| Show Mr Air Truman's Leaf Chopper It Works Slick But Its It's A Bit fit on Expensive Side By Frederick FrederIc C. C Othman McLEAN 1 Va Ive I've got a raking leaf-raking job that would have given pause even to the experts of Harold L. L whatever happened happened happened hap hap- to him Ickes' Ickes W P A A. A All AU over my grass acres of it are arc lea leaves cs a foot and a half deep These I am attacking with a arake arake arake rake and not even making a adent adent adent dent just blisters on both hands Back in Washington D. D C. C is another fellow with a big lawn by the name of Harry Truman No rakes raes for him Or blisters either What hes he's got is a new 1950 model behemoth with a a. gasoline gasoline gasoline gaso gaso- line engine that sucks suck his leaves into a big hose grinds em up into powder that looks like e cinnamon and sprays same back onto the grass where it functions as fertilizer Costs Cots Like Liko Sin SinI I have spent many an envious moment with my nose at the White hite House fence watching Mr Ts T.'s leaf upper chopper-upper chop Only trouble is that it costs like sin The president has a nice tax-free tax expense account which I do not begrudge and he can afford this luxury The fellow who sells leaf pow- pow reports that he can deliver deliver deliver de de- de- de liver me a small economy model for Gad With that I 1 would get rid of my leaves in maybe IS hours hour and the other days of the year my machinery would be useless Somehow this looks like a bad investment for the head man as well as for me My 1 idea is that Mr Truman could make a nice thing out of renting his chopper to the neighbors when hes he's finished his own job I dont don't suppose he wi will 11 though on account of all the federal red tape and reports report in triplicate hed he'd have to make to the general accounting office So Ive I've got to depend on my city friends High-Heeled High Shoes They're There always planning to drop out on the week end to help me with my raking They claim they need the exercise Sometimes they drop by after church in according to sex high-heeled high shoes or fresh- fresh pressed blue pants They exclaim over the elegant smells of the outdoors and my rudd ruddy complexion complex complex- ion and away they go making like they're jealous of the rural life The rest t of my volunteer helpers help help- ers arrive usually around sunset sunset sunset sun sun- set just as Im I'm bedding the animals animals animals ani ani- mals down for the Ule night and preparing to haul my weary bones inside for a hot buttered rum nun I am delighted to have them their join me In m the latter but somehow the leaves never seem to get raked Aluminum Roof Root The animals including one elderly horse and three bab baby bulls which I 1 had hoped long since would be turned into steaks teaks are less of a problem I this winter than they were last In the nick of time as it turned out I 1 replaced the leaky roof on the thc barn with rth a shiny aluminum one The last nail hardly had been driven into it before the that powers-that-be slashed the use of aluminum for civilians or their beasts So the bulls and the ho hoes hoss are snug and dry Better still they're not thirsty It used to be that the water faucet in the barn froze up nightly My usual system each morning was vas to haul my brides bride's sunlamp down to thaw out the pipes She complained about this so did the animals they claimed their mouths felt like straw Frostproof Faucet I took my problem to a rural plumber who said he was amazed that a fellow who seemed to know so much about all the new inventions at the patent office hadn't h heard ard about the frostproof faucet This he said was patented in 1896 1596 and had been giving good service ever since He brought me one and Eureka It works The valve e part is beneath the earth the pipe from which the water flows drains itself each time its it's used So Mrs O. O is getting her artificial artificial artificial ar ar- tan sun-tan the animals drink no matter how cold the weather and if it weren't for those dratted leaves Id I'd be feeling feeling feel feel- ing inS smug on this the beginning of my third winter in the woods Copyright 1950 by United Feature Syndicate Inc f |
