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Show Artists Wanting to Draw Still Life Should Depict Giants Trying to Bat and then tap me gently on ths head with a cantilever bridge to mske surs I reslixad they weren't jesting If you believe I'm wrong, snd just suffering from a persecution complex, com-plex, drop by soms time snd, after slipping on a pair of dark glasses, help ma read my mail. Better bring ome rubber gloves, too, becauae I open lots of It under water a precaution pre-caution I adopted after that alarm clock (a gift from a yachtsman By HENRY MLEMORK I'nitrd Prraa Sporta Writer NEW YORK, Oct. 12 (UP) Ons of thess days I sm going to find myself in a dark alley with a group of New York Giants' fans and deep sea yachtsmen, and when I do heaven have mercy on my poor pelt! The odds againat my getting out of thst alley without an advanced caae of rigor mortia would be 600 to 1, et least. I hsvs no doubt but that ths yachtsmen and ths members mem-bers of ths Giant cult would yank my ears off for watch foba, wrench off a knew or two for doorsteps 1 during ths America's cup series) went off, scattering assorted bits of shrapnel about the room. I wish you were here right now, : becsuss a fresh batch of letters just csme in and I can tell by ths ' slight siizllng noise they give off ths sound is very similar to that of a T-bons steak on ths griddls thst they're from Giant worshipers. Stand back and I'll open a few! This one reads: "Mr. Terry draws 140.000 a year. You'rs so smart, what do you draw?" Well, now, Mr. Fredericks, what I draw dependa on my mood. Sometimes Some-times I get a feeling for a landscape and nothing will do but that I slip on my frock, atep brightly up to my easel and put on canvas a neat, but not gsudy, assortment of brooks, rivulets, birches, weeping willows, squirrels and "no trespassing" signs. At other times nothing will satify ms but drswing a cat peeking around the skirts of an angular woman wo-man named Madge. At atill other times I like to draw atill life-like Johnny McCarthy at bat or Bill Terry entertaining a group of reporters. re-porters. If by any chance I have misconstrued miscon-strued your letter, Mr. Fredericks, and you mean how much money do I draw, I will giva you a rough outline out-line of my annual Income: "Big" Salary Sporta writing and selection of winners. 12630.11. Shoplifting: This vsries. Last week, for example, I was so busy with ths world series that I didn't have time to make but one haul and it wasn't very productive, netting net-ting nothing but three sets of bicycling bi-cycling trouser clips, two bags of tulip bulbs, 35 square yards of chicken wire snd an ammonia pistol pis-tol for warding off ferocious dogs. Casting iron deer for lawns, 117.50. Teaching archery: Nothing. I don't feel badly about this, as I can't shoot a bow snd arrow. Contest Winner Creating original names for tearooms: tea-rooms: .). I got 125 for Ys Olds Tea Shopps snd (25 for Dew Drop inn. That makes a total of $2971. Not much, Mr. Fredericks, but I would like you to know that out of it I sm sending four boys through barber college and furnishing most of the money for tha movement to get another "7" put on dice. |