Show Fare T are and T Tret ret By J. J E. E NUBS AND NUBBINS Even the Iho superman om may have ha clay feet You can spike e more puns guns with candy than with candor Even en Californians conce concede e that t Just now Utah has absolutely matchless ss weather Tho Those are not dum dumdum um bullets bullet whizzing whiz whiz- zing In Syracuse The They are merely spit t balls bius Just as soon Boon as the allies shall shan have forced th the tho l DaT Dardanelles let lel the biggest liar among the tho war ar correspondents aero aero- bate or swim across the Sea of or Marmora and toot the Golden Horn Vive rive le le-Hoeh le Hoch noncombatant der all aU of or him that's left j 1 ORE WS With Germany triumphant triumphant joa And with on top Where oh vv here where would the l kaiser stop Lets lasts be he frank and say In Hoelle rna perhaps perhaps made e In U U. S. S A ALet A. A Let Lct us watch and wait wall and m pra pray OF COURSE SE I The sap 53 Is up but hut then alasSo alas alas' alasSo So Is the price of j garden sassOR sass sass- OR CRIMEN A prominent Salt J Lal o physician bearing a good German cognomen n has hasa hasL a L pedigreed pup which h he calls Joffre JoHre Now Isn't that an in In Indisputable C case M of or lose lese Of or course the tho dog doe mn may turn out to be 00 THE WAR AND THE Some orne of or the war correspondents for American newspapers and periodicals havo have written luminously even brilliantly bril of or the International saturnalia of or blood and carnage carnaJe a few rew of or them notably Arthur Ruhl havo written articles articles articles ar ar- that may be rated later as a 3 port part of or Imperishable literature and yet ot If you ou wish to bo put In the rl right ht mood for understanding Just how John Bull Bun feels about the greatest of all wars you OU should bu buy c COP copy of the London JAndon Times that that Jupiter Tanana of or modern Journalism Jour jour- and and read It from brown cover to brown cover skipping nothing as 39 1 I have done Read Its war diary Its other othel war wal articles Its hea heavy not to say Bay somber arid and an lugubrious editorials Its letters Its HB poetry KB Its church notices Its chess column and o even Its adver That x will give you ou an Impression Im Im- you ou can get ct In no other way In one paragraph the Times speaks of ot the the solemn splendors and the grim horrors horrors horrors hor hor- of oC an nil awful I war ar and In another It Its I s speaks of or tho the mighty struggle In which we wo are aro engaged It Jt refers to the horrific horrific horri horri- fic nightmare as the the greatest war this thle I country has har ever wn waged erl It says sas that next summer we shall 11 b h he en engaged cd In Inthe Inthe inthe the most murderous of this terrific ter tel rifle nar 11 and concedes 8 that we wc are fighting for fol our lives lI J t Jt t the beginning of or hostilities the Times expressed c tho the desire that desire means a n. demand denand- that that Ix YArd Lord rd Kitchener should tko tako charge charse of or the war II office lie He did and It commends ammon him now for hl his hiM perspicacity his acumen and his hla driving power In cren creating the tho great armies which now throng thron these islands Inlands At Al the tho same time It condemns the tho governments government's governments government's gov gov- most misleading methods of ot control over ovel the tho supply of or news I Intimating Inti mating that Lord I Kitchener himself Is In part responsible responsible- for the Iho fact that the government has persistently published published pub puh broadcast st and at al once all al good goodnews goodnews news while It has haa studiously confused misrepresented minimized and even concealed other facts In regard to lack lak of or preparedness s lo losses es and reverses There l Is an nn article based Ja ed on Lord Kitchener's appeal toJal or especially to the iho workmen employed by Ly the manu manu- of or the munitions of or war ar which must have been running distressingly low It says Sl'S that the they these samo same workmen arc essentially com combatants Just as much as the tho men In tho the trenches and promises that If if In the armament factories taken over and operated b by the tho government they will wm work rc regularly b by keeping good goal time th they shall shah ha e some sharo of the tho benefits benefits' earned by Ly these un undertakings What Vhal these thelle benefits are arc I cannot find out except that medals are arc to be be bestowed bestowed bestowed be- be stowed upon the tho deserving among amont them said workmen An Oxford scholar writes a threnody In prose prole In which h ho he says Unless we mix some Iome laughter we shall erac crack and anda a woman correspondent announces that All grief and no Joy makes males Jill a a. dull ull creature ture She then proceeds to flay y some somo man mrm a mere husband for an at attempt attempt at- at tempt to convince tho the British world that because of ot the war the women folk olk old and young youn should cease to dress well an and becomingly She Sho makes no mercenary or philanthropic plea that thal It Is goo good for lor trade but she boldly a as asserts asserts as- as aerts I would urge as an nn unanswerable excuse e for new clothes their exhilarating effect upon tenths nine of ol womankind Sur Surely ly tho the la lady y Is right and she adds alls that a becoming ha hat t In Is a tonic strong enough to make a persistent Invalid go for a walk That too too Is unanswerable able an and yet et tho the Tim Times rays aye editorial editorially Tho The king icing hasp has never thought of ot at attending at- at tending Ascot That Is where the tho Jockey Jocke club holds Its Darb Derby Occasionally It Il is worth while to read a ne newspaper for lor for all hero thero Is 15 In It Can as Lodge U Campus April 21 1 |