Show THE NEVER KNEW gy- gy y T TO 0 M S I IMS i S THIS WAY IN A careless smoker passing through the great tree shoe forests of or Minnesota dropped a match The match fell Into a spaghetti bush just as as' as asit it was was about to bu burst st Into flowers The spaghetti bush burst into flames Instead of flowers so the great tree shoe forests of Minnesota Minnesota Minne Minne- sota were destroyed But worry vorry not kind reader This has nothing to do with the present story In They Never ever Kne Knew a fellow named JImpson named Pearl learl Weed ced marries marrIed a girl Handle Pearl has a f father ther who Wants to kill however is adverse to the tile idea The o old d man hires two detectives Mr and Mrs frs Gumshoe T Te i e e Weeds stop at a Chicago ago hotel hotel hotell ho ho- tel tell sets a dictaphone to prove he iIo doesn't snore Its It's too complicated to explain Maybe you'll catch on 0 READ ON MacDUFF CHAPTER Goodness gracious what a tragedy tragedy trag trag- ed edy As the previous chapter ended Pearly early was threatening to leave leave He fe had set a dictaphone to t prove he ho didn't snore It not on only ony y caught him snoring but registered a voice making love to Mrs 1 Gum Guth What a tragedy What a tragedy Oh what a calamity Father exclaimed Pearl Pearl falling fallIng fall- fall Ing lag Into her old mans man's arms arms My Myown Myown Iy own husband has deceived me I did not do so yelled You did iid do 10 so so screamed the lovely bride I cant can't stand it Its It's t too o much when a womans woman's own husband husband hus bus band deceives her Come with me mc daughter laughed the triumphant h nt father I I 1 would shoot the culprit but he Isn t worth the lead t 1 Pearl hastily put on one of the dresses she had brought the day before Dont go Pearl her s hus hus- band I 1 didn't do it It was your voice on the dictaphone dictaphone dictaphone dicta dicta- phone cried the bride and nd crossIng crossing cross cross- Ing lag the tile room room she se started the dern thing again i iThe The dern thing broke out wH snores Then the voice repeated Mrs Gumshoe I Ilove love you 1 1 think Pearl is a big fat slob I 1 love loy j you ou Mrs Gumshoe 1 I Pearl screamed again and started to Lo faint bu bu bushe she heard someone atthe at atthe ay the door and waited to see tho ho 1 H Hw w was vas as The door flew back Mrs Gumshoe Gumshoe Gum Gum- shoe herself herselt burst Into the room room room- She was breathless She was disheveled Pearl threw a chair at at her Walt Wait cried Mrs 1 Gumshoe Pearl threw the bed at herWalt her Wait Walt cried the lady lad again gain dodgIng ing ng the bed I 1 can explain all aU Better hurry said Pearl strangely calm now She was sharpening her fingernails with a file me I am going to claw your eyes eyes ou out t My Iy husband made that record said Mrs Gumshoe He imitated Jimps voice Then he slipped in inhere inhere here hero last night and put it on the tIle dictaphone Nice story said Pearl But why do you tell me I i Because B cause I 1 am an through with my nd wept Mrs Gumshoe and andI I wanted to protect You may be through h with your T 2 7 x tv 4 4 IP F tIe t 1 4 1 y I Meanwhile Pearl was chasing hasing Mrs Gum about the streets of Chicago husband huband cried Pe Pearl rl but you ou cant can't have mine And saying which Pearl took out after Mrs Gumshoe who ran through the door and anti slid down the elevator rope Pearls Pearl's father lather had remained silent The Theold Theold during the the conversation con old scoundrel knew Mrs Gum was telling the truth He had framed the plot Now left alone in- in inthe the the room with his intended victim he felt uncomfortable What do you know about this said facing his in father I d don't dont ht know wa a thing said tHe Uie tHeold theold old man man evasively Is OIls that so s replied d kicking kic kicking kick kick- ing him out the door Ill go home and get my pistol and come back and shoot you yelled the old man shaking his fist at Go get your jour our old pistol and see who who cares care said Meanwhile Pearl was chasing Mrs Ils Gumshoe about the streets of Chicago She w uld catch sight of or The fleeing fleeIng fleeing flee flee- ing old she-devil she only fo Jo lose her herthe herthe herthe the next moment in the crowds Have you seen Mrs Irs Gum she asked a policeman Yes said the cop hidIng hiding hiding hid hid- ing in that doorway right there Now ow I got you cried arl Jumping