound to say they theywillnot W11l will W11lnotbut willnotbut -willnot willnot - not-but not but - - but thit th"lt thlt that " is theu then only faultn0o fault 100- 100 -n0o- n0o - 100One - < n0oOne oOo oOoOne - One of the toughest decisionswhich decisions decisions"hlch decisionswhich "hlch hlch which " almost periodically confronts confrontsmarned confrontsmarried confronts'married confrontsmarried confronts'marriedwomen ' marned married marnedlomen \ -women women \lomen lomen - is ms whether it is ismore ismore Ismore theirhusbands more piofitabi3 Plofitabl profitable ' to go against agamst theIr husbands II will III regardless or to toabIde toabide toabide abIde by hl hi . > decision ind 'lnd lnd and ' play pla pIa } ) therole the thelole thelole lole role of ) f nartir martyr mart ) r _ _ _ -000- 000 000Voice - - 000Voice oOo oOoVoice - thefire Voice on Telephone Telethone Teleohone ) Is this th the fire department9 department department9Fire ? " itVoice Fire Flre Chief Yes i s \ hat is It ? V01ce Voice Wheres Where s the nearestalarm nearestalarm nearest alarm box bob ' ? " I II want ant to turn in m analarm analarm an analarm alarm000 alarm 000Whll - -000- 000 - oOo oOoWhil - sickthe Whil Whll 000--While 000 While - ' Per y Wh1ffletleelas Whiflletiee Wh1ffletlee Wheffletree \ was \las las sIck the onlv only thing thmg his relatives did fOl tor foihim fOlhun torhim hun him hunI \I I \ was as to keep up his Insurance000 insurance000 insurance -000- 000 -000-- 000Teacher - - 000Teacher o0o o0oTeacher - - - Teacher to Italian Itallan boy Nick Nickthe the theord railroadterm railroadtenn \ word \\ord ord semaphore is a railroad tenn term and I want you } ou to sho shpv v the I - - - - class 1 ow you 5 } ou can put it into a ascntence asentence asentenceItalian scntenceItalJan sentenceItalian scntence sentence ItalJan Italian boyA boy boyA boyA A walkI nice mce a gal I take for a walk \ all . MarieShe I sa say } Have Ha\e Ha e \ da sodi sod'l sodl soda ' Marie Marie'She MarieShe ? ' ' She siy S'lY SlY say ' Sure a Mlk Mike n ake akc mesundae mesundae me mesundaeI sundae sundaeI I siy S'lY SlY say ' tt-e tt e t ? - ) 0 e semaphore me000 me000 me -000- 000 - - 000Definition oUo oUonelimtionMODERN - 000DefinItion DefinItion DefinItionMODrRN DefinitionMODERN nelimtionMODERN MODrRN MODERN : GIRL Oneho One \ who \\ho ho \ do doss dossn do'snt dosnt ' s sn n pieslike t win her man by making pies like moth moth'r mothr mother ' r used uscd to make but bv by bvm1kml bym bvmi m1kml\ m1kml making m1kmleesjust m a kins king \ ' ees-just ees just eves-Just eves e > ) os - - just like mother use usedto d Ito make000 make " ' usedjIto usedj I -000- 000 000Buck - - 000Buck oOo oOoBuck - Buck Privateho Private \ who \\ho ho laughs at cap taln tarn captains captaln captarn s bum jokes has bum sense capI of o f ofhumor ohumor I I ofI humor but gets longer furlough furlough000 I -000- 000 --000- 000Fllst - - - oOo - ofI Fust Fllst Fiist Veteran I see tee ee a lot of ofguys o oguys ofguys f I . guys are getting mimed m'lITled mlITled married ' so they theysont the thei\ont thei ont \ Ion sont t ha haie base " , " to go to warSecond warSecond war warSecond Second Veteran Chumps War Warmay Wa Wamay Warmay r may be b ' b'ld-but b'ld bld but bad-but bad bid ' - but It aln sin