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Show JUST A STRIP OP JOKES TO MAKE YOUR bAY MERRIER. J ANTTHUTG BUT BAUD. i Philadelphia Ledger. ' "It's nonsense to say 'the way of the transgressor Is hard,' " remarked the nutn who had been taken In by an oily swindler. swind-ler. "Tear "Yes, his way Is usually suave." SOMETHING ' WBONO. Philadelphia Press. - "Whst's matter?" demanded the elght-, elght-, ly fuddled maa as h got aboard the car. "ain't this the car I want?" "What!" snapped the conductor. "How do I knowr "Oh. you must 'a knowed It or you wouldn't 'a stopped an' let me ketch yen" Washington SUr. A' SITUATION1 DEnSSD. "Did you have a maa dat was practldn' how to defend you in da easer' asked the visitor. "Yasstndeed." snswered tha prisoner. "Ha waa practlcln' law an' I was de feller ha was practlcln' on," . . rov-PSODUczva appbscxatiob- , . . The Poet Success Is a great drawback. The Artist Hows that? The Poek Oh, whenever I do anything good, I have to quit work and admire myself for a long time. A VXSDICT OJT EVIDENCE. Grace How cool Clementine acts. Gertrude Yes: la some previous reincarnation rein-carnation Clementine must have been a cucumber. , j HO0SXE&3 LEFT IN THE KEAB. i "Indiana isn't In it, after all." "How s that?" "Italy has 00 dialects." 8UBJS ENOUGH CANNY. -Smith, have you saved anything? "Yes; thousands of dollars.' "In what way?" ."Oh there's a big fortune in Scotland coming to tbe 8mlth family and I've never nev-er spent a cent trying to get ia oa It" GLADSOME ZXFECTATldNS. Bob-Going to take In the St Louis fair? Dick Tea, sir; and I'm going to let It tak me in, too. ( UTlJUtLT Kt GOOD. Exchange. - ! Secretary Bung Gen. Blaseawaaki Is AO good. H doesn't win any victories. i Secretary Hole I should say he was no good. He doesn't even claixa an? vloto- . " t A BAD WORD. Exchange. "Did you send Mr. Nobley the samples he asked for?" Inquired the tailor. "Yes." replied the clerk. "I'm just finishing fin-ishing our letter to him. Which shaU I say. Trusting to have your order, I am' or we are'?" "What! Cut out that trusting' and make it 'hoping.' " A HINT. Detroit Free Press. She (archly) Violets are only 25 centa today. He I know It dear, and If I could get a bunch of money a cheap aa I could get a bunch of violets I'd buy you a whole wagoa load of flowers. 3IATSBIAL FOB HTM', " Philadelphia Press. "I see they're advertising a new breakfast break-fast food." said the passenger. . "That so?" replied the stranger, who shared his seat "I'll have to look it up." "Pond of these things?" "Oh. no; but It might be worth dramatizing. drama-tizing. I'm a theatrical manager. THE WHOLE TROUBLE. . Philadelphia Ledger. " ' ' "Whafs the matter, little boy?" asked eld Mr. Goodhart. "What are ytu crying for?" "Boo, hoo!" sobbed ths bey. "Beo hoo!" "Com, cornel Doa't . mind! Don't mindl" "Boo. boo! I didn't, aa" that's what I was licked fur." |