Show 4 t i J r T I. 1 0 rI r T- T 5 I I I Strictly Bl Business Business' b o b o By O. O O. O Henry Henr II I Copyright 1920 by Doubleday Pago Page Co published by special arrange arrange- men ment- ment with wJk the Wheeler heeler Syndicate I Inc I J i I I 1 suppose you ou know all al about the j s st stage tage and ant stage You Youve You've ve been I i t touched with and you wih and by actors i r road read the newspaper criticisms and the the Jokes okes J in the weeklies about the and a ah nd the chorus girls gins and the long h laired haired tragedians And 1 I suppose that thata thaU 1 I I a condensed list ot of your ideas Ideal about I the he t mysterious would boll stag land bol I d down own to lo something like this I Leading have five husbands paste p aste diamonds and figures no bet better r t than han your own madam If they weren't t l padded added Chorus girls gins are arc inseparable from Crom f rom peroxide and Pittsburg All Al shows walk walt back to New York on t tan an oxford and railroad ties tics Irreproachable Irre- Irre actresses reserve the tho comic landlady l part parl for their mothes on Boadway and their aunts step on the road Kyrle Bellew's real name is Boyle O OKeley Kelley The Tho ho ravings of John McCullough McCulough In the phonograph were stolen from the first sale saie of ot the Ellen lillen Elen Terry memoirs Joe Weber Is funnier than E E. I. I II Sothern but Henry Miller Mier Is getting ol older er than he was All AU theatrical people on leaving the theatre at night drink champagne and eat lobsters until noon tho tile next ne-ct day After all al the moving pictures have hae got the whole bunch pounded to a pulp Now few of us know the real life of ol the stage people I If Jf we did the pro pro- might be he more overcrowded than it is We Ve look askance at the players with wih an eye eje full rul of patronizing superiority superiority and and we go homo home and tice all aU sorts of and gestures I In front of our looking glass Latterly there has been much talk of 01 the actor people in a new light It 11 I seems t tb have been divulged that In Instead in- in stead stend of being motoring bacchanalians tat 0 and diamond hungry they an are S businesslike folk students and ascetics 3 with childer and homes and libraries S owning real estate an and conducting r their heir private affairs in as orderly and ane 3 1 a manne ras any of aneS U us s good citizens who are arc bound to the thi S harlot chariot wheels of the gas gasP rent coal ice ce and Whether the old or the new report t of f the sock and be the trU true e S one ne Is a surmise that has no place e here I 1 offer you merely this little e story of two strollers and for lor proof r of t its truth I can shoW v you ou only the thi S dark patch above the cast cant Iron handle handi S of the stage entrance calt door of 5 old old ld vaudeville theatre made there b by m the petulant push of gloved hands to too 0 impatient to finger the clumsy thumb and latch atch and where I last saw Cherry Cherr Cherr y whisking through like a a. swallow into lot 0 her ler nest on time to the minute a as S usual to dress for her act The vaudeville team of Hart Hat and ani it Cerry Cherry was an inspiration Bob Hart liar t tn had been roaming through the Eastern Easter n and Western circuits for four years year S with a mixed up act comprising a monologue three lg lightning changes change 5 with songs a couple of of imitations 1 i celebrated Imitators and a buck and an d wing dance that had drawn a glance c of f approval from the bass bas viol players i in n more than one house than house than which a no 0 performer ever received more tory ory evidence of good work The greatest treat an actor can have hay haves e is s to witness the pitiful performance e with wih which all al other actors desecrate e the he stage In order to give himself r this pleasure he will 1 o often forsake himsel the th e sunniest Broadway O corner e between betwee a Thirty fourth fourth ThirY-fourth and fourth Forty-fourth to at attend at- at tend end a matinee offering by his les less a glUed brothers Once during the life time of a minstrel joke one comes t to 0 scoff and remains to go through with wih wit h that most difficult exercise of Thespian Thes Thes- I- I pian nan pian muscles the muscles the audible contact c of if the palm of one hand against the palm pals m n of the other One afternoon Bob Dab Hart presented presente d his solvent serious well wel known know 0 face at the box of office fic e Window v of a rival attraction and gc got it his liis d d. d h h. h coupon for an orchestra seat sea t A A. A B B. B C and D glowed successively y on the announcement spaces an and d p passed into oblivion each plunging g Mr r Hart lart deeper into gloom Others of f the audience shrieked squirmed squIred whis whis- 3 tIed ted and applauded but Bob Hart All Al A 11 the Mustard and a Whole Shaw Himself Himself Him lila I- I self sat with his face as long and h his Is hands as far apart as a boy holdin holding i g hank of yarn for his bis grandmother I to o wind into a ball bail bal But when H came on on The Mustard 1 suddenly sat up straight H was tl the me happy alphabetical prognosticator of ot f Winona Vinona Cherry in Character Songs Song is and Impersonations There Tere wet were e scarcely more