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Show ' On reanoa there la ao much ad-nea ad-nea tn th world la that eomewher It la always tlmi to get up tn in morning. - I What's going to b th penalty for i bootlegging coal thla winter? When, a man la court inc a Itirl he Just can't bear to have her out of his sight When he's married to her a short time ahe Juat won't let him eel out of her aljtht. POSITIVELY NOTHING. "A bribe, air? That's an ugly word." "True." "Huppoee I acre to do this for consideration?" con-sideration?" "Suits me. What l a syllable, mora or leas, between friends?" Chinaman You telle mo wherw N railroad depot? Cltlxen What's ths matter. JohnT Lost? Chinaman No; me hers. Depot lost. A mmlatrr made rather a long call 4 upon a lad)' acquaintance. Her Uttl ' dauKhtrr. who waa preaent. grew weary of hla convention and whispered whis-pered In an audible key: "Didn't he bring hia 'Amen' with him, mamma?" Blt-ttNO ANO COOINft, 1 Ha met a Mr maiden and soon was a-woolng. He told her he loved her, th words . anflly coning. He auBge.ied they marry, ah fell for the plan. On the firxt of the month the billing began. RECALLED PLEASANT MEMORIES. "How can you wear auch a dreamy look when that jaia orcheatra la making mak-ing such an Infi'rnal racket ;" "Why. It carries me right back to my childhood dayn." said th cabaret patron. "I was brought up In the shadow of a boiler faciory." j If you want to know how low the I value of a Huaslan ruble haa fallen. It jlakee sixteen thousand of them to buy a cucumber. j VERY CONSIDERATE. I At a railway station a nice old ladV left the train and got Into a cab. The cabman aald, "Gimme your bag, lady; fill put It on the top o' the cab." "No, Indeed!" answered the dear old I lady; "that poor horse has enough to pull. I'll Just hold It on my lap." I We often wonder how some of the ! women ever succeed In finding hats that are ao unbecoming to them. Two Ftrlpee: "Dldja hear that Blinker signed up tor overseas aervlce again?" Three Stripes: "ZaJaoI How long did he sign for?" Two rltrlpes: "For the duration of prohibition." The wages of sin are death, but there never Is any lack of employ- jt .rnent. NEWS OF THE PIPCOOP MOTORCYCLE MOTOR-CYCLE CLUB. ( From th Plpeonp Dally Squawk.) tillm Silo skidded Into the post clock In front of Ten Tinkers' Jewelry store. Slim said he was only "riding against time." WHAT DfrTjANE THINK f Jack: "Say. Jill, you didn't know jthat I was an electrician? I missed my calling." I Jill: "How's that?" j Jack: "Why, last night, over at Jane's, the electric light fuse burnt out. Guess who fixed It? Me. I myself." Jill: "Huh! Tou're no electrician. Tou're an Idiot." That cleanliness I accredited next to godliness probably accounts for Monday being wash day. |