aint t trat that tt at b'ld000 bad000 bid b'ld bld bad ' -000- 000 --000- - 000Hey - - 000Hey oOo - - Hey cook . ' ' Th- Th Thres Theres < > - re res s a cotton cotter cottonglolc cotterglove cottongkne glolc glove in mv my ste stevGee stev v . It-oughtId It oughtId ttoughtI troughd Gee thanks soldier I tt-ought tt ought trough - - t I id d lost lt it _ _ --vvv- vvv vvvSOL - - SOLUJ SOLED SOLM SOL\ SOL \ UJ U vvvj nil IHL IJIL , rrOBIEM PPOBIEM PPOBIEMPetrr prom rrOBIEMPet r:1\1 r:1 r1 1 r:11Petor : \ j Petor Petrr Pet r Jenkms Jenkins died dlcd aid a'1d a1d and ' left h\o h o hogro11 twoerown to toarosvn \ gro\\11 gro 11 arosvn \ ' but halfwit sons Bi l 1 and andJun an anJun andJim d Jun All they knew s \ as ns ho vfarm v 0 0farm ofarm farm and they d d thatleU that \ well \leU leU Bu Buthey But Butthe Butthe I the they ) both 10\ 10 low 10d } o\ o od \ \ d I loises losses Dlses and Peter Pate Patey Peter\ Peter Peterould r y \ ould have nothing nothmg but mules muJe on ont1 o otl ontl t1 tl a e place Right ifter 'lfter lfter after ' the funoral funoralof fun ra raof ralof of their thclr ither 'lther lther ather ' they gratified grahfied their then thendesire theirdesire r desire . u t.T tT is d bought a te tcim team TY\ TY \ TY'PI 'PI PI Thi 'PIone ' ! THone Thione , one is mine mme said Bill BIU This on onis oneis onejIS onej IS mine slid S'lld Slld said ' JImBut Jim JimBut ' But th'y thy they th ' ' y couldn couldnt t tell tcll them apar aparand apartand t apartlI apartland and trouble arose Th y finally finaUy apartl de deClded dccided detided I . Clded tided that B 11 should bob hl hi hibhorse S Shorse horse s t'lll1 till t'lll tlll tail ' w \1 1 which \ hich hlch 1 I e did and eac eacthen each hl I | I then . kne I.ne Ine v lIs 1 1 is horse horsc One day Jn Ju Jii Jiil'oise " ' > 'IrOI 'I I hoise l'oise loise rOI ' e fell do n in 111 front of the th thmover themo mo mover 'er er ' er and his tail tall \ was as cut ofttoo o otoo oft ! too They held another pailey palley parley Jim Ji Jisolsed Jim"ohed Jimohed ni 01ed solsed " < 01\ 01 \ ed the problem prcbiem He got a rim r'lm rlm ham hammer r'lmmer ' Imer mer and knocked all aU his horse horseun horsesup s a sup un up er er teeth out _ _ _ L That worked until Bills horscavorting hors horsecavorting e cavorting IIcavorting around the barn lot 10t ra rainto rail railmto raninto u II mto into a post and knock-d knock d knockod knocked ' - his uppeI uppe i I uppeiteeth uppeteeth teeth out too A longer conferencensued conference conferenc e ' conferenceI I nsued ensued and they decided that th thhorses thatnoises at I IhOI horses hOI es could not have exactly tle is issa tie'are tieare ate e sa ' < a t'e te re ' measurements measurementsSo So they got a ) sardstick yardstick ardshcl . and afte aftemuch aftemuch aft aftmuch e much maneuvering maneuvermg found a laat laatC laatin Id Idbtin . t tin in ' " ' method methoi of identifl identIft identiff atlOn-tht atlOn tht ation-th ation th ationthblack atlon - - theblack C : black horse " was "as as one inch higher high highand higherand era I ) and t\l t l two \ 0 Inches longer than tne tneI t twhite tnewhite ne \I I \ white hlte horse i iDon horseI I , Don t t borrow-subscribe borrow subscribe barrow-subscribe barrow borrow - subscribe I - - - - - - - |