Show S1 L I X J J SYNCOPATED TED SY SYMPATHY MP A THY IBy By J Jack ck Lait Laif She S Was the Queen of the J and She S Had ac Hada aca a Heart CERTAIN CERTAIN trades are sui generis vJ to certain races Harp for example arc are all Italians the harp being the national national national na na- na- na instrument nt of the Irish boot polishers are Greeks but busboys are of German extraction extract extract- ion extracted before the compulsory compulsory compulsory sory service got a a. chance to ver- ver bot their emigration saloonkeepers' saloonkeepers ers' ers orthodox nationality was forever standardized by Finley Peter Dunne and Black Handers must be Sicilians janitors las as welt well as diplomatic cable transmitters arc are Swedes perforated cheeses and six dollar doltar watches are Swiss cigarette twisters are Turks lumberjacks are I nuts are Brazilian and musical comedy heroes are Yankees But the Hebrew race has a 1 monopoly too Not pawnbrokers i ers junk peddlers l moving picture proprietors sheet 1 music publishers furriers jobbers jobbers jobbers job job- i bers can claim Semitic blood I within their families without a gentile cross But there is one vocation vocation vocation-a a vocal ocal avocation avocation all all II the the- known members of which could pass a synagogue door unc un un- un- un c challenged anen ed It is the profession of singing syncopated songs No Look at the list Sophie Tucker Fannie Brice Nora Bayes Belle Bette Baker Lillian Shaw Nan Halperin Ruth Roye Rae Samuels Ray Cox Amy Butler Butter Rae Samuels Flo Adler Josephine Joseph Joseph- ine Glassman Classman Phina Dot Mandel Mand l every everyone one of them a every everyone one of them thema a headliner every everyone one of them a Jewess There is something about that kind of meter that seems to come naturally with the heritage of the rac race Its own music the unwritten unwritten unwritten un un- written classics chanted by the holy cantors preserved through generations since David strummed them upon his harp is far from four-four four it wails walls the prayers of the driven children their moans of heartbreak and of trepidation as they stumbled on toward the th promised land But while today there still stitt lingers lingers tin lin lin- lin gers in every kosher soul a passionate passionate passionate pas pas- love of the Judean hymns there rips from the lips of the saine same children of Israel the most intoxicating rags jazz and blues Let some astrologist biologist psychologist anthropologist or apologist account for this paradoxical paradoxical paradoxical para para- I blending of Rachels Rachel's lament lament lament la la- ment and Irving Berlins Berlin's delirium tremens tremens both both members of the Hebrew association by the way but but for the of this purpose narrative narrative narrative nar nar- we will treat it a as an unexplained unexplained un un- explained consequence yet yet- yetas as a proven verity Lola Leclaire directory name was the queen of the Chubby r round und of face pronounced of features by descent gifted with expressive hand movements drawing melody from the sentimental sentimental sentimental senti senti- mental wells welts of her race and ands s syncopated corruption of melody melody mel mel- melody ody from a ragtime soul Bout vibration vibration tio tion she swung her her shoulders through the vaudeville ranks to the t and was now a ahot ahot ahot hot card guaranteed to top any first firs class bill ill and mop tip lip compensation she received compensation tion that would have staggered a a a. burglar and her name was better bet bet- betI better I ter known than G. G Bernard Shaws Shaw's It had bad not always been as soft oft as this She had begun begun- in a a. a cabaret doing twenty son songs s. s a night in a back room for twenty smackers a week week some some weeks Stretching her pipes so that her voice would be heard over the rattle of steins the I scraping of furniture the check check- check I I bitten guests guest's scream of agony she developed a pig iron and a megaphone delivery Breathing in the opaque smoke of d domestic perfecto perfectos she acquired acquired acquired ac ac- ac- ac an emery finish to her thorax which was ideal for fOT steamboat imitations Having I washed dishes and scrubbed tenement tene tene- me merit ment t floors since babyhood she had a strong thumb and a drumhead drumhead drum drum- I he head d' d palm and therefore snapped a mean finger She had learned to move her head and shoulders every evey way up or down downor or to either side or back or forth or round and round as she Jod dodged ed the trays traps that the waiters l carried all an about her v e Thus was she intensively trained And when a vaudeville booker dropped in because he wanted to make sure that a certain certain certain tain in was not drinking beer with a certain club swinger he heard Lola tear off frolic a and know it was the big time stuff Next day Lola was sent to a suburb to break in a routine routine routine rou rou- tine of songs She swept the commuters out of their seats Her I worries were over Her career was on Her contracts were cre waiting She had established establish cd herself in every consequential city won thousands of frantic followers and brought on the inevitable inevitable- an offer from the producer