Show V C r i NO F y J By Jack l t 3 X I ac at Y V j Once upon a time oilier oilier-a a time in there 1917 there lived live a a beautiful princess and her he hena na name e was as Lizzie W Watkins Her father was King ing Mike Ji monarch rinar h of a local ocal in the A Teamsters Teamsters' union Lizzie ti ie was strong a a strong minded ire She had b been en reared eared in an ani atmosphere of of discipline Q en- en f f fp ced p reed d by y parap paraphernalia l rn lia rang rang- inn from the broad end rid of f a beer been b le Jo to a lid oft off the kitchen i t Est stove LY ye H Her r old man man did not bel be- be I l ve in spoiling life me child by j sparing acing a brick Bew tO I I r raise iris his daughter to to tie beas as good gooda a a. Christian as he was at least as asgood I good as he was was he was ro roaring ring drunk So the princess f ran fan n away I Leaving behind her the grandeurs gran- gran j gran-j deurs dears of the castle castle- vh e King Kings I Mike reigned she she- J made her way 1 I II I past the saloon wl where ere h he 1 was explaining ex- ex I ex-I j paining to the bartender that if I i union men would stick together they could run the world and I she proceeded 11 fhe hence Q ice into a dense forest the v r 1 theM the Metropolitan Metropolitan Met Met- Met Met-I M aM Wilderness s. s N Princess Lizzie Lizzi w y as nig Q frightened frightened frightened fright fright- ened at the strap g lie that she encountered l ii Ife fastnesses fastnesses fastnesses fast fast- nesses nesses for she slie ha h had fl en n wandered wandered wandered wan wan- dered as a child be b beyond y i the royal preserves of her hei pickled kl d papa and had learned earne t languages of many of the b behemoths h moths and brutes of the gr great I 3 jungles les beyond beyond beyond be be- j yond the shado shadowy y the domain I 1 She had been tin rn ad adventurous venturous little princess princess' Sand and h lied hid d many manyI I times frolicked with the populace at folk dances ori at on Saturday nights 1 I in Foley's Foey's hall haIJ where the slaves I i and servitors of King Mike would I foregather to have th their ir jollities I i as befits the mean and lowly There the princess had partaken I of many liquids Offered r 4 her by bythe bythe I Ithe the loyal and kindly common I commoners commoners common common- ers ers and on some occasions had l left ff Foley's hall filled hall juth Uh enthusiasm en en- II I So the princess prince s was well satisfied satisfied satisfied sat sat- satI I that she take take care i of herself out in inthe the world a away aay ay I from the protecting left ft wing of I her father Besides s she h hoped I soon to come to the castle of a ayoung ayoung young prince whom sh she loved I This prince was was was' of of ofa a house not noto I the the Watkins 0 so o powerful as dynasty being tout lint a a Gilligan I Tough Egg Steve Prince Steve was Vas V-a V a s self made I I power c Born Bom of oL unassuming parents both of whom had been i frequently restrained d J in dungeons I for disorderly conduct and resisting resisting resisting re re- re- re an officer Steve nevertheless nevertheless nevertheless never never- made his influence fence felt felt felt- with eighteen inches inches' of lead pipe which he lie carried away neatly I rolled in ina a newspaper newspaper so that I I the constabulary would not noI notice no no- I tice that he too bore a a. scepter and grow jealous mayhap Steve was a slugger which means that for certain moneys he engaged to larrup arrup a designated I boob on the Uie bean and transport I him into the middle of the week thereafter King Mike and Prince Steve had been friends and allies Steve had crippled wrong guys for Mike and Mike had come come across to Steve But it et transpired that Mike double crossed Steve and j nicked him for a piece of jack whereupon there had had been hot recriminations And had it not been that King Mike yanked a cannon Prince Steve would doubtless have fallen faIle l upon h him m lip and eye As it was they had parted in wrath the king shouting that by his this Steve was a ablack ablack ablack black knave and a lowdown heel hee and the prince in anger muttering muttering mutter mutter- ing that his majesty had behaved in mann manner r not meet for one of his exalted station and that he was a crooked skunk So when Princess Lizzie ran rah r h haway away and turned her footsteps toward the stronghold of her fathers father's enemy she was doing a I doubly mis mischievous transgression also pulling coarse stuff But s she e was young and she was self- self willed so she pushed on i At last she came within sight of the towers of her loves love's retreat retreat retreat re re- re- re treat which she recognized by bythe bythe bythe the sign Jakes Place Pace This Jake was a jocund rogue who was known to travelers far and wide as the Alibi Kid having having- in his day worked the highways of i the realm and frisked the wallets