than two bites bies 1 to Cherry herry but she delivered the merchandise 5 dise tied ted with a pink cord and charged chargo ed md to the old d man mans man's s account She fir first St showed you a deliriously deliciously dewy an and nd mU country girl with a basic basket et of property daisies who informed ye you mu Ingenuously that there were othi other sr things to be learned at the old oid log ic mg schoolhouse besides ax and id nouns especially When the Teach Teach-er sr Kept Me In in Vanishing with a quick sk flirt of gingham apron strings she r re reappeared reappeared re- re e- e appeared In considerably less than a atrice aso trice as a fluffy so so near does Art bring the old red m mill till Ill mi to the Moulin Rouge And then then then- But you know the rest And nd so d did lid Id Bob nob Hart but he saw somebody els else e. e He thought he saw that Cherry w was as asen the only professional on the th ord order ler en stage that he had seen who seemed seem ed sd eden exactly to fit the part of Helen Heli en so Grimes in the sketch he had written en In and kept tucked away In the tray of ofed his trunk Of course Bob Hart as a w well wel rh as every other normal actor grocer mr newspaper s e man professor curb ur br bro 0 ker and farmer a has hasa a play la tuck tucked U ed sd edin d daway away somewhere They tuck em in inks trays of trunks trunks of trees desks ks s hay mows pigeonholes inside pockets pocket s safe sate deposit a vault bandboxes and and co coal al cellars H waiting for or r Mr coto to call They belong on ona a among the 1 fifty fifty- f 1 seven different kinds But Bob nob Harts Hart's s sketch w was as not de destined des 8 tined to end in a pickle jar jar He call called caled led sd it Mice Ulce Will Wil Play He had kept it ithe quiet and hidden away ever since I he wrote it waiting to find a partner who fitted his i r T f of nf Helen I I Grimes And here here- was was Helen elen herself herself herself her her- self th all al the innocent abandon the tho youth the sprightliness and the flawless stage art that his critical taste demanded After the act was wa over Hart found the manager in the box office and and got Cherrys Cherry's address At 5 6 the next afternoon afternoon aft aft- af- af he called caled at the musty old i house In the West Forties and sent up his professional r re I les card By daylight in a secular shirtwaist I and plain voile voie skirt with her hair curbed and her hep hel Sister of Charity eyes eves Winona Vinona Cherry mi might ht have been playing playIng play play- ing the part Dart fo to Prudence Wise Vise the daughter in the great unwritten un un- written New ew England drama not yet entitled anything I know your jour act Mr Hart she said after she sil had looked over his card carefully What did you wish to see me about I I saw pu work worl last night said Hart Ive Ive written a sketch that I Ive I've Ive ye been saving up It Its It's s for tor two o and I I I think y you on can do the other l part art I 1 thought Id I'd Id see se you about it it Como Come in the parl parlor r said Miss I Cherry Ive I e been wishing for something something some some- thing of the sort I think Id I'd Id like to act instead of doing turns urns Bob Hart drew his isis cherished Mice I Will Wi Play from his pocket and r read Ice ad I it to 11 her r. r Read It i again please said Miss Cherry And then she pointed out to him clearly how It I could be bo improved by introducing a messenger Instead of a telephone c call and n cutting ut the he dia dia- dia logue C just t before the climax W a w while they were struggling with the tile pistol and by completely changing the lines and business of Helen Grimes at the point where her Jealousy overcomes her Hart yielded to all al her strictures without argument argument She had at once put her finger on the sketch s weaker points That was her womans woman's tion ton that he had lacked At the end of their talk Hart was willing t to stake erd fl the e tj judgment ll experience tn I and savings a of his four tour years of vaudeville that Mice Will Wi Pia Play would blossom into mtr I I a perennial flower Clower in the garden oT or the circuits r Miss Cherry was slower to decide After many o oher ol oj I her smooth young brow and on her small wh white ite teeth m with wih the r d a of a lead pencil she I gave out lencl h her herAn n A turn Him I A AMr jQ I Mr r Hart said she else I l t I II I sk sketch etch is going to win out That That I G or rimes i part tl fits mo mc like a shrinkable h n J na flannel annel fl after r Its T first trip t to a hand hand- 1 le less ei ss hand laundry 1 I can make it stand i I ou out t like the tho colonel of the Forty Forty- I fo fourth regiment at x a a Little Lite Mothers' Mothers I it B iia-ar iia w azar zar And I Ive ive i've ve seen you work 1 I 1 I k know now what you YOI can do with wih the other I rt But business Is part part va business low I m m much itch do you YOI get a week for tor tile tio st stunt I I y o ou do n now Two To o hundred td answered Hart I l I i get one hundred for tOI mine said Cherry ic about the natural die die- I I c Co count for a woman But J I Iv live oh on It land I a an and nd put a few Cew every 01 week i u Ur under the loose brick i In i the old kitchen I I h hearth earth The stage Is all al right