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Show I 72rT 1 r J Tl I i m Henny-Pincher IT WAS Nettie's birthday and her 'husband, Frank, took her out to a movie. The baby was with them, ' and the usher said that if the baby cried he'd Just have to put them j out, giving them back their money, of course. Frank and Nettie sat through the picture four times, and the baby didn't make a sound. After about six hours, Nettie said, "Frank, we'd better leave now." , ! And Frank said, "Didn't the usher say he'd put us out anfi give back i our money if the baby cried?" "Yes," said Nettie. "Then what are you waiting for," said Frank, "go ahead and pinch l the baby." A Toor Place for It The customer dashed into the ! tailor shop and handed the proprietor proprie-tor a jacket. "There's- a button dropped off this coat," he announced. ! "I want you to sew a new one on ' the back of the Jacket." ! The startled tailor faced the customer. cus-tomer. "Why on the back of the ! Jacket?" he inquired. "Don't you want It In the same place as the last button?" The customer shook his head. I "That's no good," he explained. "I'm always losing it there!" KIND TO ANIMALS Mother Now, before you get serious seri-ous with Mm, be sure he Is always kind. Daughter Oh, I'm sure he Is. I heard him say he put his shirt on a horse that was scratched. Seemed That Way Little Malvin, aged seven, arrived home from school and slammed his books In a corner. His mother asked him what the trouble was. "It's that stupid teacher we have," replied the boy disgustedly, i "She's ignorant." "Why, Malvin!" scolded his shocked mother. "That's no way to speak about your teacher." But Malvin was very stubborn. "I can't help it," he insisted. "That I teacher really is dumb. All day long j she keeps asking questions!" I 1 Dough Helps, Too Joe Making love Is like baking bak-ing an apple pie. Moe How do you figure that? joe All you need Is applesauce and crust, j j . Trouble-Maker The gentleman had sent for the plumber to fix an upstairs faucet, ' and as he and his wife started downstairs they met the plumber coming up. The gentleman said: "Before I go downstairs I would I like to acquaint you with the cause of the trouble." The plumber politely removed his hat and murmured: "Pleased to meet you, ma'am." Lots of Practice The elderly lady felt she was being be-ing cheated on the fare and was arguing with the driver. "Don't try I to tell me, my good fellow," she declared de-clared loftily. "You know, I haven't been riding in taxis for ten years for nothing." "Maybe not," replied the taxi driver sarcastically, "but I'll bet it wasn't because you didn't try." BEFORE HIS TIME Foreman Now, then, hurry up! j Worker All right, boss. But Rome wasn't built In a day. Foreman Maybe not. But I wasn't foreman on that job. Needed a Map Husband Well, my dear, I have carried you safely over all the rough places of life, haven't I? Wife Yes, and I don't think you missed anv of them. |