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Show f ! SEEN SEENo SEENoIf'AR $ EEN 8hd 4 If'ARMAIN " ' - e > < : > , . - 'MAIN MAIN ' MAIN [ ' aM . P Pw PDefinition 1 = w . I @ . Definition DefimtIon DefinitionPOLITICIAN DefimtIonPOLITICIAN DefinitionPOLITICIAN POLITICIAN One who behe belle behethat , ' ! that the best place to balan e a tbudget th thbudget bUdget is on 011 oil the taxpayers tarpaers ta'Cpa taCpa ' ) ers nec- nec necoOo necks necks000 necksooo - > -000- 000 -ooo- ooo 000polltlcan - - oooOne oOo oOoOne - - One politican polltlcan feared the peoplcould peopwould [ "ouId ouId could " not net elect him because of hl hr hryouth hyouth youth that is the "ay ay n " \ ay h hspent tspent , spent it it000 it000 -000- 000 000News - - oOo 000News - - . News story sa ca ; oa\ oa oaoenll \ S ! > oicnil o\enll o enll overall \ silesare s'1.les s1.les s1les sales s'1.lesare salesare ' . are up 200 per cent cellt That Thatperha Thatperha Thatperha perha s is the most slgmfi sirnifi slgmficant sirnificant significant cant tashion 1ashlon note since smce 19"9000 19'9000 199 19"9 19'9 " ' " ' -000- 000 000Lena - - oOo oOoLenas 000Lenas - - Lenas Lena s boy friend fnmd always alnays al " a 'S S ' dnviaway dnve dnvea ' a"ay aay a " ay customers He is a tadiner tax tae taedi din di n er er000 er000 -000- 000 000Oscar - - 000Oscar oOo oOoOscar - - Oscar Ha.senpfeffer Hasenpfeffer Ha . enpfefler no now non " ha hasteady histeads stead steady } ' "OJh OJh " oik He pedales pedGles pedoles balloon'sheneier balloolwhenever "hene\ "hene hene "heneer 'sheneier sheneier " ' \ er a circus ( ) comes Cmes to town townand townand towand and sells smoked glasses duiireclipses durin durineclipses eclIpses o of tie t 1e vie sun sun000 sun000 -000- 000 000Do - - 000Do oOo - - Do sou you ou think thmh kissing hissing is uihealthy'1 uihealthy1 uihealthy'1li un unhealthy unhealthy healthy ? ' ' li It would be right nght now M Mhusband Khusband husband Is looking loohlng --QUO-- QUO QUOnd - - - - Ind \nd nd \ % nd so you ) ou OUI vant cant \I I \ , ant to become be become become come my son snn in m Iiw hw law ch eh ' " remirked re rem'Uked remarked m'Uked mUked marked ' a sruff gruff old ecomomi-cil ecomomi cil ecomomt- ecomomt ecomomi- ecomomi ecomomtC'll ecomomical - C'll Cll cal ' ro-ilist ro ilist rorlhst ro3alist } - to the louns young ) oung ican man roan " , 'Not Not "ot ot ' of exactly e\actly e actly evactly ' \ : replied rephed the thebov theboy thebov bov boy ' 'but but ' it If I niarrv marry yourdaughter yourdaughter your daughter I don < iont on t see how I Ican Iran Ican can ran get out of It000 it000 it -000- 000 - 000Judges 000Judges oOo - - Judges are glad to cooperate IIyou If Ifyou Ifyou you drive too fast to save time tImetpey timethey they tpey give you thirty tJurty das days das000 days000 da } s -000- 000 000A - - 000A oOo - - A woman is judged by hercompany hercompany her company after she leaHs000 leases000 leaves leaHs leases -000- 000 -000-- - - 000 000Definition - - - 000DefiDltlOn Definition DefiDltlOn DefinitionOPTIMIST DefiDltlOnOPTIMIST DefinitionOPTIMIST OPTIMIST One Oneho who \\ho ho mho \ takes Efnug a afn afrtir fn frtir l ! g pan along when "ben ben nhen " he goe goes goesfishmg goesfishing ; fishmg000 fishing000 fishing fishmg -000- 000 000Butcper - - oOo 000Butcher - - Butcher Butcper I can cant t give glve } iou ou an ansirore } IT'ore ITore more ' credit sir Your bill is bIgger bIggertI biggeitl tI an a n it should be beCustomer beCustomer beCustomer Customer I know hnow that Jusl Just Justmahe Justmake make mahe it out for forhat \\hat hat "hat What \ " \ it lt should b be beand < and 111 Ill I II pay It000 it it000 -000- 000 --000- - - - oOo - - He Jle lie had a heart of gold a alaugh alaugh alaug-h alaug h laugh - of silver a mine mme of InfonnatlOn information in formation