of a revue slated for a run in the leading theatres When an impresario impresario im im- in spends a deal of money mon y yon on oil a stage enterprise he looks about for live Jive talent the old mummers who only read lines tines and spring gestures will do dp for the come and go presentation presentation presentation pre pre- I but when the box office of- of I fice ice staggers under a groaning load oad it cries for help to the young youn the strong and the husky Lola elided a few hundred additional additional ad ad- dollars per week with an easy yawn signed right there canceled her remaining bookings bookings book- book ings and said she would be ready for rehearsals on the aforesaid aforesaid aforesaid afore afore- said date as nominated in the bond She wanted first to go home lome and pay her folks a visit The new manager invited her hero herto herto to o a dinner which was to celebrate celebrate celebrate cele cele- brate and glorify his triumph In Inha ha laving having ving procured her It was given iven on the stage of the theatre theatre theatre thea thea- tre after a chorus rehearsal The chorus of one of those shows begins beins beins be be- beI I gins ins its preparations weeks before before be- be i fore ore the principals start The chorus is most of the show and andt it t must be trained to show off its ts graces to the best advantage and how t to put its best thigh forward orward A table was rigged on clothes clotheshorses clotheshorses clotheshorses horses the choristers choristers' and the simpering boys and the director and the mechanical crew and the musicians took seats Miss Leclaire Leclaire Leclaire Le Le- Le- Le claire breezed in and took the head of the table the manager sat sal at the other end As she seated herself the manager applauded applauded applauded ap ap- ap- ap vociferously and the chorus horus clapped lackadaisically The manager arose and rubbed his hands Ladies and of the chorus he said it is with pride ride and and p pleasure I I to to you one who has made good in show business but who always stayed a lady just the same one who hasn't got her head all swelled just because she knocks down a heavy one who it is a aI a I compliment to know in a business business busi busi- ness like ours one who will step I out there in front of all on onI the opening night and knock the I suckers stiff and be a credit to toI toj j the and her sup- sup I I. I I It t I o. o t i i 9 R I port one who needs no induction tion to anybody what they're in theatrical life Miss life Miss Lola Leclaire Leclaire Leclaire Le Le- claire L Lola la gracefully kicked back her chair and took the floor i Girls and fell fellas as she began I i an honest smile smite spreading her globular face what Mr Eisendrath Eisendrath Eisendrath Eisen Eisen- I drath said is all fine an dandy But I wanna tell every everyone one o 0 you here that Ive I've seen the days when I 1 wasn bein bem banqueted an int to my support It ain am amlong long ago I didn have no support I an my din have much muck neither the few bucks buck a a ar r week I gouged out o 0 doin loin the 1 nightly scream in a back roomI room I I if ain am no star I f been lucky that's all 1 I was as good when I 1 Iwas was knockin hell hen out o 0 the songs song's the publishers' publishers pushed on me in that joint as I 1 Iam Iam am am now or as I hope to be in your show Ony Im I'm lucky that's all It happened that the country is nuts about my kind o 0 stuff I ain lin you nor myself myself my my- my self that Im I'm no Ethel Barrymore I know Im I'm a hick I never had hadnot hadnot hadnot not l I I wisht 1 I had I got ot a mother an a of 01 man t to keep an a lot o 0 brothers an air sisters what never learned how to make a livin n I had to start early I worked like a dog I Lore kep my The Lord was good to me Here I am Ap- Ap Ap Ap- I ain am no better than what any of you are More applause ap- ap the chorus now bending to the work This is a great night tor for me for for three reasons Im I'm a firs' firs class two-dollar two company Im I'm all you folks what are gonna be with me meI through a big hit i hope an I I Ilea leave ve here I 1 hop a rattler for home Home Gee there Im I'm lucky again None of us troupers is got much home life I got mighty little been little been o t on the Orpheum tour all season an anam ain am seen my people for months But when I 1 do get home Im I'm ImI I crazy about it it Id I'd rather be beI I with my mother than even with you though youre you're more my I people than what she is She's es e's I ol of l' l fashioned sos so's my friy dad They I me or my ways They ain never been in a theatre theatre theatre thea thea- tre in their life But that's all right I 1 love em jus' jus the same sameI an I 1 want em jus' jus as hard Even if they dont don't tumble to me I 1 do doto doto doto I to them So as soon as we clean up upI I this fine feed hat Mr Eisendrath Eisendrath Eisen- Eisen forus for forus forus drath was so kind to excuse me nee if I us here here you'll beat it because I flip a 1220 for home Thanks Tremendous Tremendous Tremendous dous acknowledgment perform acknowledgment perform performers ers always respond that way to tomother tomother tomother mother stuff i i I The supper was a success One I chorus girl fell off her chair after she had killed eleven glasses