Show Ruth MI Millet Millett Iett Says Forty Forty and and Parents Rule I 1 cant can't smoke when mother comes to visit I heard a woman say regretfully the other day The woman was 40 years years years' old old old- and the mother of a family herself That's an odd situation situation but but not an unusual one There are lots of parents who continue to try to influence their childrens children's behavior long after they are I grown men and i 9 J W wo women 0 men with minds and and- j Judgment just justas justI Las I as sou sound n d as those of their pa parents parents-or r e n t s or s sounder Its It's a big mistake mistake mistake mis mis- take for parents to m make a k e for fi there are enough natural obstacles in the path of congenially e e n the old and the Kuth Huth young without the old thinking up artificial ones No wonder its it's not always an unmixed blessing when mama 4 or papa writes a young married couple or a working son or daughter that Im coming for a visit if mama or papa Is going to object to the way things are done in the childs child's home or bachelors bachelor's apartment The best way for a parent who wants to be truly welcome at any time to behave is to ac accept accept accept ac- ac his grown childs child's way of living without criticism whether er he secretly approves of all the goings on or not Its It's not as though the parent who has a fit if his daughter smokes or his son or his sons son's friends take a drink really influences in influences In- In fl them in the least The best he can do is make the son or daughter give up and drinks during his stay If a parent manages to do that he should know that the son or daughter will draw a sigh of relief when the visit is over and he can relax into his few bad habits Of course the child chUd is as much to blame as the parent when he puts on a false front every time tune his parent comes to visit Once a child is out on his own earning his own living and leading his own life it is his right to decide for himself what is right and what Is wrong what is harmful and what not When hes he's made up his mind he should simply have It out with his family once and for alland all alland alland and and get things on an honest footing Then he can wholeheartedly wholeheartedly wholeheartedly whole whole- heartedly enjoy his parents Hell He'll never be able to If he has hasto hasto hasto to mind his ps p's and qs q's whenever whenever whenever when when- ever they're around him |