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Show SEEwo SEEwoHEARD SEEN nEAIIDC HEARDMAIN HEARD nEAIID -C C - < > ' - " - 'MAIN MAIN ' MAIN STREET STDEET STREETDefinition TIIEET { I IDefinition r DefimhonBIAUTY Definitionr DefinitionBEAUTY Definition Defimhon DefinitionBEAUTY BEAUTY BIAUTY : : CLAY The ground inwhich in inll1Ch inwhich \\ll1Ch ll1Ch which \ \ aoman a \ woman \\oman oman tiles tries to bury her herpast herpast herpast past pastI pastrvery . . I Fvery rvery mimed nnrrled married man saS sass sa } ) s D\d D Did DdI DdGummlt DidGummit DidGummit ' \ Gummlt Gummit is convinced Cln\mced Cln mced coniinced ( \ that he he"oud hewould hewould I "oud oud would " ! have bern been rich it he lie had hadI hadrcm1mrd hadremiined hadrenninrcl rcm1mrd remiined i a ' \ bachelor bacbeJor bachelorS I . . . . S.e'tkmg S.etkmg Setkmg Sieiluig Si S . eikmg eiluig ' of Brides Dad s'tYs stYs says s'tYsthat saysthat siysthat ' I IS.e'tkmg that dishwater dlsh\\ater dlsh ater \ \ Is about the onlyI onlythmg cnlything only cnly I | thing thmg that111 that \ will \\111 111 cause the weddmg wedding weddmgring weddingring weddingring ring to lose its fa fascination cinatlOn . . S . e . eImagine Imagine the bc best t man gct get gcttmg gettmg getting- getting gettinga tmg - a black eye just for kis kl kiss kissmg > sing s smg mg the bride But it happened happenedtn happenedtwo happenedtwo tn two 0 years year after the \ wedding eddmg . . . . Bude Bade Why Wh } did you tell your yourfrIends yourfriends yourfriends frIends you u 11 ii arned armed me because I Iw Iwas w as such a good cooky cook ' ? Why I can cant canteven canteven t teven even cook a potatoGroom potatoGroom potato potatoGroom Groom Well I had to have havesome havesome havesome some reason . . - * . . The groom failed faded to show up upfor upfor upfor for the \ wedding eddmg but "as as was "asthou wasthoughtful " wasthou'htful wasthouhtful thou thoughtful ' htful enough to send hIs hIsregrets hisregrets hisregrets regrets . . . . Advice AdvJee to NewlynedsThe \ Isewlyneds 1\e\llyned 1 e llyned Newlyneds IsewlynedsThe \ I IAdvJee The Bonds of Matrihony don dontamount t tamount tamount amount to much unless the intcrest inter intcr interest est is kept up I upI . . . I Aeek A neck \\eek eek week \ after the welldmg wedding weddingthe I the ( he bride and groom were wereI wereth werethibwangcrockery werethrowing-crocket- werethrowing crocket werethrowingcrocketit th ? - - - -it it \t t - each other otherIt otherIt otherIt thibwang-crockery thibwang crockery l11g- l11g l11gerockel - erockel erockelt ) } ' \ I It Isn isnt t etcrbody eierybody e'er eer ' } ) body who "ho ho " can get getsettled getsettled getsettled settled that quick , . . . . I II I She You don dont t love me any anymore anymore anymore more moreVhen \ When \Vhen Vhen you see me cr crying } mg you } ou oudon oudont don t ask me whyHe \ why whyHe \ hy hyHe He I'm Im mm ' ' a awfully aw \ \ full ; } son-v son v SOITV sorry - dear b t tthose I ; , those questions have already cost costme costme costme me a lot of money . . . . That Feminine Femmine Touch-The Touch The Touch - The wife wifegomg wifegoing wifegomg gomg going through her husbands husband s pock pockets pockets pockets ets for loose changeI changeWarning change . . . I . Warning Warnmg to Fat Women Your Yourhusband Yourhusband yourhusband , husband promised pronused to stick to y ; } ou oufor oufor : for better or 01 ' for \ worse