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Show 1 The Chair of Philanthro-Mathcmatics :: By O. Henry fraa aduratlnn. Thrr rl.pru epan that i town. aponaaO tha arum a. turna4 It. Ilnrd It wlih nrar mohair; and yi.u ! com, in I hava told it from Harvard or, fiol.lflrlda at tha Mjn h Irrm of court. I Thar Riiirrhrd up and down lha atrrata aavina flaaa with tha World'a I nnl arattr n.lora uliramarlna and' hltir and Ih.-- trrlalnlv mada llrr.v plara i.t IL.rr.Mlia. Andy ma. thrm a aprn h from tha lialrony of tha Hkv-vlrar Hkv-vlrar hnlH and thr whola loan an I out rrlrl. ratine. . "In alu'iit ln wrrka lha prufraaora ot thr atudrnta liirtnrd and hardrd I mm i iaaa. I dun I briirvt lltrrr a any Plraaurr r.Ul to I vain a ph'lanthro- . Plat. Mr and Andy houaht hitch allk hat a and prrtrmlrd to dodta lha two 1 rrporirra of lha Moraavlllr ;airtir. I Tha papr had a man to kodak ua whanrvrr tra apprarad on lha atraat. and ran our plrturra avary wrak ovar tha column hradr.t 'Kduratlonal Nolra.' Andy Ircturrd twlca a wah at tha nnlvrraity: and ifttrraard I woulil rlaa and r! hitmorotla aiory. ttn.-a thai (lairtta prinird my piriura with Aha t Im.i n on iiw aula and Marahall I'. SS'll lr on ilia othrr. Andy i na In'rr. alrd In phllan- ' thrnphy na I waa. Va uard to aaka up iT niahta and trtl anch mhr nrw Idraa for boorninir thr unurralty. j "'Andy a.iya I to htm nna day. 'thrra'a aumaihins ovarlnokrd. Tha loa nuaht to hiiva Urnmnlarira ' I "SS'hafa thai" Andy aaka. " 'Why. anmrthlna to alarp In. of coiiraa.' aaya 1. 'All colirgra hava 'am.' "Oh. ynn mran n)am.' aaya Andy. 'I .1.. nnl ' - - . - I ' I . maka rratltutlon. M wr'll look about (or aomnhintt that la alut half aay bataran tha two.' Tha nral day. In walklna around Ptorravlllr. mt aaa on a hill a tiK. rru brtrk hulldlna that aplaara In t dta-Inhabllrd. dta-Inhabllrd. Tha a-lllarna aprak up and tall ua that It waa brcun for a tral nc arvrrat )aara larfoia by a minr ownrr. Afirr running up ihr hou ha Hilda hr only had I.' lit left In fur. nlah It tallh. ao ha Invrata Ihal In whtakv and )umpa off thr ronf rn a I put whrrt ha hoar rnjulrataia In plrrra "Aa aon aa ma and Andy raw that butfillna, lha aama Idrn alruck both of ua. VSa would fli It up with Ixhia and panwiprra and profraaora. and put an iron dog and alatuaa of llrrcutra and Kaihrr John on tha lawn, and alart nna of tha flnaal fraa rriuc atlonal Inatltu-liona Inatltu-liona In lha world riht thrrr. "Ho wa talka It nvar to tna prominent promi-nent rlllarna of Horrarllla, who lallf In fn with tha idra. Thry aivr a tanqurt In tha analna hnuar to ua. and wa maka our kw for ih flrat tlma aa brnrfaclura t thr rauaa of pmarraa and rnllihtrnmrnt. Andy makra an hour and a half aprrrh 'n lha aiihjact of Irrigation in lotvrr I jcypt. and wa hava m moral tun on tha phonograph and pinaappia ahrr-lirt ahrr-lirt "Andy and ma didn't' t'aa uny ilmr In phllanf hroppinf. Wa put rrry mnn In town thai could ir:l hammrr from a airpladilrr to work on lha building, dividing It up Into rlaaarnoma and Ir. lura halla. Wa wirr.l to Kriaro for a carload of draka. football, arithmr. tlra. prnholdrra. dirtionarlra. rhalrafur aa flour. ahlng flnr. and ma and Andy kit our allk haia ah.nrd up. and r1orravill krpt nn hraping honora on ua Ilka mr waa mllllonairaa inataad of almost braird phtlanthn-piata. "Tha aludanta k'i't tha town llvrlr and proaurroua. Homa Mrargrr -ama to town and aiarlad a f-ro lunk orr tha Had rVont livrry atahla, and hrgan 'to amaaa nionry In quantiiira. Ma and Andy atroll'd up otio night and plkrd a dollar or I wo for aorlahllily. Thrra iwrra about fifty of our atudrnta Ihrro drinking rum punrhra and ahovlng high