of many pilgrims thereon but having of late years acquired discretion discretion discretion dis dis- dis- dis reversion of conscience and a a. a saloon In Jakes Jake's place Prince Steve jousted and downed his sack and made merry from eventide until such hour as his skin was full or Princess Lizzie came to beckon him forth with the soft beauty of her face or oran oran an invite to Foley's Foey's hall The princess in her kittenish manner which is the natural way of the spoiled darlings of royalty open opened d the door of J Jakes Jake's kes ke's place slipped her lien fair fairhead fairhead fairhead head through the crack and called Steve Hey Steve Hey Prince Steve was just in the act of elevating a goblet of redeye red red- eye He gallantly put it down at the sound of her voice voice down down his guzzle And he turned to the genial Jake and said Chalk it up and went to the door The princess crooked her finger and broadly intimated that she would have converse with him hin to which Prince Steve seemed not loath for he lie joined her on the asphalt without and chirped What the hells hell's the matter now f I Y h t j i. i I t 1 j i J J y v w. w i y yi i t r r l. l j i yes 3 r W i 1 fJ I 1 l S 'S f 1 1 ji H I J r f i t. t t aa f fM Jj C 1 lj z M l' l J l i ri l. 1 l l r 1 i f o I. f. bi t d 4 J f iv t. t oj t. f f t j t I f Ut 1 i Il t 1 JW Im r S 11 r. r I i 4 I 1 i 1 f J. 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I ft ii j ti Y 7 if I t t Ji f t. t tV t it v. v l i t l i 1 i Jit o r l- l lt tb r V t b ij d t J 1 R I r tc t 1 r r. r r r 3 Z J s t t. t p H h t 1 I 1 t. t 1 v I i t 1 i l 4 1 i S1 J i 1 1 t al tt tt j f 1 j J 1 J i ch U t 1 fir Y 7 i i Ill III blow a tunnel trough im so big than thad the 7 1 t i t J it t Hallahan k C Casket as k et company can r L drive a hearse trough it it I In a few girlish words the princess made known to him what she had done how done how she sheI had beat it it from the royal roof I of her fathers father's taking with her lien herthe lienthe the 11 11 which her queen mother had stowed in the s sugar gar bowl bow against the rent how she had hadI resolved to to make her way into the I world the wonderland of the I busy beyond with a trust that three little bears somewhere I would feed their porridge to heror her heror or that somewhere she would I pick up a live one The prince puckered his brow He bit his lip There was something something something some some- thing that he would say but iti it i seemed that he lie was hesitating as asto asto asto I II to just how to put it But at I last he spoke saying i Wheres that bucks bucks' The princess smiled In fact she laughed aloud and then inthe inthe in inthe the manner of young girlhood she warbled Go easy easy Where'd ye get that I noise If you get that d dough ugh you'll hafto knockout drops an then cut it out o 0 my side What I wanna know isI is this here you here you been me I long enough If I go downtown I an get t the license cense wilt you you go trough Or do I hafto I stick a gat under your breezer to tomake tomake to-I to make ye be a man I Prince Steve drawing himself I II i I I up with his full dignity set his I II I hat back on his head and to one I II side and scratched his scalp scap with I the extremity of his trigger rigger fin 1 get gei I I Well Wen Ill I'll II tell ye he made madei Ianswer i answer Since ye put it up tonie ta to I Ime me nie like that square an clean i J I I Ill I'll meet ye here morn mornin mornin in at 10 to an an well we'll go get hooked I Ye cant can't make it Naw Got a job on jI II I j iI I I get if I croak a I guinea Aw well that's different I said Princess Lizzie See ye ye here at 10 An I mean biz An you better be ready to todo todo do biz too See Aw Mw can the bull You I wouldn't harm a drunken sucker you wouldn But Ill I'll be here I Slon and the prince swung I on his heel and returned into j Jakes Jake's place I Princess Lizzie hurried along the road hurried until she came upon the establishment of the i Izzy tz at the sign of three balls bans She entered I and curtsied to Sir Izzy and bid him goodday Cant use a ting said Izzy Kelly an Kiernan is on my hip till tiJI I 1 cant can't take it in a rig off a marnet marriet mar- mar riet net finger I dont don't wanna soak protested Princess Lizzie Im 1 to buy a Or aint ye doin loin no trade Sure Sure said Sir Izzy j Step it dis vay I got de defines defines defines' defines defines' fines fines' line of in the Ten minutes later our princess emerged a poorer but a stronger girl She had parted with half her patrimony but in her handbag handbag handbag hand hand- bag there swung and jostled a shiny trinket which bore the crest of a noble house King Colt CoIt The eyes of the princess were alight with a smile and th there re was that upon her ler countenance to the theeart lf eart of a maid when it bears the sweet secrets of love For in sooth soot the princess was was planning her honeymoon when she should be the bride of