| Show I Walter alfer Winchell's s In Jn New York 0 t Ma de' de as cos Critic by His Has line One Review i of Abie's s 's Irish Rose George forge the war corre- corre and the Milton Berles Series latre were lIere in the Ritz Tower bar and rS Berte Berle was trying to get G George or e to talk about his North African adventures Lait kept dodging qu questions until Milton o observed In In this war darling th the there's theres S 'S s It a new a-new new caste system Genera General General Gen Gen- eral era talk only to censors Cen- Cen gon rs' rs talk only to foreign corr cor cor- r Foreign corres correspondents corre corre- s talk only to book publishers pub pub- lishers- lishers rs Jack Durant knows a gal who rem him of ot a No 17 coupon Used to be hard to get gob Bob Benchley was a little Irk irked d about the legend that he heins Able Ables s 's sash vis ins oni the first to attack hit Irish ash Rose the run long-run files will show he said What bat I did not attack it I merely said it was the worst flaw V O in town That show 1 Incidentally n c Ide n t all y jade aide i de Benchley as a critic As Asfor critic altic for Life readers breath- breath lily waited for his devastating onto fibers Onal ers on all the shows esy es- es y on Abie Able But he did would ru run lay layo o you Too probably wont won't appreciate i The rhe porter on the train didn't tor ot that matter It convulsed us sleep had just soundly set setin set Iri in when the porter entered I Benchley's bedroom and shook hI hun him Gotta git off oft he said eyed everybody gotta git ott lly asked Bob Indians Indians In Roland Youngs Young's pet critique appeared in a review of Cleo Cleo- patra and went like this She played Cleopatra and sailed down the Nile in her barge and sank Irv Hoffman's Hoffmans thumbnail of ot Roland Young He always talks s like his gums are full of had a date with a soldier who was was born and raised In the Tennessee hills This was his initial visit to the big town Hildy took him to see Star and Garter a sinful girl show He sat eat there quietly absorbing everything everything everything ev ev- ev- ev until Gypsy Rose Lee did her famous strip number he barefoot all over over Hollywood Dictionary Director Director Director tor A frustrated actor who looks good in shorts and a beret Leading man A handsome F 4 who learned more about dramatics from Havelock Ellis than Max Reinhardt Star A gal who's so 60 important she has the right to choose her own scripts scripts so so she can quickly become become become be be- come a has Starlet The pearly smile and dimpled knees that always appear in m the fan but rarely on the screen A picture One that makes nearly half as much coin as the press agents claim B picture One that makes twice as much as it de de- de- de serves Retake graphing a great and terrific terrific terrific ter scene scene so so it will be good good- Film salesman The chap who always admits that the last film he peddled was a turkey turkey turkey-neg- neg neglecting to add that the present one is the egg it laid Dubbing Dubbing Dubbing Dub Dub- bing The sound track process by which an unknown chick makes a like dive-like star sound soundless soundless less like a vulture when she's making like a a. canary Screen test A method of determining determining deter deter- mining whether an actor like Raymond Massey or or Katharine Cornell is talented enough to play in a a. Gene Autry drama Agent A bloke bloka whose only justification is the fact that have to pay the 10 per percent percent percent cent in taxes anyway Manager Another who helps you sa save va taxes to Press agent A gent who thinks hes he's more talented than half the people he represents represents and and generally generally gen gen- is Epic A film that's done so well you can hardly recognize the plagiarism Frances Faye was recovering from pneumonia recently One day her maid walked in and said The doctor is here I I cant can't see him Frances mindedly absent-mindedly replied tell him Im I'm ill We ran into F P A n now w a star on the radio We knew him all the way back when he was just a columnist You know he said I never printed gags or jokes Mine was comment observations puns But everybody would insist insist insist in in- upon telling me jokes Do you want to know what happens happens happens hap hap- pens when you stop doing a column j 4 What happens we said You also stop being bored One of the shows with a Chinese Chinese Chinese Chi Chi- nese cast was being discussed discuss d dby by some jealous competitors it doing someone asked Far be it from me meto to knock anybody offered one cad but butI I hear its it's laying an egg roll One of the Broadway boys was visited by a fairy who touched him gently with a wand wand and said that he could make one wish and it would come true forthwith My wish wash he re replied replied replied re- re plied is a modest one All I ask is a copy of the Daily Mirror Mir MIr- That is it must be the next days day's edition edition edition-a a day in ad ad- vance Sure enough a copy of the next days day's Daily Mirror was presented to him He feverishly turned to the racing results and marked down all the winners Then he turned to the stock market section and made a note of all the changes Then folding folding folding fold fold- ing the paper and preparing to rush out and place his bets and order his stocks his eyes fellon fell fellon fellon on his own name name name-in in the obits Copyright 1943 1913 N. N Y Mirror |
