OCR Text |
Show HERE'S WHERE THE LAUGH COMES INCHEER UP1 AfcdUT TIME TO GEt BtJSY. Judge: . Junior Partner Our cashier says he doesn't want any vacation this jar. Senior Partner Well. Junt tiotify his bondsman and put an expert on his books. NO INFORMATION. Judge. ' V "Yes, she tried to find out how much money her husband had in th bank." "And did she learn?" "No, Indeed. They wouldn't let th bank teller." " ' ENLIGHTENMENT. Puolc The natives are now becoming thoroughly thorough-ly enlightened; they omit breakfast and peak openly and with confidence of their alp'Btlve proceaa. Of course, they o longer eat bread. And still the wonderful bread-fruit tree ylelea them their living. For this tree can he cut down and sawed up into a aawdust which compares hot unfavorably with tha Imported fooda. KO SUCH LUCK. Chicagd Tribune. "Going to the World's fair at St. Louis this summer, sre you? By the way, yoS. have friends there, haven't you?" "No. 1 have sortie relatives there,- but no Irlemls." REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. New York Press., An URly feusband makes a faithful one. A man can get a great reputation with a woman by opening a telegram just as if it wouldn't bite. The only way to get a boy to. take castor cas-tor oil cheerfully la to give him the choice of that or Sunday-school. No woman can -wear another woman's rubbers without pretending that she has to slide along on her feet to keep them from falling off. . What a Woman likes about buying a thing on the Installment plan is that If she died before It was paid up she would "e that much money In. MYSTERY. . Lira The origin of the learned professions sfms to be a mystery. For, health being made a mystery, we have the medical profession. Justice bffr made a mystery, w have the leriU profession. Finally, salvation being made a mystery, mys-tery, we have the clerical profession. Gasoline Reduced. CLEVELAND, O., Marth- SO.-Th Standard Oil cohipany has reduced the price of all i gravies of gasoline 1 cent per gallon. , . t |