atarka of hlura and rrda atout lha labia aa lha ilrnlrr furn'd lha I rarda tip. da ' "'Why. tiang It. Andy.' aaa I. "ihraa fraa hoed hunting, gandrr - hradrd allk-airkrd Ittilr aona of aapaurkrra hava got mora m.mry than you and ma rrr had. I.n.k at tha rolla thry ra pulling oul or Ihr'r plalol pockrla?" "'Vaa.' aava Andy, o go.i.1 niany of Ihrm ara aona or waaiihy mlnarg and Morkmrn. It vary and to ara m waaiing thrir uppnrtiinlitra thla way.1 i "At I'hriatmja all tha atudrnta wrtit homa to aprnd lha holldaya. Wa hud a rarrwrll h owout al lha un'.varalty, and Andy lclurrd on 'Modern Mualc and I'rrhiaiorli- L.lrralura or tha Arrhl-IHvlagna.' Arrhl-IHvlagna.' Kj' h ona of tha faculty an- lawarrd to toaaia and romparrd ma and Andy to rU hrfrllar and lha Kmprror M irrua Autolvcua. I ounilnl on lha labia and rllrd for -rnfra.or Mr-t'orklr; Mr-t'orklr; but It arrma ha waan't prrrnt on thr occaatnn. I wantad a look nt tha man that Andy thought rould rurn 1100 a wrrk In phllanlhmpy thit wiia on th point of making an aaalgnmrnt. I "Tha atudrnta all I'fl on thr night train; and lha town aounclrd aa quirt aa ttta campua of a corrrapondrnt-a a hool al mldnlRhl. SS'hrn I wrnt to lha hotrl I aaw a light In Andy'a room, and I nprnrd tha door and walked In. j 'Thrra aat Andy and lha faro dralrr at a table dividing a two-foot high : alack of currency In thouiund-dollar 'packagra. I " I'orract.' aa) Andy. Thlriy-nna thouaand apiece. Coma In. Jeff.' aaya he. Thla la. our ahare of tha profits of tha flrat half of tha Kholuatlc term or lha World a unlveraity. Incorporated and phllanthropatrd. Are you ron- jvlnrrd now.' aaya Andy, 'that philanthropy philan-thropy whan practiced In a hiialneaa , way la an art that blaaara him mho : gtvra aa wen aa htm who receives?' I "'Ureat:' aaya I. Mil b ready. But. admit you are doctor thla time.' I " We'll ba leaving nn tha morning . train,' aaya Andy. You'd better get p your cnllara and ruffa and preas clip- plnga together.' " tirrat: aaya S. TU ba ready. Rut, Andy,' aaya I, 'I wlah I rould have met that I'rofraaor James liarnlry Mc-t'nrkle Mc-t'nrkle before we went. I had a curl-isMy curl-isMy to know that man.' " That'll be eaay.' ansa Andy, turning turn-ing around lo the faro denier. "'Jim.' auys Andy, ahake nanus with Mr. I'rtera ' Copyright. !:. hy fioubledsy. I'aae Co ; published by special arrange, meat with lha Wheeler Syndicate. Inc. "I sea that tha rauaa of education ha a received the princely gift of mors thaa IM.saa.toa.- said I I was gleaning the stray Itrma from tha evening peuere while Jeff I'etrrs packed hie brier pipe with plugrut. "Whkn same." aald Jeff, 'calla for a new drrk and a rectiaimn by ihe entire claee In phllan'hru-mithe-malice" "la that an allusion?" I asked. "It Is." said Jeff. "I never told you about the lime whrn ma and Andy Tucker wa phllanihropiata. did I? It waa eight year a ago. In Arlsona. Andy and me was out In the una moon-taina moon-taina with a Iwe-boree wagon proa-pectlng proa-pectlng tor ailver. SS'e atruck It and aold out ta partlea In Tuceon for S:.-eao. S:.-eao. They paid our check at Ihe bank in ailver-a thouaand dollara In a aack. We loaded It In our wagon and drove eaat a hundred mi lea before wa r-rovered r-rovered our pre pen re of Intellect. Twenty-five thouaand dollara don't aound Ilk ao murh when you're reading read-ing tha annual report of Ihe I'ennevl-vanla I'ennevl-vanla railioed or lieiening to an arior talking about h.a salary, but when you can rata up a wagonlieel and kirk around your brothel and hear every one of 'em ring agalnat another. II makaa you feel like yuu waa a night and day bank with th clock atrlklng ' The third day mm drove