Salt Lake Telegram | 1936-02-21 | Page 18 | Fredericksburg Folks Wish Dollars Would Go Farther Today--but Don't We All?

I Fredericksburg Folks Wish Dollars Would Go Farther Today But Dont Don't We All By FREDERICK c C Co OTHMAN United Press Preas Sports Writer FREDERICKSBURG Va Feb 21 Local 21 Local historians threw money to the fish today in a vain attempt to prove that George Washington could have tossed a silver dollar r across the Rapp Rappahannock hannock river if it hed he'd had one It was vas a sad lad and depressing sight tho the biggest waste of ot cash cashwe cashwe cashwe we ever saw law outside of a night club As for tor tho the fish U they'd eyd rather rath rath- er have havo had worms The leading citizens lined up on the bank of the muddy Rappa- Rappa I 1 hannock took off their coats In Inthe Inthe the chill breeze wound up and sent coins of ot the realm plinking Into the waves Otherwise these red faced thrower of dollars dollars dollars dol dol- dol- dol lars seemed s sane ne Ben Pitts Pitta who sent seven silver sUver cartwheels Into the mud ex ex- As president of the chamber chamber cham cham- ber her of commerce he ho arranged a Washington's birthday celebration celebration tion for tor tomorrow here at the first citizens citizen's old home town That's where he got himself into trouble He H decided to give the speechmaking speechmaking speechmaking speech- speech making a a. fine colonial climax by haying having Walter Johnson Johnon the big train of at baseball fling a 8 dollar across the Rappahannock exactly as Washington was supposed to have done Johnson immediately went into pr practice at his Germantown Md farm and everything was lovely until word of the impending event leaked into Washington D. D C. C Thero There those working hard congressmen con can gressmen had to put their fingers into tho the affair Pitts said with results about as usuaL Congressman Sol Bloom who should have havo been thinking about affairs of state instead of Fred- Fred Fredericksburg's ericksburg's carnival PUb PiUs added added added add add- ed charged the tho whole business business' was screwy He said that WashIngton Washington Washington Wash Wash- ington couldn't have thrown a dollar across the Rappahannock because there were no dollars then and that even if it there were th the father of his country's wasn't strong enough Bloom said hed he'd bet 20 to 1 that Johnson couldn't do itOh itOh it Oh no retorted Pitts Ill Til bet Johnson can He gave the cash to Banker John F. F Gouldman Jr in case there were any takers and then he began to worry What if it Johnson couldn't throw v a dollar that far Five thousand dollars is a lot of ot money Pitts and a aJ J dozen of or his friends friends' ransacked Fredericksburg for silver er dollars went vent out outto to the river and learned to their dismay that a dollar flies flics through tho the air like an Australian Austra Austra- Han lian boomerang You aim it at atthe atthe atthe the other side of at the river it sails up like the tho daring young man does an roll and disappears into the waves with a gurgle When Pitts and the other scientific scientific scientific investigators ran out of dollars dol dol- dol- dol lars Jars they turned to iron washers Still no luck They looked pretty disconsolate as they walked back home but by the time they'd reached the old stone block where Washington's Washington's Washington's Washing Washing- tons ton's neighbors auctioned slaves slaves- Pitts whispered a secret in our ear The general air o of at disillusionment disillusionment disillusionment merely was a a astall stall to lead on on Congressman Bloom Dont let the congressman know Pitt Pitts said but we have confidential information that Walter Walter Walter Wal Wal- ter Johnson already has thrown a dollar far enough to sail all across the Rappahannock He did it night before last in the tho light of the moon And weve we've got ten good silver dollars ready for tor him to Use usa Saturday Extra fine dollars dollars dol dol- lars they are too Streamlined We Ve greased em