fonnatlOn She had bad dIamond diamondsues diamondc dIamonde e\ e ees sues \ es rub } ) lips bps tetlh teeth of pearLRetneen pearL pearL13etneen eh\cen eh cen 13etneen \ them they ( hcT had twobits two twobIts twobits bIts bItsI bIts000 bits000 -000- 000 000The - - 000The oOo - - I The doctor met Mrs Jones on onthe onthe onthe the street 1 1H H streetH w \V V \ Ie is i " your husbinrt husb'l.ncl husbl.ncl husblncl husband ' . no nov'he novhe v v9 v9he ? ' ' he asked Dl Did " } iou 30u ou gn gis gne e a him tbe the thesleeping thesleeping sleepmg sleeping potion ' ? ' ' Yes she replied rephed You told meto me meto meto to givs gl1l'e gl1le give ' him bins the amount I couldget could couldget couldget get on a quart r but as I didn dldn drdn thave t thave IlJave have any I used tvcnti tucnt3 t\cnt t cnt ' \ * fi\e fi e fhe fife \ pen penmes penflies penmes mes flies and he hes s been asleep now for forfour forfour forfour four days000 days000 days -000- 000 -000-- 000And - - 000And oOo oOoAnd - - - And the dwarf d"arf darf dart " went "ent ent 'sent sent " ' Into theund-rtakmg theund rtakmg the theundert'lkmg theandrtakmg undert'lkmg undertlkmg and-rtakmg and rtakmg - ' parloi parlol parlor and ordered orderea d a dshort ashort dshort short b er er000 er000 -000- 000 000Dector - - 000Doctor oOo oOoDoctor - - Doctor Dector Mv dear sir nothmg nothing nothmgbut nothingbut nothingaut yourI but an operation " will "Ill Ill sill save your yourlife yourlife yourlife yourlifePatient I life lifePatient Patient What will "m m 'sill sill " ' it cosfAbout cost ' About five hundred dollarsBut dollars dollarsBut dollarsBut But I have only a hundreddol hundred hundreddol hundreddol dol ars arsIn In that case let lets s seehat see seewhatpills \\hat hat 'a a \ ' -whatpills whatpills - hatpills hat hatpills pills 's s " ' will "iI1 iI1 ill do000 do000 do -000- 000 -000--- 000"Den 000When oOo oOoWhen - - - - - - When "Den Den " tie tl t1 e absent mmded minded mmdedprofesol mindedprofes mindedprofts profes-ol profes ol profes . - oi or started off on a triphis trIP trIPhIS triphis hIS wife mfe gwe ga\e ga e gate \ him three um umbrellas um- um umI umbrellas - I brellas one to leave in 1Z1 thestation the thestatIon thestation statIon one to be left Icft on thetrain the thetram thetrain tram train and the third one m in mcase incase incase case it . rained .amed amed ramed .amed000 ramed000 -000- 000 000Lena - - 000Lena oOo oOoLena - Lena Genster cat's cats ca ea ' s she lust Just loves lovesto lovesto loveso to ; see fat people laugh becausethere becaus because becausethere there s so w much of them having haVlng atime a atime atime time time000 time000 ' -000- 000 000A - - 000A oOo - A gentleman had completed his hisi hispurchase hispurchase i . purchase and the clerk c1erh in 111 filllng filling fillingout fillingout out the sales slip asked Dsked askedhatls V \ , \\hatls hatls \ hat fiat hatis fiatis is the name please ? Jepson replied our hero heroCblpson heroChipson Chipson Cblpson ? No Jepson Sixteen twenty t\\enty t enty \ oneWest one oneWest oneWest West - pleaseOr Your first initial pl-ase pl ase please plaseOt - Ot- Ot Or OtK - Ko KO K 0 o K JepsonE1I.cuse JepsonExcuse Jepson JepsonExcuse . Excuse E1I.cuse E1Icuse me it Isn ism isnt t 0 O K You YouI Youdrdn Youdidnt I dldn drdn t understand I said Oh OhO JepsonI - 0 O Jepson JepsonNo JepsonNo JepsonNo I No Rub out the 0 O and let theK th the theK K standThe stand standThe standThe The haggard'W1lI clerk began to look haggard Will 'W1lI W1lI ' y ; ou please give me your yourinitial yourinitial yourmitIa mitIa initial ! again ? I said KPardon KPardon K KPardon Pardon you said 0 O KI KI K I said Oh - Just JllSt now you said K KAJo KA.10 KA AJo A.10 A10 A . lo v n 11 i e to finish I said Ohbecause Oh Ohbec.1use Ohbecause bec.1use bec1use because . I dldn drdn