Show KITCHENER COMMENTS ON THE EUROPEAN CONFliCT By WILLIAM G. G SHEPHERD United Press Staff Staf Correspondent Correspond nt LONDON March 31 Dy By By Mall Heros Hero's a new story on tight mouthed Ki Kitchener tche ncr mouthed A civilian n cv friend nd very ry proudly walked Into a London club with Kitchener and the two sat st down to dine Tic The tat talked ked on on t twenty enl different Ur rc l th th m mes s.- s. but the l-the theone the theone one th theme in which the tho civilian was most Inter Interested sted the war wasn't brought up Finally FinalY as they were parting on tho the clubhouse steps the civilian got his and chlan up nerve neno sall said eald And b by tho the wa way hows how's the tho war goIn goIng go- go goI I In Ing ng Oh Ohm yes CS tho the war var said Kitchener Lets buy an evening paper and find out out A woman who was brought up In police po po- po- po lice court for or drunkenness said Your lordship sometimes sometime it I gets HO so 0 I think I can harJ hardly stand It I. I Any day Im I'm Im like like- Ike- Ike I ly h to hear that one of m my four sons Is dead and when I sit nit fit at home alone I 1 think every footstep means menns a war ar office messenger coming to tell tel me tho the news So yesterday esterday I went to the public house and stayed there all ni day tiny where I could get somebody to talk to Do you rou mean you ou have four sons In Inthe Inthe inthe the arm army Yes your our lordship and every everyone one oneat oneat at the vor very front God bless you said the Judge Of at course Ill I'll Il lot let you OU ou go But let me r remind re remind re- re mind you that th there re is no real comfort In alcohol But Hut William Roberts In Ill police court didn't get et off of BO so easl easily William I lam It I s seems ers Is a coachman On Un the da day that Ills hIl two sons somis went vent to the front 1 William Sillian I a 1 had the lut dut duty of driving driving a hearse at nt a funeral All Al during the funeral he sat ft on his high seat with wih worry eating hIsh his h heart art out out but at last the funeral was ended the procession broke up and William started back for or tIle the stable with wih the hearse Not tar fur from the stable eta ata- blo ble ho he resolved to g get t one drink He Ho hitched the time horses r es In front of a a. a pub 1 bought one ono mor himself lf tol told some m men n h he met about his worries drank with th them m and an hour later Inter a police policeman nolice- nolice man came Into the tho saloon and said hearse Is that out there William unsteadily admitted he was r responsible for or the black vehicle The policeman drove the time hearse back to the thesta sta stable hie and and another policeman drove William to the station staton and the Judge judg the n next day Ia a praised William for giving two sons to England but fined him for tor letting a hearse stand around In the streets Private Edward Edwar Owen on leave sitting sit sit ting In a u dark corner of a n public hou house o heard Jos Joseph Rose a n gunner Just from ro p telling the tile barmaid tho the front pret pretty about his hardships on the time firing tring line lne where he lie said Bald he be ltd been nearly starved Well Vei In m my ro regiment suddenly put In Owen On we had tu sausages es bacon and eggs steaks and stews stows for or breakfast ever every tiny day It ended In a fist fight an and Rose Ros paid pall a n two dollar dolar fine for forgetting forgetting or getting mad Not even wen bird students knew how ho were tho the ears cars o of birds until this war began began and new facts aro are coming out day by ta day showing that tho tile birds h hear nr noises or feel feet vibrations that human beings fall fail fal to catch During Dur Dur- During ing th the German Cerman airship raid rId on the English coast const pheasants and other birds nInny many miles mies Inland In the tho night during the atack attack and chattered In ill terror Bird students b believed loved that the birds were hearn hearing distant explosions But within the past few cw tho tIme bird lovers have changed their minds and time the they now believe that It Il Is the whirr of the tho air prop propellers lors that causes the tile annoyance On the tho English con const Coast t from points where tho the English a aeroplanes start on their cross channel raids tho the family parrots raise terrific terric disturbances disturbances disturb disturb- ances while tho the aeroplanes are arc in the tho air Long before an aeroplane can cnn bo bote seen n or before a n human can an detect et ct th tile the whirr te of tho the air en engines tho the parrots are crying out their discomfort taken prisoner b by bythe bytho An English Tommy the tho Turks In iii Egypt was asked aske by a n Turk Where here 11 did you OU get your our watch Bought It said salt tho the soldier But you stole stoIc the money to bu buy It with didn't you asked the tho Turkish Toni Tommy mU No It I was wal m 1 my pay pay Pa Pay Pa Pay for what 0 For g bel a n soldier solier What do you get t pay for being a as s soldier exclaimed tho the Turk Thereafter English prisoners were kept In |