Show finable Aloofness Found in i Wife rough Lack of Full Understanding Definitions of Love Though None Completely y y Side of Adequate Mother-in-Law's Mother o Story I By BETTY BETrY BLAIR until men deem it essential to make a proper study of ofen ofen MS and until they recognize that love in marriage is an en domestic more delicate skill then courtship Sets and tragedy will con continue to abound Miss MIu BlaIr with his iS man come a mere the haven of all bItIn lem to hearts l f i have jol fol f lowed with Wit varied motional emotional reactions he the letters and an iwers in your column col for a long 11 hoping to to- t me g get help on m my I particular problem without asking for forIt It Though I I have have- C bad lad much help in a general way my y particular problem r unsolved When 1 I 1 t first began courting wife put I was so O much in love lovea a her I wanted to be shower shower- I r my affection on her constant constant- She always seemed to hold me meI I and 1 I thought it was bec because i i I I Ibold didn't love me When I longed e hold bold h her r in my arms and kiss K she would tell ten me I was too and too passionate She seem to realize how de deep p love for her was was' and that if U 7 sit and look oit wary I could Just her ther rather her bar turn turne BC me e down do finally Finall I won her In marriage tat bet all 11 the time I felt that she sever eyer er really gave me all of herself her her- self t that there was a part of her herJe Je fee withheld ld We have now been 11 years have two beau tiM children but bilt I still have hav the f felling that my roy wife never wholeheartedly whole whole- heartedly lov loves s me She is a good a wonderful housekeeper house house- keeper and homemaker but in Letters questions and re reQuests requests reo re- quests for advice should b be addressed addressed ad ad- dressed to MISS BET BETTY T Y BLAIR HEARTS HEART'S HAVEN TELEGRAM SALT LAKE Write legibly upon only one side of the paper It Is necessary that you append append ap pend the right name and address ad dress but these will be held in ID strict confidence and will m nl t tI appear ap ear in print Questions involving in ln advertising information I cannot be answered our most intimate moments as asman asman asman man and wife wile there is always an aloo aloofness ness The thought is always with me rae That hat perhaps somewhere there exists another man with whom she would have mated mat more snore completely com corn l t lr and the thought makes me mad It actually makes me rae to her herat at times and I am guilty of torturing her with my suspicions though she tells me meShe meShe meShe She never really loved any other ollier man and that that never never did she ever consider marrying another Can you throw any light on my case to help me rae get rid of my torturing torturing tor tor- tor turing thoughts G G. G M. M Men should know that a measure of I resistance in wooing is Mrm normal l in women A good many men attribute this his normal standoffishness to either stud studied ed coyness or lack of Interest but except In the case of the oversexed oversexed over sexed woman who is won first and always through h her sens senses s and whose heart is rarely touched the normal womans woman's ideal idealism im must first be antis satis- fled before her senses can be won The demonstrations that seem to the theman theman theman man as the outpouring of a heart of love ove are to the woman mere animalIsm animal animal- Ism until her heart is is' won woo The mistake mistake- too many married men make is that they consider when a womans woman's heart is once won it remains remains re reo re- re mains in a state of forever after atter The normal married woman must also be wooed through the heart Before her senses can be touched Otherwise she will always recoil The married man who expects to suddenly sudden sudden- ly y thrust his sensuous demonstrations of love upon the sensitive idealist whom he has married is laying the first stones of the barricade that may forever separate the two and that frequently is the cause of endless tragedy The male Is the natural wooer but too often he considers that once the quarry has been caught it is henceforth hence hence- forth orth his goods goods' his chattels and had that further urther on his part is sary ary He never made a grea greater ter m mis mis- i. i take And all aU the suspicions and cruelties ies he may visit on her thereafter thereafter there there- after fter because of what he deems her unresponsiveness tend to drive her ler farther wIthin her wall of aloofness aloofness aloof aloof- ness which is her her only escape even though hough it be under bombardment I advice you to root out the hat that your your wife Ue could be happier another er man th than n she is With you and that you spend the time heretofore heretofore hereto- hereto fore ore mL misspent pent in becoming the ideal lover over WHAT WHAT- IS LOVE Dear Miss Blair I think I am in love but I am amnot amnot amnot not sure If IL-I IL I knew exactly what love was maybe I could be more sure of myself Can you ou tell me Thanks ThinK J JERRIE RIE Since language and the art of pu puling put pul ting ing it in writing became became- expressions of human humankind kind men have tried to define define deine de- de fine ine love and have ha failed With all this his past pat r record ord of s of me you you wouldn't expect me to to o try to define it would you Jerrie All I can say Is that if it you dont don't know you are in fri love you probably arent rent The biologist says sas coldly Love springs from the elective affinity of two wo different cellules The poet says Nothing In this world Is single One poet speaks of the purple light of love loveS another Insists the proper hue lue of love Is celestial rosy red O Others hers say In antithesis For love loveIs loves Is s heaven and heaven is love and Love is a terrible thing You didn't mention any of your symptoms Jerrie but If they r resemble re- re emble all aU of these definitions hashed up together you ou probably are arc on th the verge of love l IOTHER MOTHER LAW LA W SPEAKS Dear Miss Miss' Blair I would like to say just jwta a few words in behalf of f mothers mothers-in- law 11 I cant can't help thinking of the plight of the young youns wife whose husband has forced her to live the llie six years of her married life with her in Life has come to be a tragedy for her but It Is also no doubt near one for her mother law who who has been accustomed from the babyhood days babyhood days of ot her s son soto nto to have an ideal interest in him and to feel that he bel belonged to h her hr who I- I bore boro him N No doubt she she- would like to ask the son and his wife to move by themselves but doesn't want to hurt their feel feel- lags ings It Is as s often a tragedy for forthe forthe forthe the mother to to share her son SOll as It ItIs itis itis Is for the wife And f for r each to try to live this tragedy ag dy out under the same root roof is a terrible mis mis- take ONE WHO KNOWS You are right One Who Knows IQ It t is a mistake for newlyweds to to live with their parents for the sake of both oth Present economic conditions Ii pave lave ave forced it In some cases and nd in such cases eases the best of the situation should be made |