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Show - I ISEEN SEEN SQM lld NERD NERDMAIN HEARD "EAIm EAIm "EAImI " I - ' e > < : > " ? lk - " " MAIN STREETNI STREET STI1EET STREETDefinition NI . . M $ .1 1 . . . Definition DefinitionCONSCIENCE DefinitionCONSCIENCE DefinitionCONSCIENCE CONSCIENCE That still snaalvoice small smallvOice smallvoice vOice that tells us somebody IS ISwatchmg iswatching i ; watching watchmg . * . . . Orhlch Or \ which \\hlch hlch \ hlchlams ' \ warns \lams lams us after ' we 'lie lie ha\e ha e hale haealreadY halealready ha\ ha haalready \ ( ' already done something somethmg somethmgtong wrong \\tong tong \ tongI \ * . * * . I I I1.ou lou 1.ou 1ou . deceived decNved me before ourmarriage our ourmarriage ourmarriage marriage lou 1 . ou said you werewell were werewell well \ ell offI offI off offI I offas was \\as as \ but I didn dldn t know It it . . * . . * . * . Murphy lost his false teeth be becau because because cau cause < : e hisife his ' \ wife \\ife ife found that she could couldshut couldshut coulcshut shut the car door by leaving lea\mg lea mg leasing \ it open op open open en and starting start1I1g startrrig the car suddenly . * . * . . The car salesman promisedto pronusedto pronused promised to put PercyVhnletTee Percy ' \ Whi'TIet-ee Whi'TIet WhiTIet ee \VhnletTee VhnletTee Vhi Tiet ' ' ' - ee s ml mlhals mltails mitials hals tails on the car if heouId he \ would \\ouId ouId buy buyIt buyit buyit It But ' Percy I'erey Ierey said it wasn wasp t the thetrut1'1.1 themitaii ( heuubil trut1'1.1 trut11.1 trut111 mitaii ' . cost that was bothermg bothering bothermghim botheringhim botherinhim ? him * . . . . Dr Alien AUen Allen Your wife v.ife vife . need notworry not notv notworry ' v . worry orry about being a little deafJust deaf deafJust deafJust . Just tell teU her it Is merely mereJy a sign oladvancing of ofadancmg ofadsancmg ad\ancmg ad ancmg adsancmg \ yearsHusband yearsHusband years yearsHusband Husband Doctor would you yoummd youmind youmind mmd mind telling teJJ1ngt " her yourself ? ' . . . . The only place you can see a aehngml aclinging acling'iii aclingiii ehngml clinging ' ; : " ! ' girl glrJ any more MSDad says saysDad 'JS JS 'JSDad ' } ) Dad Gummit Gumnut Gunrmit is on the backof back backof backof of a . motorcycle . . . . Weekly PuzzleWhy PuzzleWhy Puzzle PuzzleWhy Why is it 1t the government for forbids forbids forbids bids lotteries lottenes yet : finances so many manydoubtful manydoubtful manidoubtful doubtful enterprises7 enterprises ? ' . * . * . . While the white .hlte hlte . girls girJs are buyingpermanent buymg buying buymgpermanent buyingpermanent ; permanent waves the dark skinnedones skmned skinned skmnedones skinnedones ones are buying bu mg kink kmh . remover . * . * . * . And now that Mac I\Iae I Iae Mae \ " 1\est 1 est "est Rest \ has hasmade hasmade hasmade made plump girls gITls happy when whenis IS she going gomg to do somethmg something somethingfor somethmgfor for the bow legged9 leggl'li legglli legged ' ? ' . . * . . Sam Ah jes les seen a alligatoieatm all1gator alligator all1gatoreatm alligatoreatrn eatm eatrn our lounges ounges Chile chilel chilelUmm 1 ! 