Prince Steve envied and admired of the villagers And she had done her antenuptial shopping and she had her trousseau in her handbag and I j S the residue of her dowry in her stocking Where the princess spent the next two days during that giddy period so beloved of the soul of every princess when princess when she is preparing for her wedding the big noise noise we we shall sha not set out here Suffice it to say gentle reader that Lizzie remained out in the great glad world glad world and that I she was sheltered in a cave which was then known as a furnished I room Saturday broke dismal and cloudy Oh it was not a seemly seemly seemy seem seem- ly y day for the wedding of a fair princess and her cavalier The elements seemed to frown upon her happiness But the princess was of good cheer for was not this to be her wedding day She combed her red locks Jocks singing as she did so She was w was s singing a little folk ballad Till TiJI the Clouds Ro Roll By Now soliloquized Princess Lizzie for a mess o 0 ham an ham anH an an then the work Having refreshed herself with I food and with Java Boston I style she came carne forth A few I i raindrops were pitter-patting pitter upon i ithe ithe the ground But she heeded them not She put out for Jakes Jake's I place I IThe IThe The vil village age clock was striking I the hour of 10 as she drew up to the drawbridge which was J swinging on two sets of hinges j j I attaching the abbreviated gates I Ito to the frame of the portcullis The great gate behind it had i been swung open As Lizzie approached ap ap- pro preached ached she could see within Ithe I Ithe the sawdust upon the floor and anda II IIa a cuspidor peeping out against I I a bracket of the shiny It I was a pretty spot for the soft I whisperings of lovers and blushing blushing blushing blush- blush I ing of the marriage I i day dayi j ji I II I i Princess Lizzie with gingerly I touch swung open one of the j I hanging portals and stuck her I i piquant head in I I Hey you big slob she simpered simI simpered sim sim- I at Prince Steve who was j I just then explaining to Jake that I II I he would kick in n on Thursday I when he had a job in sight The prince turned and faced I her I Come out here called his 1 love I I Prince Steve stood still I Ii I She waited for a thrice I Come out Mere iere lere called leis ru's I stiff or 1 Ill I'll 11 come in there after I Iye ye she gurgled Prince Steve answered but what he said was under kris ru's breath and his breath was heavy so none heard what he had vouchsafed 4 Nix called Jake I dont don't let no in my joint If tha guy don come conic out he lie an make good like he said he lie would said Princess Lizzie diffidently dif- dif I Ill blow a tunnel I trou trough h im so big that th thai A H I Ihan I han Undertaken an Cask CaskI Casket Caske 1 can drive a hearse hears I I it t. t hearsel I Still Prince Steve mo moved eo ed With a graceful bound t I cess Lizzie came through i archway and we well into th ly hall With a quick an and motion she op opened d I handbag and whipped out t trousseau I m Steve backed against he throne behind st stood od Jak Jake The princes prince I ped very near near to him and PJ the nozzle of her tr tru u I against one of the button c doublet I I mean yo you livered pup she ec Jake vaulted the thron i I leap and and ran to the prin princes prince e Cut it out he cried d dI j I aint int gonna stan for no g gui I in In my place They're clo ii i hangouts like this fer spi ii the floor so I 1 cant can't stan fl rough stuff Stow that r re ro 11 think this joi Princess Lizzie moved jil n ni nj I i to turn her fair head iso j i so that she could address This here guy has been beer zin me for monts mont's she sh j i I ast Jim im to marry me me back He said he lie would woud then hes he's been Ian an i base an givin given me ene meW t e away whenever I come ti's im when I get im the wall waH an then he lie gi gr give give- II e emore more promises Well i I Igo go no more He marries marrie marne or or he lie better begs l la a hymn that's all I 1 gotan got an I Ill I'll H tell teIl that t the wo Id Prince Steve was oh so ashen gray r. r Jake looked at him anthe an anc r the expression of his his 4 nance He looked at p Il Lizzie and upon the dete regal frown upon her malt male features f 1 J Wait a said I Go Gp easy I F cant can't to ta chances on no it II place If its it's achin to ge gereed geT ried reed what's bitin ye ye-sa ye marry ye myself 1 Ye that cried cess Lizzie Im game said Jake Jak Slowly Princess Lizzie Lizzie- p B down her trousseau she do doit dro droit di it into her handbag 3 she said fetchi Oh Pete called Jaki Jak Jakia Jaka a frowzy gent popped hi hi out of a back room Teim Ten fer me till tiJI I get back I nl Im downtown M MAnd And Jake took off his hiss apron and put on his dive the arm of Princess Lizzi walked her forth into th th thel theland and chill J JAnd And they were m married lived ever after Copyright 1917 by b Jack Lal LaI |