| Show r t i Tuber uber T He Headache dache I i vi h THE pot potato to bug used to b be one of pf the farmers farmer's farmer farmes s sA A I major worries but ut it now appears appear that th the tuber itself may become their greatest st h head head- ad- ad ache It Is s already aheady pain in the neck for or Henry HenryA A A. Wallace the he consequence of f the he pa passage sage by rider at attached attached at- at congress of a word unwanted ed to th the A AA AAA A A the amendments amendments the Warren potato control l act t. t l A A A at Wash Washington is s hip farmers f and in incipient incipient in- in deep in letters from protesting rel rebellion has flared up in fn New Jersey a among ong gentlemen n have adopted adopt- adopt y ed a r resolution d declaring claring that the spud law v pr prohibit hibIt s- s th their ii 1 inalienable lf t live ive th their fr i oWn own independent lives as s free fre American citi- citi ti- ti tens rens zens Now Henry Wall Wallace ce p perhaps feels as bad I as' as they do about bout it He He lie has had plenty of I I trouble over pig sticking plow plowing ng under and ancl processing taxes faxes He opposed the Wa Warren ren rider I i If if jt for no other reason reason than th that t it contained words which is a lot of f words words enough I 1 to fill two solid newspaper pages A farmer f will wili have to hire a lawyer to tell him h how w many matly potatoes he may plant Then the lawyer will tl take eit it under undera a advisement vis m nt Meanwhile the ithe potatoes potatoes potatoes po po- will be crying their eyes out waiting to get into the nice warm ground If the they r start start- sprouting g the an anxious io farmer may may get arrested and be put pul to the trouble and expense o of hiring iring another law lawyer er to keep hi him hin n o out mit t of jail Then w when en the first lawyer is t ready ady to report aut autumn n 1 leaves will b be falling and nd who knows how m many boys and girls will have to go without p potatoes t tOes and gravy for th their ir S Sunday dinner Th Then another nother f farmer rm r m may riy y happen to get hold l- l of f particularly virile and ana f fecund cuna seed potatoes Where There he exp expected cl d to harvest one bushel he may get two What to do Plow under half of the rows No that wont won't do When you t plow potatoes under you plow them up Tb That's ts t's just how hoc c contrary p pott potatoes t to s are arc About U. U S. S farm farmers rs roW grow many or few potatoes of which some 3 plant planty y v them hem as is tn heir i pr principal l cr crop p. p Nobody knows how m many ny million sovereign ci citizens with with- inalienable inalienable in in- in alienable rights plant a few rows rows ross in their back backyards 1 Y yards r s lox dor their own tables and to be able to tose toJ J se send q a peck or two over to Aunt Nellies When a aspi spinach that youth Rebels against g ge getting ir h his Jr from fro a watery m mess mess- messof of greens greensand and aris ari f fashions shi ns sanction curves curves curves' for or women on o hes fy jie likely tp want vant to OW potatoes toes forD tet b t li f-li he does S h lacesa ac s' s a 1000 fine Ke ne the fine stare stares hi in inthe If U repeats he-repeats repeats peats the they crime 1 hini the face ag again i with a y year ar in prison tacked on Under Tinder er all I ii 11 se cir circumstances s bootlegging is its to be exp expected expected but but you buy a a sack sa of legg legged d spuds a a- government agent gent is likely to toT T pop POI from behind a tree ree and nd i t take ke you to the hoo hoosegow It may turn turnout out that the only way i a a. man hungry can satisfy his craving raving be to f re resort ort to a speakeasy ke y Winking at the pretty retty waitress h he will order a Murphy u phy tamale red ered red When i it comes o es to his table he will peel peels el 1 s off oU the cor corn husk hSk wrapper and pour pur ou out a a. g genc gen gen- q- q 1 c erous helping of o gravy from a ketchup bottle Q ut it t we dont don't think think think-t it will be e that bad at all Congress ss failed aile to appropriate the money for enforcement e en i The he standing ta army is not novt big enough to to Io k keep p tab on on all potato ota o growers Eminent Emi Emi- nent authorities ties ties' say the law is unconstitutional The 3 farmers who regu regularly arly grow po potatoes potatoes potatoes' potatoes potatoes' po- po and more who dabble in them now an and nd then will not submit to a law designed w to bene benefit i q y big growers When Then this new ew of synthetic scarcity threatens and spud pud t prices prices skyrocket k f Americans V l. l Wil wire their congressmen and the Warren x J. potato control act will be deader than the mummy mum mum- mum mum- my my of King Tutankhamen t. t |