Into one of lha moat aperloua and tidy little towna that Nature or Hand dt Mc-Nally Mc-Nally ever turned out. It waa In the foothllle and mingafed with treea and flow-era and about two thousand head of cordial and dilatory Inhabitants Tha town seemed to be railed Horea-vllle. Horea-vllle. and Nature had not contaminated contami-nated It with many railroads, fleas or Kaalern toutlaia. "Me and Andy depoalied our monry to the credit of IVtera and Tucker In lha Kaprranaa Havings laink and got rooms at the riky-vlew hotel. After aupper we lit up and eat out on the gallery and smoked. Then was when the philanthropy Idea atruck me. I auppoa every grafter geta It some-lime some-lime "When a man swindle Ih public out of a certain amount, ha begine to get Beared and wanta to return part of It. And If you will watch close and notice the way hie iharuy rune. ou will aee that he trie to reatuns It lo the aame people he got It from. Aa a hydroatatlral rase lake, let's say. A. A msde his millions selling oil to poor students who sit up nights studying political economy and methods for rrg. ulstlng Ihe truele. Ho bark lo the unlveraltlea and collegea goea Ma con-eclence con-eclence dollara. Therea H. who got hie from the common worklngmsn that works with his hands and tools. How's he to get eome of tha remorse fund back Into their overelle? 'Aha!' saya B. 'I'll do It In ths name of Kduratlon. I've aklnned the laboring man.' saya he to himself, 'but. according to ths old proverb. "Charily rovers a multitude of sins."' "Ho he puts up eighty million dol-ilara' dol-ilara' worth of libraries: and lit boya 1 with Ihe dinner palls that builds 'em geta the benefit. "Where'e Ihe books?" aaka Ihe read-I read-I lug public. ! "'I dlnna ken.' says H. 'I offered y I libraries, and there they are. 1 auppoa aup-poa If I'd given e preferred ateel Iruat etock Inatrad, ye'd have waqted the water In It et out In cutglaaa da-I da-I cantera. Hoot, for ye:' "Hut. as I said, tha owning of ao murh money waa beginning In give me phllanthropltla. It waa the flrat time me and Andy had ever made a pile big enough to make us stop and think how we got II. "'Andy.' says I. "we're wealthy not beyond the dreams of average: hut In our humble way we are comparatively aa rich as drrnarra. I feel aa If I'd Ilk to do something for as welt as lo humanity." "'I waa thinking the same thing, Jeff,' says he. 'We've been gouging the public for n long time with all klnda of Utile schemes from selling aelf Igniting celluloid cullare to flooding flood-ing Oeorgla with Hoke Hmlth preal-denllal preal-denllal campaign buttons. I'd Hire, myself, to hedge a bet or two In the graft gams If I could do It Without actually banging Ihe rymballnea In the Ha I vat Ion Army or teaching a ruble ru-ble rlaaa by the Bertillnn lem ' I What'll w do?' aaka Andy. 'Olvw fraa grub tn the poor or send a couple cou-ple n( thousand to C.eorge Cortel-youT Cortel-youT " 'Neither.' aaya I. 'We've got too 'murh money to b Implicated In plain charity, and wa haven't gut enough to th profeaaora. alutea. akrletnna. pongee. twenty. eexm rravenetted gowna and capa for lha senior class, and an open order for all the truck that goes with a first rlaaa uitlveiatty. I i look It on myeeif to put a campus and i a curriculum on tha Hat. butiM- telegraph tele-graph operator must haver gut t!ie ' worda wrong, hems, an Ignorant man. ; for when the goods enme we found a ', ran of peas and n currycomb among 'em. "While tha weekly papers waa having hav-ing chalk plate ruta of m and Andy, we wired an employment agency in Chicago lo eiprraa ua f. o. b.. alg profraaora pro-fraaora Immediately --one Ktigltah literature, lit-erature, ona