up around the woman de detectives detective's de- de neck and beginning to pull her ner hair The two women fell tell to the pavement pavement pave pave- ment meat and rolled down the street scratching and clawing They had rolled about two blocks when they came to a store above which was a sign Big Sale Inside Pearl saw It Mrs Its Gum saw It They glimp glimpsed sed Jt it simultaneously Getting up they r ran n Into the store together Thus Thus' the fight ended Pearl returned to tb t the the hotel with her ler bargains Wheres Mrs Irs Gum asked wh who was stretched stretch d out upon the tile bed Led Pearl earl was puzzled What Mrs Gum asked ed she of her husband I Mrs Its Detective Gum said You were chasing her Pearls Pearl's screams could have been I heard beard several blocks I 1 forgot her screamed cre ned she And it was true In t tie the e excitement excitement excite excite- ment of the bargain sale at the store she had forgotten all au about Mrs Gum laughed and arid laughed laughed and and laughed The more he laughed the wider he he opened his mouth When his mouth was opened its widest Pearl looked at him and fell tell out of of a chair exclaimed she Jumping to her feet f What 1 replied the fond husband husband hus- hus band noting his wife's excitement nt Your opened mouth has given me nie an Idea shouted l Pearl learl carl beginning beginning begin begin- ning to throw things into a bag Lets visit the Grand canyon Lets do replied the fond husband husband husband hus- hus band eager to get away from Pearls Pearl's fath father r and the detectives In a few moments they were at atthe atthe atthe the aviation field Where to asked the tile aviator Grand n said p kicking kicking kick kick- I ing his lis lovely wife Into the plane I and climbing in beside her So they were off oft But as they left the ground three figures one a woman rushed out and swung onto the bottom of the plane Mr Ir Handle Detective Gum Goal and Mrs Gum Gm were still with them There are many theor theories es and explanations ex cx- cx pt nations regarding the origin of at atthe the Grand canyon One Is II that during the Eocene I epO epoch h the whole region of Arizona Utah and Nevada was subjected to toa toa I Ia I a vast upheaval What was for for formerly formerly merly the bottom of the ocean was raised to a height of ot more than feet above sea level leyel Then the region consisting hiet- hiet ly Iy of strata of the he Paleozoic and MesozoIc systems with possibly a touch of the Morse code anda faint twinge of rheumatism was wa subJected subjected subjected sub sub- to extensive denudation To this was added hundreds of precipitous escarpments es sedimentary sedimentary sedimentary tary rocks and configurations but salt lt no s or pepper or With the situation arranged ac accordingly accordingly accordingly ac- ac cordingly it was was was' a simple matter for the Colorado river to come racIng racing rac rae ing lag through and cut deeper and deeper until the Grand canyon was formed That's one explanation Another theory is that back in 1836 a college professor went West for hi his health He camped upon the present site of the Grand canyon and a rain came along It was was an an awfully big rain min The professors professor's tent was soaked and the thew w water ter began to run in under the sides So the professor got out his pick intending merely to dig a ditch around round his hs tent lent Being absentminded absentminded absentminded absent- absent minded he dug the Grand Orand canyon b before fore realizing what he was doing S I The airplane circled around an and an finally came canie to rest upon the fie very brink of the canyon I an anti Pearl jumped out How wonderful the lovely lovely lovely love love- ly young bride Bending over the abyss she spit and watched it fall It hasn't hit yet said she to her husband liked the place He was figuring how many doughnut holes the big gap In the world would make The plane had departed leaving A I the lovers as they supposed alone Neither suspected the presence o othe of the three villains Suddenly their the peaceful admiration admiration admiration admira admira- tion of the huge crack in the dirt was ended Detective Gum raced up on his knees and stopped before Pearl I 1 love you he cried Mrs Gum came dashing upon the scene and flung her arms around Jimps neck I 1 love you sobbed she Pearls Pearl's father appeared pistol In hand To Be De Continued |