orse but notI notthrough not notthrough through thIc thick ' ; . a.nd and and . . tIm thinThe thin ; I The father of eight never neverwakes neverwakes neverwakes wakes up the baby just to see seeIt seeit seeit It smile slDlle Dad Gun-unit Gun unit GumlUlt Gummit - hasnoted hasnoted has hasnoted noted . . . . The Mountaineer Mountameer and his bnde bride bridewere bridewere were \ ere married mamed marred by mutual consent consentthe consentthe consentthe the mutual consent of her herfatter herfatler herfatr-er herfatr er fatter fatl-er fatl er - - and three husky sonsHe sons . . . . He Iant I \ want \\ant ant \ to tell ten the "hole hole whole wholeworld " wholeworld world \ orld I love y } iouShe au ou auShe ouShe She Too late I ' ' My kid brothersaw brothersaw brother brothersaw saw us . . . . Twehe T'I\ehe T'I TI ehe Twelie ' \ make a dozen aU all aUrIght allright allright rIght but not very many make makea a . million . . . . Lion Tamer I want you twom t\\ t t0 two tmen twomin \ 0 men min n to clean my hon lions s cage One Oneof Oneof Oneof of y } sou OU can clean halt half of it and the other one the other halfWoiker half halfWolker I WOl Wolker Woiker ker Oka Okav Okay V bo--s bo s bo-S bo ' - - - s I III Ill 11 clean cleanthe cleanthe cleanthe the outside halt half | halfI . . . . I Can I give the elephant eJephant a pea peanut peanut peanut nut Daddy ? Yes give him two Businessas Business \\as as was wasgood \ wasgood asgood good this weekTen week | weekI . . . . I Ten prisoners hive h\ve h ve ' \ brokenout brokenout broken out "Did Did 'DId ' " you send Sl'nd Slnd ' tor for the theguard theguard9 I Iguard ; guard ? " No I sent for the ( he do doe doefor dotor < . tor for ( I think thmk they ve ye got the themea themeasles themeasles mea measles les lesI . . . . I A college collcge tieshman fieshman f1e hman hmanas was \\as as \ being beingI beingsevercly beingseverely beingseverely I severcly severely criticized by his professorYour professorYour professor professorYour Your last lu.t lut : . paper85 paper was \\-85 85 \ - very dIm dull dImcult dullcult ditficult cult to lead read said the theprofessor professorYour -professor professor professorI professorYour professorYour - Your Yourork work \\ork ork \ should be so wrltton written wrlttonthat writt'nthat writtnthat ' I Ithat writtenIthat that even the most Ignorant will willbe willbe willbe be able to understand itYes itYes it itYes Yes sn sii u said the student studentWhat studentWhat studentWhat What pirt p'ut put part ' dldn didnt t iou you ou get ? . . . . Somewheie Somewhele Somewhere in Scotland a rector rectorlof rectorHof rectorof lof Hof a country parish pansh " was "as as huntmg hunting huntmgup huntingup huntin ; peopleI up isolated chuich CPulch church peopleCalling people I ' Calling at one cottage he asked askedthe askedthe askedthe the "oman11 " woman "oman oman \11 11 \ who ho came to the door doorif doorif doorif if thelecre theie thele there \ were \\cre cre any .Episcopalians Episcopalians EplscopaJians . ill m illher mher inher her neighboihoodWell l1ElghbOlhoodWen neighbot neighboihood l1ElghbOlhood hood hoodWell Well Wen sir I don dont t rightly kno kno\but kno but \ ; but my husband shot some strange strangecreature strangecreature strangecreature creature the other night mght and hunghio hung hungI hunghi hunghi hi . skin on the barn doer You Youl111'ht Youaught Youmio-ht Youmio ht I l111'ht l111ht aught " ' - take a look at It |