| Show Or On the Side By E. E V. V Durling Darling Before I go Heres Here's a double health to three Were it the last drop in the wellAnd well wellAnd wellAnd And I 1 gasped upon the brink Ere my fainting spirit fell to thee that I 1 would drink Byron Just previous to tossing off offa a drink in company of friends what do you say Is it heres looking at you here goes or heres to happy days I hope it is none of these Everybody should have a more distinctive toast ready When your companion companion companion com com- panion is feminine you should adapt your toast to her personality personality personality person person- and points of beauty Something Something Something Some Some- thing such as Heres to your blue eyes may your future be beever beever beever ever as bright as they are Maybe I will have our horses and women department prepare some advice on this latter angle A London woman was recently discovered to be the possessor of 60 50 handbags This is probably probably probably proba proba- bly the worlds world's record The average average av av- av woman has only 14 hand bags Four sisters in a middle west city each married a man named John All the marriages failed Of course that was Just a e. coIncidence coincidence coin coIn- but the four sisters all still young women recently met and swore in concert that they would never again marry a man named John Did you read that dispatch about the woman In the dining car who loudly squawked because the waiter wouldn't serve her a second cup of coffee A soldier seated near nearby nearby nearby by finally arose and said Madame Madame Madame Ma dame here is one more thing I Ican Ican Ican can do for my country Take my cup of coffee The woman took it And despite the hopes of everybody In the dining car when she drank it she didn't choke You may have missed the following following following fol fol- fol- fol lowing anecdote which appeared in a contemporary publication When Ed Durling was a little littleboy littleboy littleboy boy living In Brooklyn his Aunt Anastasia took him on a trip to the country for a treat Suddenly Suddenly Suddenly Sud Sud- denly little Ed cried out Look aunty a boid bold His Aunt Anastasia Anastasia Ana Ana- stasia said That is a bird Edgar Edgar Edgar Ed Ed- gar not a boid bold Little Ed said Well it like a bold boil Queries from clients Q As a young woman from New England England Eng Eng- land who is a stranger in New NewYork NewYork NewYork York City I can not understand why people stare at me when I order apple pie and cheese Is this unusual Do New Yorkers consider this a curious combination A. A This query has me baffled Apple pie and cheese is a common order in Manhattan B Besides e s sid i d e s m most st waitresses in the Big Town take any kind of an order without without without with with- out blinking bUnking an eyelash A pal of mine in New York often ordered strawberry pie a la lamode lamode lamode mode with ice cre cream m mand and nobody ever stared at him Q What Jap pulled that crack about dictating the peace terms in the White House I 1 want to send his name to my son who is in the navy A. A It was Admiral Isoroku His exact words were I shall not be content with merely occupying occupying occupying oc oc- oc- oc Guam the Philippine islands Hawaii and San Fran Fran- cisco I am looking forward to the hour when I shall dictate the peace at the White House Housein in Washington Dan song writer very adept at thinking up unusual unusual unusual un un- un- un usual titles for ditties He wrote Poor Little February The H. H V V. Kaltenborn Blues Sound by Western Electric and Who are the Brothers all of which are sung by Joe E. E Lewis Peggy Knudsen Cutie type actress Is no relation to auto man Bill Knudsen Peggys Peggy's f fat father a t h her e r Is a afire afire afire fire chief in Duluth MImI Minn Who remembers a song titled My Old Mans Man's a Fireman What do You Think of That Henri Geib chef at Mr S S. S Billingsleys Billingsley's Stork Club Speaking of the Stork Club you can check your dog there You can do the same in many other famous Manhattan cafes In most Pacific Pacific Pacific Pa Pa- coast cities it is against the law to bring a dog into a restaurant even if it he never enters enters enters en en- the main dining room section sec sec- tion Girls named Veronica never streamline their name That's what I 1 recently said I am wrong again Confesses a Washington Pa subscriber My parents named me Veronica Veroni Veroni- ca and I changed it to Veronique Veronique Veronique Veroni- Veroni que que The automobile manufacturers manufacturers manufacturers man man- of America have an official record of a car that went 83 miles on a gallon of gas This feat was performed by a 4 cylinder Franklin roadster in ina ina a a. supervised t test est e s t on Long Island in 1913 However let me hasten to state the car traveled at a rate of 10 miles an hour States a saleslady of long ex ex- Men are the best shoppers They know what t they ey want to buy and take very little little little lit lit- tle time to do so Women are the worst shoppers They ey take up a lot of the s sales les girls' girls time unnecessarily They dont don't really really really real real- ly know what they want much of the time and are always returning returning returning return return- ing things Most women are a pain in the neck anyway Some famous w woman o 0 m man a n once said I Iam Iam Iam am thankful I am not a 8 man because because because be be- cause then I would have to marry marry marry mar mar- ry a woman After 10 years of dealing with women that's the way I 1 feel about it too King Features Syndicate |
