Show Problem Parents Cause Caus Problem Children S Are You One of Them By SARAH WINSLOW If you are a par parent nt you can take it for granted that in some re respects respects respects re- re your child is is' isa a problem problem you are a problem parent parent just just as your lem em child in some way or another If that's a surprise to you you might bear in mind the saying there are no problem children children- only problem parents Today there is a trend among educational thinkers against makIng making making mak mak- ing the parent the goat for all juvenile shortcomings but that doesn't free the parent from great responsibility There Ther are many reasons why you may be a problem parent parent from from neglect to pampering Many of these faults can can be overcome if I you have in mind a clear conception conception conception concep concep- tion of what you are trying to do 1 First you ar are trying to make your child a member of society conventional at least to the extent extent extent ex ex- ex- ex tent of getting along long easily with others and mindful of rights and privileges of others Second you you are trying to teach your child to stand on his own feet to feet to be Independent Those it seems to me are two great objectives of child train train- trainIng ing When a parent measures s his actions and motives against them he sometimes finds the solutions easy For instance If you demand obed obedience ence f from om your child are you doing it altogether to make him a law-abiding law citizen or mostly to gratify yourself or to ease your own life at the expense of his independence independence inde inde- No expert can can tell you It depends depends depends de de- de- de on the child on the circumstances circumstances circum circumstances stances of the moment and on n the paren parent t. t S It is at this point that child guidance systems fall faU down For Forthe Forthe Forthe the parent who relies blindly on on any anyone one system or set of rules or book or authority must invariably come a cropper The most fundamental fundamental fundamental funda funda- mental thing about child guidance theories is that they should be flex flex- ible Only the problem parent knows it all or refuses to learn new things every day |