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Show 1 SEEN $ QNcQD EEN Bnd HEARD "aoo aoo "aooI " I QNcQDMAIN - e > o/-i o i / , . - - MAIN STREET STUEET STREETIxpN IxpN , . . w wh h- h hOf " - . - - J ' Of OfDefmitton DefmittonOPTIMISTThe DefinitionOPTIMISTThe Definition Defmitton DefinitionOPTIMIST OPTIMIST-The OPTIMIST The OPTIMISTTheoter OPTIMIST - The \ voter \oter oter oterho \ who \\ho ho de- de demands demands de demands - mands Coolidge economy , , Hoover HoovereffIcIency Hooverefficiency Hooverefficiency effIcIency and Roosevelt Ikose\elt Ikose elt \ relief . . . . , * . . . :4 4 : * . 4- 4 . 44 4One - N 1 . : 4 . One thing thmg : about this thJS business bUSI- bUSI bUSIness busi business - ness of spending spendmg ourselves outof out outof 0 of { the depresswn-it depresswn it depression-it depression depression - it will mil provide pro- pro proIde pro provide - \ vide Ide a ne\ ne never-ending never ending neert'ndang \ er-t'ndang er t'ndang tndang - ' topic of ofccnersataon ofconversation ofcomersation ccn\ersataon ccn ersataon conversation \ ase as \ v\e v e \\e to \ sit en the thepoorhouse thepoorhouse poorhouse ] ! oorhouse porch . . . * * . . . . . N . N . NBut But then et even escn . , en a tombstone w111 vvrll vvrllsay w111Ea willsay Ea EaT say Easomethmg T something somethmg good about a fenow fellow fenowwhen fellowwhen fellowwhen when he hes s down i iDad . . . . . . . . N . NDad . Dad Gumnut Gum.nut : . says he won wonjust \ wonjust \ on onjust just one argument with hasmfe hiswife his has hiswife wife mfe . . That was 20 ) sears years ears ago agowhen , I 'When When ' she was laying laymg a carpet carpetI carpetand carpetand carpetand I and had her mouth full of oflacks I Itacks tacksH tacks II N . H . * * . N . * . * . * . . * . I i Dad says the after-dinner after dinner arter-dmner arter dmner - nap IS hIs ishis favorite iavonte hour of the day . . . Hiswife Hls His Hlsvafe His'wife Hiswife ' vafe wife is 15 the one who takes the nap r . : : . N : t : n t * : t"For tFor "For For " insomnia msomn13 , take a glass glassof glassof glassof of vrine wine at regular mtcnals intervals intervals"the intervalsthe ; , " the doctor told his has patient . . "Itwon't "It It "Itwon't "Itwon't Itwont " won't wont ' make you sleep , but It'll Itll It'llmake it'llmake it'llmake itllmake ' ' make you satisfied sahsfied to stay stayawake stayawake tay taya.wake a.wake awake . . . " N NN NN NN ; : NKing * * N * * * * ; : N * N < : Krug King Walker got such a reputa reputa- - reputation tion toi fOl foi stretching stretchmg the truth in re- re regard regard re-Bard re Bard - gard to his fish , , that he bought a pair apair of ! scales and insisted onweighing on onweighIng onweighing weighIng every fish he caught , in inthe infho the fho ' presence 'presence of a \ witness \ Itness One day dayDr toweigh Dr , Alien Allen borrowed borro\\ed borro ed borrotived \ the scales to weigh a ncw- ncw new-born new born ncwom - om baby The baby weighed \Velghed Velghed \eighed eighed babyweighed babyVelghed babyeighed \ 27 pounds poundsN N ; : : tt : u t , FISHERbyANITo's THE TilE FISHER1\IAN FISHER1 IAN FISHERbyAN FISHERMANWhos \ 'rho's rhos ITo's ITos ' ' ' the the- thestranger ' - stranger , . mother dear dear9 ? ' ' queer'Hush queerHush dear'Look dearLook dear9Look Look , he J knows nows U Ul Uam't us ui > l 1 , 1ain't ain't aint am't amt ' he queer ? " ' ' Hush , tay my child . , , don't dont ' ' talk so wild ; ; H'e's Hes , ' Hes He's child.Hes childHes ' your father , , dearestchild dearest child . . thing'Father thingFather He's Hes ' myl