I 1 love I t I lit it I but there theros s something else eiseI I love better I b be that's beter-that's that's etter-that's a little country y home I s sc some some ome day with Plymouth Hock chick chick- e cr ens ns and six ducks wandering around he the th yard Now let me tell tel you Mr Hart I 1 am s gt strict strictly business If I you want m me to I pi lil play ay the opposite part in your sketch j. j ll do It it J and nd I be evo we Wi can make I it at go And there theres s something nt else e I I w want ant to say There Theres s no nonsense e i m in i im my ff l 13 tV makeup Im I'm on r a the l level and Im I'm Imon o the tho fo n i on n stage it pays rime I J Just as a s other girls work In stores and o offices 1 Im I'm m going to save my money t to tc o keep me when Im I'm past doing my S stunts No Old Ladies Ladies' Idles Home or Retreat Re Re- t treat reat for Imprudent Actresses for me if I If you want to make this a business business busi busi- n ness ess partnership Mr Br Mr Hart Hart with wih all al n nonsense cut o t of It i I Im I'm Im m in 1 on it It 1 I know k now something about vaudeville t teams eams in general but this would have t to o be one in particular I 1 want you jou ou t to o know that 1 im i'm Im m on tho the stage for what I 1 can cart away from it lt every payday i in n a little Itle manila mania envelope with nico nico- t tine ine stains s on it where t the cashier t h has as nse 11 licked k t the flap It Its It's s kind of lei a h hobb hobby obby of mine to want to I myself for plenty of rainy days In the m f future I 1 want you to know just how hot 1 I am I don dont don't t know what an all al night I j I restaurant looks like I drink only t weak tea I never spoke to a man at a aI j I I g stage entrance in my life and Ive I've Ive go gotI got t I r money in five savings banks I Miss Cherry said Bob In ln his bli smooth serious senous tortes tones tores youre you re in on I yow your YO r own terms Ive Ive ve got strictly i business' business I pasted in my hat haf and sten- sten o c died cued cled on my makeup box When I dream of ot nights I always see a five five- fl e room bungalow of on the north shore Long Island with a Jap cooking clam broth and duckling in the kitchen kichen and ana me with the title Ute deeds to the place tu iu il my pongee coat swinging in a hammock haul ham mock on the side porch reading Stanleys Stanley's Stan Stan- ley leys ley's s Explorations Into Africa And nobody else around You never never was interested In Africa was you Miss Miss' Iss Cherry Not any said Cherry What Im I'm Im going to do with wih my money is to bank i. i it You ou can get 4 0 per cert cent cent en cm deposits de- de dei posits Even at the salary Ive I've lIve been i earning I Ive I've Ive ve figured out that in ten i years I Id I'd Id d have an income of oC about 50 I I a month just from the interest alone Wel Well I might invest some of the principal prin cipal in a little business Say business say trImming trimming trimming trim- trim ming hats or a beauty parlo and ana t make more Well Weil VeI said Hart youve got the s proper Idea all aU right all al right anyhow any- any how There are mighty few actors 3 I that amount to anything at all aU who couldn't couldn t fix themselves for the wet days to come If i they'd they they'd d save their their money instead 0 of blowing it 1 im i'm m glad 1 r ln fJ youve you've got the correct 0 business u Idea of it it Miss Cherry I think the same s I yay and I 1 believe beleve this sketch sameI will 1 I more than double what both of us i I earn now when we ve get it shaped up The subsequent history ot of ot Mice Will Wi 1 I Play is the history of alt all al successful 1 writings for the stage Hart and 1 Cherry herry cut it pieced it remodeled It performed surgical operations on the s I dialogue and business n changed the t i I 11 lines restored st em e added ed more cut t em em t i out renamed it gave it back the old 1 I name rewrote It substituted a dagger dagges r for the pistol restored the pistol put pistol put t the sketch through all al the known L processes of condensation and improvement improve improve- ment They rehearsed it by the old fashioned fashioned fash fash- fashioned boarding house clock in the e I rarely used parlor until its is warning click at five minutes to the hour houi r would occur every time exactly half a i t second before the click of the unloaded 1 I revolver that Helen Grimes used is in i I II rehearsing the thrilling climax of the thi e a sketch Yes that was a thriller and a piece e 5 of excellent work In the act a rca real 1 1 calber caliber 32 revolver was used loaded d I with a real cartridge Helen Grimes I who is a Western Vestern girl of decidedly buffalo falo bi blUish ish skill ski and daring Is tern tem tempestuously ter I in love with Frank Desmond Desmond Des Des- mond mood the private ate secretary and conf conf- conf I dental prospect vie son-in-law son of oC he her r I father tather Arapahoe Grimes quartet quarter million dollar milon-dolar milon cattle king owning a I ranch lanch that Judging by the scenery I Is s 5 in either the Bad Had Lands or Amagansett Amagan Amagan- i- i S sett L L. L I 1 1 Desmond In n private life li e a Mr Bob Dob Hart wears wear puttees an and d Meadow k Hunt r riding n trousers s 3 and |