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Show o 'J J 'Jwvh z1fh1)24 z1fh124 ' : wvh [ ) & about obout aboutThe oboutThe The Drift Dnft ot of Scotland . SANTA CALIF.C CALIFC OANTA MONICA MONICA , , CALIF CALIFSo CALIFSo . , -So So --So - So - - high an authorityas authority as asthe asthe the Associated Press gives givesout givesout out a dispatchstating dispatch stating that thatScotland thatScotland thatScotland Scotland is drifting towardAmerica toward towardAmerica towardAmerica America at the rate of eight eightfeet eightfeet eightfeet feet a year . This would be an excuse for the theunthoughted theunthoughted unthoughted to say that the Scots Scotsalways Scotsalways Scotsalways always had a reputation tor for belI1g being belI1gclose beingclose beingclose close and now are becoming becommg stiU still stiUcloser stillcloser stillcloser closer . _ To me , , though , themain themam the main mam question i 5whether swhether s 5 whether Scotland IS ISgomg isgoing ' gomg going to bring brmg Eng England England England land along with WJth herAmong her ? ' 4 . . - 9ff 9ffat / Among themselvesat themselves s sat " ' \at at \ at least , the Scotshave Scotsy Scotshave Scots S vhave y have always had thereputation the gp _ reputation of bring bringa bringalong bring brillg 't t ' , % % h a ing 109 mg England Englaud Englandcentu along alongy ' -y y - / through < hrnnph the fhf > centn centu 1 , ; ' SSWs SSWsdon't 11 < ' . , WI ! rles ries . And If ii you you'L -'L 'L L 'Ldon.t - ' - - don't dont don.t ' . believe beheve it ask Inm Irvin in in S . Cobbany Cobb Cobbany Cobbany any true Scot H Hestands e estands estands stands supportmgd3tes ready to offer supportmg supportin supportindates supportingdates g d3tes dates , names and statisticsBy statistics . By the way , , ' I've Ive ' noticed one out outstandmg outstanding outstanding standmg standing difference between the h.o ho h.ogreatest ts t\-ogreatest t ogreatest \ - . , 0 greatest groups of the Celtic race raceTo rac racTo raceTo e To an Irishman's Irishmans ' ' face you can Joke Jokeabout jok jokabout jokeabout ee e about Ireland and he remains remams calm calmBut calmBut calmBut But poke fun at 3t an individual 1l1dlViduai Irish Insh- Insh Inshman Irishman Irishman - man and you are hunting huntmg for trou trou- trouble tro troble trouble u - ble - - - and probably will soon be behuntmg b bhunting behunting e huntmg hunting for a doctor . Inversely yoU yoUmay yo yomay youmay u may jibe a 3 Scot and get away wIth wIthIt vnt v/ithit v ithit / h It But just say the least httle lIttle tittle thin thinm thmg thmgm thingin hg g m derision derISJOn of his native land and andyou'd an anyou'd andyou'd andyoud d you'd youd ' ' better start running . . . S . . So-CalIed So CalIed So-Called Called - - Modern Art Art.T ArtT . . I IGUESS GUESS I must belong to a mostancIent mo moancient most st ancient specles-mdeed specles mdeed species-indeed species indeed species - indeed , , an aI- aI aIalmost a aalmost al-almost al almost 1 ' - trueI'm trueIm almost vanished varnshed species It's Its ' true tr trI'm ue I'm Im ' ' not quite old enough to re- re remember r re remember : - member when they shot Indians Indian Indianswhere Indianwhere Indianswhere s where the city CJty ha hall ] ] now stands and a aPeggy ri rid d Peggy andPeggy calledLove Hopkms Hopkins Joyce was called ca-lie ca lie - d Love Apples But I do date backwhere back to towhere towhere where a painting paIntmg was expected , , re- re remotely r re remotely e , - mote motely ] } , , at least , to resembleabject resemble the theobJect theobject obJect abject it Jt purported to represent representI I lived through the early stag stages stagesof stagesof es of the artistic revolt-PrImItIves revolt PrImItIves revolt-primitive primitive revolt - primitivesultramodernistics : , , ultramodermshcs ultramodernistics , post impression ImpressIOn- impressio ImpressIOnJSts impressiofists impressionists n . - ists JSts fists , cubists , dadaists and so on- on onwIthout on onwithout - - - without ever becoming becommg reconciled reconci reconciledto ed to the prevalent idea Jdea that a ca cavas can canvas canvas n vas apparently depicting deplctmg a btmdle btmdleof bond bundleof le of laths coming undone was wns sup sup- supposed supposed su p - ' posed to be a nude lady's ladys ' portra portrait portraitor l t , , or that a 3 spirited rendition ofyellow of a ayellow ayellow atit yellow cat having havmg an epileptic fit tit fitm fitin m in a mess of tomato soup was an anItalIan titan anItalian ItalIan sunset sunsetLately Lately ' I've Ive ' seen examples of the thelatest ti thelatest ane latest schoolthe school -the the - the surreahstlc surrealist surreahstlcschool surrealisticschool e school . . , And if J i1 ! the practitioners of ai ofthIS ofthis thIS form of beauty are artists artist artiststhen s , then ' I'm Im ' ' a } kind .find find . faced old Swi SWISS SWISSwatch Swisswatch ss watch mender . , They're Theyre ' actually actuallygIVIng actuallygiving actual actualgiving y gIVIng certain certam of these genIuses genIusesmedals genius geniusmedals geniusesmedals es medals What they ought to give gi ve ' give'em giveem ' 'em em is JS something for their respec respec- respe C - . tive rive respective livers . , . . I . IUncle Uncle Sam the Spendthrift Spcndthr t . WELL rTTTTTT . , we . . were good fellow fello fellowhile H , yy ew while we had It it , , weren't werent ' ' w we ? , We destroyed our forests Res ResUp Result ult : : Up water coursesWe courses coursesWe We indulged mdulged in lD ui an orgy ofcalled of so- so sa socalled so-called so called - - called called"reclamation "reclamation reclamation " " schemes to todram t todrain o dram drain unneeded swamplands , there therc- therc thercby the theby thereby tC - by destroying destroymg the breeding breedmg grotmds grotmdsand group groundsand and the natural resting restmg places of ofemlgratmg ofemigrating emlgratmg emigrating wild fowl so that the theonce ti tionce theonce e once vast flocks are gone , probably probablyforever probab probablyforever ly forever . , We wasted our heritage herJtage of wIld wIldgame wildgame vi Id game , formerly a great factor In m Infood infood food supply aside from being bemg a asource asource sa source of healthful joy to gunners gunner gunnersWe gunnersWe We needlessly polluted our streamsBut strea streams streamsBut ms But we're were ' a resourceful race , , give giveus gi gius giveus ve us credit for that . Now , , through throughspeed throe throespeed throughspeed gh speed madness and drunken drlvmg driving drivingwe're drivingwe're drivingwere ghn , , we're were ' preying preymg merrily on human humanl humane hum humanlife a : n l life e . It's Its ' getting gettmg so that the citizen citizenwho citiz citizwho citizenwho en who insists mSlsts on dying dymg a 3 natu natural naturaldeath naturaldeath rat death , , instead mstead of waiting for some somemad somemad so me mad wag of a road hog to mow him himdown hi himdown down , can be regarded only as asspoilsport a aspOIlsport aspoilsport spOIlsport , . . . . Cruelty to Wild L Life c . S SOME1 COME1IMES OMETIIIIS OME1 IMIS : ) ; women are almostas aim aimas almost ost as inconsistent as mcn-v.hlch mcnv.hlch mcn v.hlch vhlch mcnv.hlchJS men-whi men whi men - . whichis ch JS is a [ frightful rightful indictment mdlctment to brmg brmgagamst bra bringagamst fig agamst against any scxAs sex scx ' As a 3 boy , , I remember being bcmg se sevcrcly severely vcrcly vrely lectured by a 3 lady for robbmg robbmgbIrds rabbi robbingbirds seg sefig : g bIrds ' nests- nests nestsa nests - a lady whose nodding noddinghat noddi noddihat noddinghat fig figur hat was tvas crowned with at least lenst four foursturred fo fourstuffed ur sturred stuffed meadowlarks mead-owlarhs mead owlarhs meadowlarksA meadowlarhsA - A few } years cars ago ngo , , I saw women womenpromInent worn womenprominent enfits en promInent m in humane movements movementsand moveme movementsand fits and good deeds , like line that wom womof woman womanof womanof of tho the Scriptures ScrJptures who was called calledDorcassaw call callDorcassaw calledDorcas ed Dorcas-saw Dorcas saw - saw these women wear wearii wearmg wearmgthe wearingthe Ing the smuggled and 3nd forbidden forbiddenen ai- ai ii- ii aigrettes ai aigrettes - grettes of the snowy heron , even eventhough eV eventhough enIat en though they must have known Ulat Ulateach th that thateach Iat each pitiable feathered wisp meant mea meanta at a cruel murder and nnd a brood of fled fledg fledglIngs flcdfilings lIngs rings left to starve I still sec see these these31grettes the theseaigrettes 31grettes aigrettes being bemg worn-agamst worn agamst worn-against against wornagainstlaw worn - - against the the1aw thelaw 1aw law of the land and the greater reatcr law lawof 1 lawof ate of common humuutyAnd humanity humuuty humanityAnd : And only lately , , at a meeting meetmg W WfOI tof fOI foisvard 01 ward the prevention of cruelty cruel crueltyto ty to dumb beasts , , . I saw women womenswathed worn womenswathed ' n swathed to their cariobes earlobes in m fussmink tuis fUlS fuss ofad of ofmmk ofmink mmk mink and nnd otter . Seemingly they U1.y U1y thcY ( . had hadforgotten Ii hadforgotten ad adse forgotten tYbt tnat tat the animals ammals whose whosepelts who whosepelts se pelts they wore had died in m steel steeltraps st steeltraps eel eelfie traps by slow degrees of mfinlle mfinlletorture infinitetorture infin infintorture fie fiee torture Or maybe they didn't didnt ' care careIRVIN ca caIRVIN careIKVINJi r e IRVIN s . . COBB- COBB COBBI.nvrl COBB . - I.nvrl Invrl lnnvrl l ' + nnvrl . 'ht ht 'htv.u ah ' t t1V -1V 1V _ - \v\.u v.u v .u u \ 1 ' \ . it nrvlM rvl _ |