| Show t PUTTING EM OVER With Bugs Bags Baer Copyright 1916 by the Press Publishing Publishing Pub Pub- lishing Co I i A R S M E N OARSMEN 0 U arent aren't the theo o only n 1 ly y athletes N- N who should train r for their contests on water Taxicab riding wouldn't be so bad if the chauffeur didn't coach the taximeter from the sidelines The kaisers kaiser's tr troops are e using tear producing producing producing pro pro- shells They stuff the Athletics' Athletics 1916 record into the shell sad and the ex explosion explosion ex- ex does the rest GOLFING Dont Don't tr try to bust open a golf gOl units links to see what snakes makes t it go seD Dont Don't l drive the ball bali i against the grain I The nap on a golf 11 links n 11 1 only runs one way Dont Don't bawl the caddy You may have little caddies o of your own some da day dab Play just as ns close to the links as poss pos pos- sible Any r air r rushing g between your ui arches s and t the ground Is a apt to cause au a draft Dont Don't think youre you're a taxidermist and try to stuff all your golf gol into one swing ewing Dont Don't dance on the green after a a. good putt unless the club has an orchestra provided for that purpose All boots bools and fumbles made in the Union Printers' Printers Baseball league are merely merely mere mere- ly Iy typographical errors The scout who dug up Artie Hofman Homan and Bobby Vall Wallace ace must have havo had to dig about twelve feet With Virginia and other Southern states going dry in November it looks as I If Northerners wintering in Dixie will have to have their golf bottled and expressed ex cx- pressed from New York The Athletics cracked racked after losing twenty straight Opponents have finally found Molla 1 weakness Its It's her bel partner in doubles Since they ba barred pop bottles in Toledo Toledo To To- ledo all the umpires are umpiring no-hit no games If Ir Charley White can tag ag Freddy Welsh on the toot tooth garage with his left Charley Chancy will be champion Charley Chancy can practice for that by io trying to bang a moonbeam L with a cello Tf If he accumulates accumulates' the Colonel Ebbets will give a banquet to organized baseball which looks like Uke discrimination against Cincinnati I Malting the Athletics play games gaines is carrying the joke too far Diogenes couldn't get away with that I lantern stuff now Hed He'd get pinched for I not carrying head antI and tall tail lights Makes Mattes the heart weep to think that Marty SS is out in the VestI West Vest somewhere trying to curve a recovered ball I It looks like baseball war next year 1 If the American league puts a team in I Philadelphia the National league threatens threat threat- ens to come corne right back and Invade Cin Cia ANSWERS TO Hes He's He's Hes slowing up like the Twentieth Twentieth Twentieth Century Limited going past a pump So So far as competitors are concerned concerned concerned con con- Ty Cobb is still a hermit The The situation will fight ht soon brighten up as the e Bremen linemen is bringing I over a a. o of coke Simp Simp-In Simp In order to reach Marty a postal card would have to climb cUmb the Rocky mountains late for the Athletics to spurt You cant can't sell straw hats in December De De- De- De cember Bobby Geese Bobby Wallace didn't require any guardians guardian's signature to his contract Dumm Chinese Dumm Chinese start at the back and read frontward J If Cincinnati was Hong Hong- I kong the Reds would be in first place Hong Big Big car strike reminds us of Carrol Browns Brown's pitching Everybody walks Slink Slink Since the Dodgers started the I I wrong end o of the Brooklyn bridge seems I to be in New York Kink Dont Don't Don't Dont know why they call Artie Antic I I Hofman Homan Circus Solly He never was wasa wasI a prize fighter to our r k knowledge I J r b fie Pittsburg's S Pittsburgh b g baseball scout keeps the Pirates informed as to what Is happening In the first division Pep By Pep By standing in line Une now you would be sure o of getting a n ticket in the worlds world worlds s series but wo we 0 advise you ou to tales take a n. sandwich with you Strong Zimp-Strong Strong That bird can curve a medicine ball Sheets Skeets-As Skeets As the Greeks used to say the flatter the dish the fewer the soup Knutt About Knutt-About About the safest place to study stud aviation is In a cellar Youre You're welcome A A good wrestler has about as much neck as a safe ft firm Zip Zip-Don't that buy buy your our radium from a land has been blacklisted by England Eng- Eng Goo Goof-Dillon handed Moran everything but thirty days l a little hM Mth P practice anybody should be able to faw hit a bass drum with a handful o of birdseed the Geek JIng to Hoyle y you u can deal the cards either right or le left handed so long ong Zob The as YOU U dr dont don't l deal eal underhanded I ing n Athletics are beaten standing stand stand- ng UP UP- No use o of em ern sliding S you amm-you ou may havo have the makings makings s of nf a heavy fo Weight el champion What can canA you ou do In n a circus I A American Is very poor In the league Looks as if the Ath- Ath should d more start ti have had at least fifty yard yards us-He us he head PUlled a tendon In his hj Cant Can't r explain to that Cant e-Can't China t explain anything to to that could That's Phann-That's i stay ten to rounds poke 0 not fighting with Jess A Willard turtle e its s dome out They I Th order finished In alphabetical Dillon Was A and Z |
