| Show A BATCH BA OF SMILES Senator Penrose at a J. J dinner party at al the tho Philadelphia club said bald of or a a. certain political or organizations organization failure No Xo won wonder er they tailed failed Thc They tried to do the Impossible They were ilice 1110 a a a. little Spruce street girl This little HUJo girls girl's governess 8 found foun 1 her standing alt all dressed in A n full ull bathtub Well Mary Iolar said Mid the governess Io what on earth are you 1 0 doing doln- Tho The bedraggled cl youngster as she climbed ruefully out of or tho the tub replied re- re plied piled Ive I been trying to walk i on the water liter and let me tell you ou its it's no fools fool's Job New ew New York Yo-rk Tribune Look here litre he said sall to the groom room are you OU the man who nut rut the thc saddle Mii Jennies Jennie's on horse Yes Tea sir Anything wrong sir It toll wail wad loose very loose very loose She budno hud bud no sooner mounted than Ulan the tho aUdle slipped and if It I hadn't caught her hel she h t would have e been thrown to tho the ground I Im Imery very ery t oiry sir n But t I lid catch h her I went on tile the young n man n meditatively cl I 1 caught helIn betin her bet In my arms and and heros hero's heros half a a. crown for you jou John tb 1 Do you suppose IUPpo you ou could leave Ica the girth loose loune wit when o 0 o go 10 riding again tomorrow Tele Tele- graph At 1 One time Ume in or another the lile lie ward wanI school lIr life of a little girl there prevails pro pro- vails alls thc the ambition to become a teacher Perhaps it Is la tho the indisputable authority po possessed cd by tho tilo hand that rul rules the ruler or ut the nonchalant of on topics surrounded h by the most inaccessible i difficulties to tho thu small boy and Ind girl III They will A nearly always tell their ambitions to a a. well teacher and ami one Olle rather surprising declaration was lS I cn by a H little maid In one of or Miss J lava rooms before abc b became principal of ot the Janice James school Among inong the tue special favors ois coveted by tin thin oun t is the Iho permission lon to stay l behind alter atter school and ami clean tile the black black- ho boards One Ono a a. little girl Irl Wt given the desired privilege and In ill the task aho struck up uJ a ashy shy ehy hy ort of ot conversation with Miss lo Finally the usual confession wn made When I grow up tip I nm are going to be ho a n I teacher she sho announced That hat so osk asked d Miss And nd h why do you S-QU OU want ant to bea be Je bea a teacher Well was vaa tho the rather surprising an answer an- an Ill o ha to be either Ii n. teacher or a L Ju lady 1 and ond I would rather be a It teacher Indianapolis pOlis News In a I Kansas town where t tWo o brothers aro d In the retail coal business a L revival hal was recently hold and ancI tho tue elder cider of or tho the brothers W 18 converted con For Fur weeks ho lie trIed to persuade hl his brother to Join the church One day ay he lie 3 asked JH l Vl 11 cant can't you ou Join lout the tile church chuich like I Its Us a n fine fino tiling thing for ou Oll to h belong Jons to the tue church replied d the younger brother If It I Join who'll wel weighs weigh h the coal coal coah Kansas City Star Ire Ivo been thinking of or It ever since T r started on oil HI my lilY sent pit journ said the Iho commercial tm thoughtfully n nun Im I'm If I 1 t tn eai an n I up lIP P my mind Just what she was was wa aiming at You see Ice s sOnic somo mo time ago I realized that tl i. about tho the country a as lit I 1 asu I was taking a good man many hun I 1 de tic- therefore to III Insure Incurs ure myself I So I said ald lo to my wife att after r I h had bud d acted upon tho tIm thou thought ht I have ha done SOnIC some thing today that I J should 1111 ila done lonc when I 1 first started on n th tile the rondo load I 1 have hav taken cn out an an accident policy on Oil In my ll 11 life If I hilled um J tile the company pays oOOO Ir If I am urn Injured Injured- the then I 1 net get 45 5 a we week pl k J For Kor l ho lies liow I Ion II the she As Au Jon long us fia I 1 am ani laid up But it might ml-hl ho bo only a t Y Yes e- e 4 And you ou would ani only get et 55 5 1 It That Is la all I And if It you ou get kill Hl you jou get You woul would I answered patiently Well II tho morning when hn I started on my 1115 Journey the threw h lur r arms around nb m mo and cried Now John for heavens heaven's sake Jo whatever what what- ever you do Jo dont don't gel Injured Weekly Telegraph The rile proprietor of or Ih the bl big shop hop on the tIle I I Coln corner coiner r was a L chemist flourishing withal and lie He was wa at the thc 1 post hOst Ot of or duty ml midway ay between tile the red and ind Ir green n vials J when the looking lad lady ent entered hi his premises premise but lui h he rubbed his hIM hands c greeted he her cordially Good evening madam ho whinnied In his hIli high pitched voice olce And nd what may I 1 lUte have the great pleasure of or doing for you ou The TIle fearsome ome Jad lady placed h her r arms w akimbo and ane facial him angrily The Tle other nl night said flUId In sepulchral tones you ou sold my hU hue l band all a n bottle of ot tonic one and ho hI came homo home and went for tor mo me lU like c anything anything- What hat hat yer er gobs oln to do about a it For Tor a a. brief moment tho the man iian of ot mc ll- ll cine t. a was nonplused but t only n t for or a mo St ment Then h he no turned n o on bis r. r might br- br i- i L customer hl hi his sweetest smile and s suavely 3 remarked Well madam bu bu Ju two bottles s r for yourself o HIll and then go horns home and get even evell with him London London Answers Answer l I On Once in traveling trl Dr Bled o was cx- cx cee annoyed by hy it u pedantic bores bore who forc forced up upon ln him ami made a a great parade of 01 his learning TIt Tips doc doe till tor born bore it an as Ion long HH as H he could and at length th looking at t him gravely cly My Iy friend g you roll and und I know all III that II Is to l ln o known How Ho Hois is that l' l said the man Inan pl pleased a rd with what he thought a n complimentary association Why rh sal sall l the tIme doctor you OU know everything c except that you are a fool and I J know kIlos that e Weekly kh Telegraph |