of wine while white explaining to the chorus man at her side that she too too-ambi- ambi ambitious was just that way top modest home loving Mr Eisendrath drew cheers by changing changing chang chang- ing the call for the next days day's rehearsal from 10 a aa ap m. m to 3 p. p m. m The director made the proscenium ring by wobbling lg to his feet and crying that he lie had worked with many a chorus in his day but never had he lie shouted at atone atone atone one so well behaved so industrious industrious industrious indus indus- so curvilinear so o or so full fullor fullor or pep Then Lola bowed herI herf her- her f I I rt i t. t q J. J h h f 1 I tJ 1 h r it ir i 1 y ft r I. I AI ll 7 1 i tf i r f ft i li y f w. w A 7 0 l 1 l j 1 fj J L i. i f ii i f J. J r 1 i r r. r f I i pf t. Y 1 l J l i j t. U. U ir re I It i it If J tI r t Y t If t f ts t t I v r v J l' l P r l II k T t A J 1 w f f j 11 y p 1 h j t t ar i f r.- r. y a t j gr J t st st. w t n t tP II n T I 5 1 I i J 3 L k P t 1 1 fr y r l j- j A p pr r She She made her way way unto an- an n to a a dalle ataYe chair IJ f W rt s I 2 I u 5 ll O t 3 4 f J i t A r l 1 J. J I IK itA J 1 r J If i q fI t 1 l H r-j r c i I l FroW l H J 1 r t. t 1 1 k 1 f t l I self elf out exited upstage center I dived into the waiting taxi Next morning she was home Her heart pummeled her ribs from within as the hired machine stopped before the door of the three story home she had bought for her parents and other kin on the outskirts of the Gh Ghetto tto far farenough farenough farenough enough a away way to be sanitary near near enough to be convenient to the synagogue She bounded in dropped two Ii handbags and rushed at her mother an old woman with many lines in iii her face cut thereby there thereby I by early struggles and not wiped out by a few years of plenty I wearing the wig of her estate as asa asa asa i a married woman neatly dressed I in clean and ironed gingham I I After the hug which had more I wallop in it than Lola ever put II I into even her most sweeping gyration to tortured music she lifted the old lady into into a cl chair a rJ sat down beside her and inquired I how everyone was whether her I last check had come on time how papa was was and and by the way where was papa papa Papa would b be home soon soon soon-he he was at the minion The minion is a Hebrew prayer meeting He lie entered soon thereafter a abent abent abent bent old rabbinical student a a scholar of the Talmud who had seen the world through the lines therein His whiskers were gray and ran to shag shagged ed ends almost at his knees In n his hand he carried a holy book He wore along a along along long alpaca Prince Albert black shoes with square toes which had never known brush or polish baggy broadcloth trousers rusty rimmed spectacles and a skull I cap j I Lola came to him and embraced embraced embraced em em- braced him There was not in her attack the same animal I abandon with which she hadI had squeezed the wind out of her I little mother mother no no vas was a man of learning learning learning learn learn- ing and dignity of standing In his church and in his community I respected by all even ven his own family No liberties were to be betaken betaken betaken taken with him and reserve was J the atmosphere that he exuded How are you Genie Gennie he asked quietly Great said she I jus' jus signed with a new revue three revue three hundred a week more a season I play or pay contract contract Actors Actors Actors' I Equity form ironclad featured in billing an I sign dressing room A an staterooms staterooms state state- rooms on the road Its It's Its It's I The old man raised his hand I palm outward Please he said you should I not tell me all aU that Bad enough i a a man should have it a child I I i I I I II I what she's a he ne should not need yet listen the whole rotten rotten rotten rot rot- I ten details Anyway I dont don't i i understand from it a word But papa its it's a big promo promo- tion It means more money It means a lot o 0 n an publicity It means means It lt means the more you vou get higher the less is it it you'll quit it You Y ou dont don't mean you want me meto meto to blow the business business' I HI dont don't mean it it What you mean I dont don't mean it it If toI tomorrow to- to tp- tp morrow you would stop it this and live like a respectable respectable table decent woman I could hold holdup jup up mine head to mine people and andI I I could die and go to my God in inI peace Why papa papa papa-It I know You'll throw it up by us you send us money All Allright right right we we take it your money I We Ve move here For what So SoI I should have it to walk further every day to What I want I with your money money What I want with a house souse like these What I want with carpets and to climb and dumb elevators elevators elevators ele ele- and chairs chair what nobody sometimes sits in them I 1 give I a nothing for them all But I II I what I want is a child what she's I my child she shouldn't be a bummer bummer bum bum- mer a like a escaped bum I I anarchist a animal what come conic I and pay they should see see her and listen how foolish and how she could sing and make with her figger II Was your mother a I I ess Huh By me should come comein I I in the family a What I II I did it should come to me like that |