m my father ? No such tbmg thing ' Father diefl dIea died away last sprang spring . "Father Father " spring.Tather springTather didn't didnt ' die die . , you dub , , dubFather F club.But clubBut th Sr < : r joined JQmed JOmed tll tlw the 1 ' fishing fishang club . . Dut But DOIV non novti the season's seasons eason'b easonb ' , closed , so he hews heJIas heSias JIas ) Sias no place to goy go " , you see ; Ko No place aee ! Jeft left tof tor for ' him to roam oaI " ; That's Thats ' ' why Daddy's Daddys ' coming home . . .x x .B B . : ; * him-he him he hm-he hm ' - won't wont blte bite childAU you you u , chlld child AU .All All . , ' ' , those fishingIYs fishingu fishing & " \ guys \IYs IYs look wild . . U 1 * t : : : : U : : UMany Many a ' ' woman's womans idea ot of economy ofeconomy oteconomy , S3)S S3S says aa ) s Dad Gummit , Is 11 Ip > is5 IsIp husbanddoesn't de dcctda decade ade < : that her husband husbanda doesn't doesnt ' n feed d any new clothes ' " , a.fter after a . eraU gll 1L . 1LI u n u a U I .Percy Percy Iercy U.Percy uIercy .PercyVh1tIletree . Sf07 ? . \Vh1tIletree Vh1tIletree ZVhiffletree \ tree says his son's sons son'san sonsan ' son'saverage son'sII II average 30and ? income mc is betvsecn bet\\ccn bet ccn between \ 2 30 and 4 a . m mn : n * : u : * : * : : Do % I L bore ? you , , ' " asked Mked the e mo- mo - Equiro squito moEquiro mosquito ? mi Pshaft deep.shaft deepshaft .shaft shaft . Iffiff1 moIffiff1 Olitely politely ? , ' as hc he sank anl n a deep t into , the p1an : mans ans S le leg g "Not Not INot leg"Not leINo INog " INo t at al1 all ! ! " replied the man . , smashing smaslung the mosquito gently over overthe overthe I Ismaslung the head with a book "And And " , , bythe by bythe the wa way ' , how do I 1 strike stnke you ? " : ? ; ; : ; ? : u 22 22Definition * DefinitionCLASSICSBooks DefinitionCLASSICSBooks Definition DefinitionCLASSICS CLASSICS-Books CLASSICS Books CLASSICS - - Books Also AIso a pel- pel per- per perfectly pelfectly pei-fectly pei fectly - fectly safe ' place 'Place to hide somethingyou somethingyou something somethingyou somethingI you don dont t 1 ; waMn " want "ant ant tnt the family to readM read M * * N NN NN NDefinition * N : : : I N * * DefimtlonOLD DefinitionOLD Definition Defimtlon DefinitionOLD I IDefimtlon OLD TIMER--One TIMER One TIMEROneho TIMER - - - One , who \ho ho \ can re- re reI remember re-1 re 1 - I member ' 'away away ' away backhen back " , - when -hen hen " Presi Presi- President President President - dent Roosevelt criticized cnticlZed Hooverfor Hooverfor Hoover Hooverfor for governmental extravaganceH e extravaganceN extravaganceTHE e\tra\agance e tra agance .tra\agance .traagance .tra extravagance \ > . \ * * * * N : H : * u uTHE 4 4THE THE ENGLISHMAN went bald baldand baldand baldand and spent a fortune on hair restorer re- re restorer re restorer - storer storerTHE THE SCOTCHMAN went baldand bald baldand baldand and sold his brush and comb combft N NIf ft : { : { : : If the tbe shoe fits fits . , , just put it on onhubby's onhubby's onhubby's onhubbys hubby's hubbys ' ' charge account . , . * . * . * * * .N N : : : : - N NThis < * This Often Works WorksWife WorksWife WorksWife another'new Wife ' " 'Mrs Mrs ' Jones has another anothernew anothernew 'new new ' new hat " attractive attradlve Hubby ' 'Well Well 'Wen Wen ' Well if she were as at- at at - tractive tradlve as you } ou are , my dear , she'ouldnt she sheouldn sheivouldnt \\ouldn ouldn 'ouldnt ouldnt \ ' \ t ha\e ha e have \ to depend so much muchuon muchupon muchupon uon upon ; the milliner mlllmer " I |