1Umm Umm uh till uhl ' Sho nuff fluff ? You knowAh h.nO\\ h.nO know h.nOAh knowAh . \ Ah thought sumpn surnpn sump n been gettin gettinour gettinour gettinour our chillun chiIlun chillunI ! * . . . . Papa did 2\oah 2 oah Aoah \ oah have a 'Ife Ife wife " ' wife'Certainly wifeCertainly ' ? Certainly Joan of Ark Nowdon Now Nowdon Nowdon ' don t ask ash . any mnre auestions Questions . . . . The red headed girl gul doesntalways doesn t talways talways always marry man- man mana - } ) a quiet fellow lie He lieJUst Hejust Hejust JUst gets that way wayDefinition wayw . . . . DefinlhonSTATESAN DefinitionSTATESMAN Definition Definlhon DefinitionSTATESMAN STATESMAN STATES\AN STATES AN \ [ One . who .ho ho is fanu fanuliar fanuliar fanuliar liar liarith with \\ith ith \ \ all aU public publ1c questions bulseldom but butseldom butseldom ; seldom with the answers ans\\ers ans ers \ \ . . . . What do iou sou ) OU regard as the bestspeech best bestspeech bestspeech speech you ever made ? I haven t any preference an answeled answered answeied sweled swered Senator Sorghum but the theones theones theones ones that afforded me most satis satin satisfaction satinfaction satisfaction faction ' were 'IIere IIere myanou my \ various \anou anou carious , ; speeches speechesof of acceptance acceptancew . acceptanceDefinition w . w . v . vDefinition Definition Defimtion DefinitionTHE DefimtionTIjE DefinitionTFJE I THE TIjE TFJE FEMININE TOUCH A Wifegoing 'IIfe IIfe wife 'IIfegoing wifegoing ' ! going through her husbands husband s pock pocklets pocketa pockets eta for chan change lets tthen "hen hen Ishen " your * . wife starts to totalk totalk totalk talk asked a man of Satsop SatsopCharh SatsopCharli SatsopCharlr Charh Charli ' docs does she know v.nen vnen when v.nento whento . Bento to stop0 stoP ? ' I don t know replied re replIed replied plIed Charlie Charhe 'we we ' ' we have ha\e ha e base \ onlybeen only onlybeen onlybeen been married eight years * . . . . When a . woman v.oman voman refers to her herIlate herlate herlate late husband it doesn doesnt t neccessari neccessariIly neccessarily neccessarily Ilate ly mean that she shes s a 'II II ' widow Idow Ily . . . . PO-MF PO MF PO'tIF POtIF POMFThere PO'tIFThere PO - " ' IF IFThere There s a bright bngbt side to everything everythmg everythingBut everythmgBut everythingBut But it gives glves us no joy soy or funTo fun funTo funTo To see the shine shme upon the suit suittteve suitSave Ult ' "e e " tteve Save ve . worn v.om vom since smce 31 * . * . . 31I . I lone One evenmg e\enmg e enmg esening \ a farmer met a ayoung ayoung ayoung young man ' walking alkmg don do in \n n sn \ the ro road roadwith roadwith d dI dlth I \\lth lth with \ \ a lantern and asked hlID him hlIDhere himwhere himwhere \\here here where ' \ he heas was \\as as \ \ going goingCourtin goingCourtln goingCourtin Courtin Courtln said the loung oung soung ) manCourtm man manCourtm manCourtin Courtm Courtin said the farmer farmerI witha \I I ' \ with Ith Itha a lantern ? I never took a lanternwith Jantern lantern Jantern1th lanternwith \1th 1th with ' \ me . when v.hen vhen I ' went 'IIent IIent court1l1Yeah courtmYeah courtm court1l1 courtmYeah Yeah leplied Ieplied replied the young man manand manand manand and look \ what \ hat you got * . * . * . * . Guest ' " IMio Who ho is that awful a\\ful a ful \ \ look lookm looking looking m ing frump over o'er oer ' there tbere ' ? ' ' Host 1I0 t t11V Why \\11V 11V \ thats that s my wife wifeGuest wifeGuest \ lfe lfeGue Guest Gue t Oh Oh-ir-beg Oh ir beg Oh-er-beg er - ! - er - beg pardon mymistake mymistakeHost my mynustake mymistake nustake mistake mistakeHost ( Host ( sadli sadl3) sadl3 sadl ) ) Iso 2\0 2 0 loo \ no no-mme no mme no-mine mine - - mine |