up to date dead languagea. one chemlatry. one polnlral economy, rirmocrat prrferred ona logic, and one wise lo painting. Italian and music. Willi union rani. The Kaperansa bank guaranteed ealarlea, which waa to run between I "OS and fiou.io. "Well, air, we finally gof In shape. Over the front door was carved the words: Th World's University; I'e- ters Tucker, I'atrons and I'ropne. j tora' And when Xrptemlier the firat got a rroaamark on Ih calendar, ihe I romeona begun lo roll In. Klrl the I faculty got off the triweekly eiprraa ei-prraa from Tucaon. They waa moat-ly moat-ly young, apectacled and rrdheadrd, with sentiments divided between sm-bltlon sm-bltlon and food. Andy and m got 'rm billeted nn the K'lnreavllllsns and thrn laid for th atudrnta. 'They ram In btinchrs. Wr had advertised ad-vertised the university In all th atate papera, anil II did ua good to see how quirk the country reaponded. Two .hundred along from Is up to chin Iwhlnkere answered the flnrlon call rf darlrs.' Hut I never could mske Andy i understand: so we never ordered 'em.1 Of course, I meant them long bed-rooma bed-rooma In roUegea where th achoara sleep In a row. "Well. air. the SVorld'a university waa a sucreea. We had scholars from five atatea and territories, and Klnrravlll had a boom. A nrw shooting gu'lrry and l) pawnshop and Iwo more aaloona alarted: and the Itoye got up a roCege yell ihat went this way: ""Flaw. raw. raw. I one, done flune. I'etera. Tucker, I .ota of fun. Bow -wow -wow. Ilnw-hee-hnw. World iinlveratry, ' Hip, hurrah!" Th arholare waa a fin lot of young men. and me and Andy was ss proud of 'rm as If thry belonged to our own t family. "But one day about the laal of October Octo-ber Andy rotne ta m and asks If f I have an Idea how much monev w had left In Ih bank. I gueaaes about els-teen els-teen thousand. "Our balsnce.' isvs Andy. 'Is tll.i:.' "'What!' aaya I. wllh a kind or a j yell. 'Po ynu mean lo tell me Ihst thetn Infernal rlod-hopptng. dough-j dough-j headed, pup-faced, goose-neslned. gate. I stealing, rsblill -eared anoe of horse I thieves have snaked us for that much?" I " 'No leas.' says Andy. I "'Then, lo Helvetia with plillan-thropv." plillan-thropv." saya I. j "'Not neceaa,irll'.' aava Anily. Tiiil-nnlhrnpy.' Tiiil-nnlhrnpy.' aaya he. 'wh-n run on a good llilialneea haste la one of Ihe befit grafts ! going. I'll look Into the mailer and see if It ran t he straightened out.' "Th next week I am looking over the payroll of our faculty when I run acroe a new name Hrnfeeeor Jnmea IHtrnlry McCorkl. rhalr nf mathematics: mathe-matics: salary tlA per week. I yella ao loud that Andy runs In quirk. "'SS'hat'a this.' says I. 'A professor of mathematlra at mora than I '.000 a year? How dirt thla happen? Did h get In through th window and appoint hlmacirr " 'I wired to Krlsco fnr him a week ago.' aaya Andy. 'In ordering th faculty fac-ulty we seemed to have evetiooksd th chair nf mill hematics ' i "A good thing we did.' says I. 'SS'e can pay hla salary two weeks and then our philanthropy will look Ilka the ninth hole nn ihe Hklbo golf links.' I "Walt a while," aaya Andv, 'nnd see1 how things turn out. Wa have taken up ton nohle a cause to draw out now. Besides, th further I gala Into the retail philanthropy huelnes th better It looks tn me. 1 never thought about Inveatigatln It befor. Come tn think i f It now.' gors nn Andy, 'all 'the philanthropist- ever knew had plenty of money. 1 nnght to hav looked Into th.it ms"r long ngo. and located which w.ia Hi cauae and which was the effect." "1 had confidence hi Andy'a chicanery In financial affairs, su I left the whola thing in hla hands. The, university |