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Show l1i- l1i l1iAST } iJ ; - . 3.CoM 3CoM AST3.CoM 3.CoM:4Ln .CtL CtL . . AST : MW MW3zImJ : 3zImJ :4Ln 4Ln , ) aboutPraising CLhcYLEtPraising about alJa CLhcYLEt t Praising California CaHrornla . , . HERNALIS VERNALIS IrRNALIS , , CALIF-They CALIF They CALIFTheyused CALIF - Theyused , used to say that Californiaflowers Cahforma California Cahformaflowers Californiaflowers flowers had no real smell , , and andthat andthat andthat that California Cahfornia birds hadno had no nosongand nosongand noi song-and song and song - and that's thats ' ' a lie he becausethe because becausethe becausethe the resident mocking bird fcels feels fcelsIt feelsit feelsit It his Christian duty to get rightunder right rightunder rightunder under my bedroom window and andsing andsing andsing sing allnightand allnight all night-and night and night and - and that Cali CalI- CalIfornia California California - fornia grown foods hadno had noflavor noflavor no flavor . It's Its ' ' true California CalIforma still stH ! produces producesone one pear which suggests a low lowgrade lowgrade lowgrade grade of damp cot cotton cotton cotton ton batting , , . and onevarIety oner onevariety one ? r variety of fig WhIChcould v/hich v hich WhICh / Icould 'A- 'A A I 'Ar 'Acould ' - < r -could could - , could pas Pasofor paso . for IIbrary IIa h II a / ? 6 6brary brary paste , and ac a { " " . c certain e r tal n tropicalpaw tropicalpawpaw tropical ' y paw pawpaw ypawpaw paw wluchmakes whichmakes which wluch | - Aj | - " * - ' " ' ' - makes you thinkyou think | < you ve ye been hcltmgpostage lickingpostage licking hcltmg JL JLthere's 7 a postage stamps And Andthere's ? , there's theres ' a specIalbreed special | , , breed of mushroomsWhICh mushroomswhich mushrooms | "y y " , which is about theSIze thesize the L size of a derby hat IrvlD Irvin irvinS.Cobb irvinSCobb irvinS.Cobband S . Cobband Cobb Cobband and tastes like oneBut oneBut one oneBut But we can grow grew apricots andcherries and andcherrIes andcherries cherrIes and nectarines and peaches peachesas as toothsome as you'd youd ' ask ash for ; and andnoble andnoble andnoble noble berries and luscious prunes prunesand prunesand prunesand and delectable grapes , and . , on thisgreat thIS thISgreat thisgreat great ranch , about the finest melons mel mel- melons melons - ons I ever ate There's Theres ' likewise a ared ared ared red onion omon which has a taste aU all allrighteat aUrIghteat allright rIght-eat rIght eat - - eat it raw and you taste it itfor itfor itfor for days and daysAnd daysAnd days daysAnd And it if ti you think thmk our flowers don'tsmell don't dont don'tsmell don'tsmell dontsmell ' smell enough , , try our politics pohtlcs . . . . e . eTroubles Troubles of a Pioneer . . BIFE LIFE IFE in 10 these parts is just onething one oneth10g onething th10g thing after another , , and sometunes some some- sometunes sometimes - - times tunes ' it's its ' ' several things thmgs after another an- an another an another - other , all at once-such once such once - - such as the rush rushof rushof rushof of the autograph collectors upon a apoor apoor apoor poor , , shy movie star , , or the yelpmg yelp yelp- yelpmg yelping - ing mg onslaught of our estate beagleswhen beagles beagleswhen beagleswhen when a visiting vlsltmg nobleman nobl'man noblman ( ' incau incau- - incautIously incautiously incautiously - tiously intimates that he hp ' mightsoil might mightsoil soil oll his lus trailer and buy a lotBut lotBut lot lotBut But complications comphcabons also pile up for fora fora fora a life long resident who has been beenhere beenhere beenhere here , as I have , nearly two years yearsnow yearsnow yearsnow now and so is qualified to join Jom the theEarly theEarly theEarly Early Pioneers ' California socIety society.Here societyHere . . Here I go ar and an.d . d take on a radio pro programand programand program gram-and gram and - and I did so hope to fly eastto east eastto eastto to see what wh.at . Mrs Harnson HarrIson