didnt t understand what whatyoU whatyou whatyou yoU " were "ere ere ere asking me I dldn drdn didnt t mean It meanit wis W'1.S W1.S W1S was ' . my initial My name is Kirby IsKirby JepsonNo JepsonNo Jepson JepsonNo No ! Not 0 O but K Hcr Her " ' ' > give giveme giveme giveme me the pencil and III 111 Ill write wnte It myself my myself self There I guess its it s 0 O K Know Knowh now h ' " . | Cooking destroys vitamin Vltamm c It is leported reported almost a1most Imposslb1t impossible impossibleto : to find a hummm humming bird birds s nestLondons nest nestLondon London Londons Lond n s population has dlopped diopped dioppedISaOOO 18 180000 : . 000 in 111 the tlIe last 12 years yearsChinese ) eais ealS eaisChinese Chinese Chmese have used castel caster oil 011 asa as asa asa I a food for over a centuryFinished centuiy centulY century centuiyFinished Finished FlmshEd cement cem1nt ! is screened screenedthrough screenedthrough screenecthrough through a mesh so fine that it it'sill iwill 'sill sill \ ' 111 retain reta111 "a a seaterTne " water seater waterTne ter Tne barking of a dog en on thground the theground theground ground can be heard at an altitudof altitude altitudeof of a mile and one tenthInterference tenth tenthInterfeience Interfeience Interference Interfel ence \ with seith 1th a childs child s be bellef belief belief llef lief in Santa Claus is forbidden forbiddenby foi fOl bidden biddenby biddenby by la 1a sae i \ in m mani man } states statesIn statesIn In the United Umted States 1923 "as as nas "asthe nasthe " athe the piano industry industr s most profitable profit profitable profitable able searIt sear searIt ear It is easier to memonze memOllze memoirze mater materlal material materlal lal ial j ist 1St before going gomg to sleep and andsubjects andsubjects amsubjects subjects memorized at that ( hat timwill tlme time tlme111 time'sill \\111 111 'sill sill \ ' be retained retamed longei longel longer longeiA longerA A hurricane hurncane may bend coconutrees COCOIlUt coconut COCOIlUttrees coconuttrees trees until the tops touch the theground theground thground ground but ths the trees treesill treesHll \\ill ill \Hll Hll \ \ rll never neversnap nevesnap snap off ' I The president and his fan family familyiun familyiun lY lun iun a } yearly early laundry bill of < 5C00Several 5C03 5COJ 5C00 5C03Several : Several hundred hundre pupils uPlls in m Lor Lorden Lordon Lordens den don s public schools scbools have onltour onltourftasli on1y only on1yI on1yfour onlyfour four -ftasli ftasli 'sash sash - \ ' ash basins and two tseo t " 0 rolletowels roller rollertowels rollertowels towels to use keeping themsehe tbemse1\ tbemse1 tbemse1es themselses themselsesclean \ es . clean ssI I About 200 American can busm busin businessfi ss ssfi ssfi fi ms incorporated mcorporated m in China Chma for foreastern foreastern foreastern eastern commelceeent commeicee commelcee vent \\ent ent esent \ bankrupt bankruptin In 1935 1935The - : The Tbe brother of Christoche Christother Christorher ChristotherColumbus ChristorherColumbus : ; Columbus established establlshed the earllest earliest earllestAmellcan earliestAmerican earliesAmencan I Amellcan American c01 colony ny at Costa Rica in ii1509 150 ? Columbus left him to settle settlethe settlethe settlithe the new land 1 ! ' . tine .me me , ine women "amen amen somen " out of ten "ear ear 'sear sear "earell 'searcilk " ' veasilk ell cilk I . stockings stochmgs " ' wiong "long long 'siong siong side cut be because because because cause the outside sbmesI shinesBecause shines sbmes shinesB'cause I - B'cause Bcause Because ' the city has mamtainea mamtamed mamtameda a bear pit since smce ancr'nt ancrnt ancpnt ancient ' timeBprp times timesBprr timesBerri ! , Bprr Berri > S vitzerland vltzerland is known as th thCity the theI thecIty theCity I City of Bears |