Show SEEN SEEP 4 and d HEARD I e V Q o oMAIN MAIN STREET 1 MO P Percy Perty Whiffletree has reached the height of efficiency since wife went nent ent east to visit her mother He now can put his socks on from either end Tip To Husbands Mrs Smith Sn th has had three ee new hats since I bought this one Hubby Well dear it rf Mrs Smith eie ele as pretty as you OU she would not have to be so dependent on milliners We can cant t ALL be smart says Dad some of us mt mm mist st be USEFUL also Definition CLASSICS Books Also a safe place to hide something you don t twant want ant the family to find Science is 15 truly wonderful saS says Dad Gumnit but an zipper is still sull as embarrassing IS s an unbuttoned l button That looks like an old axe said the visitor at a pioneer home It Is the p said It s tt it least 75 years old I bought ithen It when hen henI I was vas a boy bo It seems to be in good shape for such an age Well It its s had three new blades and nine new handles but except eJ for that its Just the same as the day I bought it The theater manager was un unde unde unde de whether to put satin COy cov covers ers era on the seats and charge 50 cents or put silk covers on them and charge 35 cents But he finally decided it would be better to put people on the seats and charge a quarter 1 A man was sitting bv by the d death deathbed deathbed ath bed of his partner The partner knew he was vas dying and with wl h a sigh of repentance saidI said saidI I have a confession to make Joe I robbed the firm of 50 and sold the blueprints of our secret formula for I was as the guy gu v who ho was as going out with your wife when y sou ou mere ere s v working and I That s all right old pal Jal said his partner Think nothing of It WhY in hell do you think I poisoned you Oscar decided he ought to have more ex ex- so he went ent out seven nights running PONE POlE Girls who ho offer consolation Become the mothers of the nation Gals who ho like the feel of mink Lea Lease e the dishes in the sink palI Men who ho call you sou ou little pal I Angle foi for some otter ott-er gal Sal I represent the ABC Wool Co lady Would you be In Interested interested interested in some colorful Lady Yeah Tell me a couple An old woman oman was wandering through a museum with her grand so i 1 when hen they came to the usual statue of Venus de Milo MIo with half an arm missing on one s de and the wh h Ie le arm cut a ay a may ay on the other There ye al are ale e my lad the old lady wagging her finger at the what hat comes o a b tin sour our fin finger fingernails gel nails John ru rum led fed around 10 looking for hIS coat What do you want ant it for dear asked his wife That fel to 10 v Smith across the road Just telephoned to ask If it I could lend him a corkscrew Well what hat do you need your coat ford for Surely there s no need to go out you send Mary l with it John turn turned turned turned ed upon her more in sorrow than thanin thanin m in anger angel My dear he said your our last remarks sum up the whole hole reason why women cannot lead armies control nations or take anything but a subordinate ite part in inthe inthe the affairs of the world orld TALL AND STATELY GIRL I I One who was long and lanky until she inherited An Oklahoma editor tells of an anold anold anold old Indian that came into 1 I is of office flee fice to pay his subscription to the paper The Indian demanded a receipt and hll whiles making it out the editor asked why hy he Insist insisted d don on having the proof of payment pa So the Indian explained Me old pretty soon I die and go to heavers heaven and St Peter will wink u-mt In t to know If I been good Indian I say yes ves and he w v want ant to mo kno v if I paid editor for tor paper And I say yes And he asks Where is receipt And if I no have haH it 1 I have to run all 0 om o er er hell to find you and get |