Williamswill WIllIams WIllIamsWIll Williamswill WIll be wearing wearmg this fall At tunes times tunesthe timesthe tunesthe the temptation just lust to drop every every- everythmg everything everything - thing thmg and start has been well mgh nigh nighoverpowering mghoverpowerlOg nighoverpowering overpowerlOg overpowering . . . Reducing Motor Accidents Accidents.TX7 AccidentsTX7 . WE'RE WERE startingVV E'RE ERE ' great people at startmg starting startmgsomethmg startingsomething something somethmg , but , , just then then thenalong , , along comes a new crusade or a anew anew anew new movement or a new Dew , style in divided dI- dI dIvIded di divided - vided skirts and we trail off after afterthat afterthat afterthat that , , forgettmg forgetting the issue which had hadseemed hadseemed hadseemed seemed so paSSlona passionately tely lmportanlLast important lmportanl importantLast . Last January we were all enlisting enlist enlIst- enlIstIng enlisting - ing to make mahe 1936 a safer year on onthe onthe onthe the highroad With the year nearlythree nearly nearlythree nearlythree three fourths gone , what have we wedone wedone done to reduce the appalling mor- mor mortality mortality mor-tality7 mor tality7 - tality ? ' And what are we going gomg to do dobefore dobefore dobefore before all of us , , . except the idiotsand idIOts idiotsand and drunkards , , who are supposed tobe to tobe tobe be the special ward of provIdence providencehave , have been mowed down7 down down7Fm ? Fm rm I'm Im ' reminded remmded of the colored man manin manin I In ' ' Mississippi who was convicted convictedot convictedof of murder , , and bis hIS lawyer forgot forgotto forgotto . , to file an appeal , , and finally thecondemned the thecondemned condemned man sat down and wrote wrotethis wrotethis this letter . "Dear Dear " Guvnor . , Please Pleasesub , sub , , I is on the middle of at a purtIcu- purtIcu purtIcular purticular purticu-lar purticu lar - lar fix and onlessen you do some- some somethm somethin some-thin some thin - thm thin ' ' right away , they hang meFridayhere me meFrIdayhere meFriday ' ' already alreadyl al- al alreadyl FrIday-here FrIday here - here 'tis tis Wednesday - readyl ready 1 " * . e . . Saving Savmg Your Teeth . HOUGH thy teeth be but state state- stateI stately stately stately - I THOUGH H ly rums , with English ivy growing grow grow- growing growing - ing all over them and bullbats nest nest- nestmg nesting nesting - ing mg m in the hollows , fight off tor for as aslong aslong aslong long as possible those thosewho ' ' -who who 'Who - think thmh theroot the theroot theroot root of all evil is the bottom of your yourremaining 3 } our ourI ourremaining I remammg remaining bicuspid Don't Dont ' let 'em em 'embe 'embe ' * ' embe be too fast about photographmg photographing photographingyour photographmgyour your jaw either . No man ever yet had an X ray raypIcture raypicture raypicture pIcture that flattered him Particu PartIcu- PartIcularly Particularly Particularly - larly is that true when it's its ' an 10 in 10terlor interror intenor terlor terror view of o1 the human hur.nan hurnan . faceBecause faceBecause face faceBecause Because , , the next thing thmg you hnow know knowa , , a gentleman in 10 m a white smock IS IStestmg istesting istesting testmg testing some forceps and saYIng saying"This sayingThis , , "ThIS ThIS " may hurt-Just hurt Just hurt - just a httle lIttle " And Andthen Andthen Andthen then the next ne"tt nett " thing thmg after that that . , youruppers your youruppers youruppers uppers are as false as Jud&s Juds Judr.s Judrs Judas & . , . I did so and the result . is .is that , nomatter no nomatter nomatter matter what else is on the menu , I Igo Igo Igo go in m for the Cobb pink pmk plate spe- spe special special spe special - cial A fellow does get tired ofhaving of ofhavIng ofhaving havIng everything everytlung he eats taste lIke lIkerubber likerubber likerubber rubber . IRVIN S . , COBB COBBWNU COBBOWNU COBB0 -WNU WNU O-WNU O - - WNU Sorric Sonlce Sorvlce * |