| Show WALTER WINCHELL ON BROADWAY Copyright 1933 Daily Mirror Inc MAYOR LEO P. P McLAUGHLIN Hot lot Hot Springs Arkansas My dear Mr Mayor As a guy who used i to l have ave his his' troubles with the New York gen gendarmes darmes in the midst of a little schoolgirl schoolgirl school school- hool girl osculation I want to thank you for tor or those recent orders relative to public necking Students of biology tell us that a moderate bit of these things are normal nor nor- mal In the the- When spring spring when a a ayoung young man nan fancies But it does seem good to tt find tind that even a mayor knows it Mayor OBrien O'Brien of our town who has las done a fine job so sotar far would do doa a finer one 1 if he followed your ex cx- ample I wish he would really really and and andell tell ell his cops to let the ado- ado neck Love you OU know which comes late is often otten the most violent And George Eliot reminds us that there are two two things things not to be hidden love hidden love and a CAPTAIN GEORGE FRIED FRrED S S. S S. S Washington My dear Captain Con grats and all the usual things that go with w wishing a man well Youve You've been n this his nations nation's most illustrious sailor ailor for br years but apparently the shipping hipping board just heard about i it After those thrilling rescues rescues res- res cues directed by you you which brought honor to th the much Amerlan Amerl Amerl- I can an merchant marine marIn giving you ou command com corn mand of ot the Washington Is belated recognition Inde indeed d. d Its It's about bout time I understand that the usual politIcs poll poli tIcs ties Ics kept you from from- getting the Leviathan Leviathan Le Le- Le which you should have had long ong ago And that you almost quit the sea because of it They can be cruel ruel down there at the capitol I know but now youre you're wh where re you deserve deserve de de- serve to be and th that's ts t's all y your ur hero- hero worshipers worshiper really care car about And i now low that youre you're running the Washington Wash Wash- I ington one of the greatest of the AmerIcan liners afloat sir wh when n I get the chance Ill I'll risk riding the theseas seas with seas with you U watching over the safety of my tribe THE PRESIDENT OF THE ERIE R. R R. R My dear Sir That thrilling story lit In all the gazettes about the six orphans who saved that trainload of ot people people not not to mention one of your trains trains gave gave my heart a tug Imag ine me those little boys who probably have dreamed of such heroics actually actu acts ally lIly being confronted with the opportunity opportunity opportunity op op- and being alert enough to flag the speeding rattler in time I understand these young heroes will be rewarded with medals Well Wel all right Medals Meda never made much of an impression on me and they make le less of an impression now So look The action of the kids must have saved you and your railroad untold un told sums in potential damage suits and so so forth It seems to me the least you can do Is to give th them m Z sugary gary cash gifts gifts to to be put away after alter they've used some of it on goodies for themselves and their colleagues In the orphanage So that when they are old enough to go out into the world to shift for lor themselves they will have a d dollar or two plus that interest with which to fight the world You know as well as asI I do that the lucky people on that train wont won't bother to chip in and send a nice lump package of coin to them so them so you be the Big Mans and do oIt it Much obliged 0 TO MR AND MRS AMERICA My dear friends In the last few da days s 's I hastened into printers printer's Ink with what I thought and still think was a sane way way of stifling the enemies of the nation It was my wish and hope that nobody particularly families went hungry I suggested that those of us who could afford to do so should sacrifice eating one meal a day so that the money contributed would promote food for others who find the New Deal just so many words I had the scheme worked out care care- fully No one would suffer suter Many would gain by it By feeding everybody every every- body it would stop communism socialism so roo and th the other arguments I thought for with everybody's hunger satisfied they wouldn't have much to argue about bout or for Also you Also you wouldn't see bread lines any more more A man probably wouldn't ask you ou for lor coins on the street for lor you would then tell him you ou were contributing contributing con eon your money to people like him If It he said that he had no home you you could then remind him that there were organizations to take care I of him Im I'm still hopped up over the whole plan But it is Impossible for me to do i It alone There have been dozens o of calls calIs from worthy citizens who want to contribute coin and their help It isn't the sort of thing to be born only to die after alter the excitement fades You'd think the government would do the job job and and by feeding its hungry hunS hun hun- gry they gry-they might erase the soap box S ers ers or or desperate fathers who throw stones atones through windows Who when L they are arc trapped usually say My children arc are starving I needed money I It l. l is my first major flop lop and I feel icel miserable about it A tiny column like mine isn't strong enough to make it th the success it has to be And so until I am encouraged by men of ol power I must let the matter gather S dust It just seems seem that when it comes to getting people to give money money no no no matter how little you little you become a bore I never was knocked out cut that thai quickly before I feel so ashamed |
