Show 1 rJ r. r f r J r. r a r Ft iY I S i 1 Zoo I j t 0 r f t u rF rE as a's uj ur ut u- u Sr f t f. f f r T r ry ti q w Z t 44 d t I. I r I T M tL to- to Y U atthe F j I 4 J 4 i 4 i 0 of SIR SI H HARRY HARRYk I ARRY i i I t s t j t 1 t i 10 I f L i iAn rJ k T A LAUDER AUDE i I c 1 ti J 1 An An AnY I think i. i r f accept e t the n verra 4 1 a s r kind band ineta tier f of Yer Lordship r a 1 S lf r wr t fr tae tse dinner I t Ay r h hie ha ie written but this Bay saves Ian ea me the stamp Sir Str T ra r 1 Harry once e laid lales aid 1 ir ai F 7 r i r 1 F p 1 1 i l 10 the Viceroy ct or 4 r r ra Ir r j J f India from Item th the th r rk stage ta when this thI I r u officials official's P presence In a box beX recalled a dyr lo to Sir Harry Ham that he had failed to k 7 51 1 F i n YS r l answer snows a formal L dinner Invitation b y t hV F f F M I it tS f y x yr r J 1 3 Sh 4 a r N. N st 2 7 ya n Y rs fC tb n f F k y y w r How the e Imps o of Chance ante Sometimes m mes s' s T Turn urn tn th the e 1 F L F h t x l r r i i tT 4 r r fr r f ir r oa 5 0 Tables the King of ers rs an and f r u ZA r. r r ff fW t. t St y r d es on e m o f fj y R Il er 2 r f r rt 1 y r d' d y r 44 ar 1 Ny f dy i S M Make ke Him m the e Vict Victim of o of His Own Witticisms WittiCism t i 7 b Z t Fj w t r i r YO r Yr f lA r rr v vr vrr r r c S1 r y A l As Told o by the e Famous r t Guid George said Sir Harry when parting witha a friend after the 4 theatre Just behind nd hint him stood England's Eng R Humorist Himself F. F lands land's a aKing King who smilingly replied r JF c r r r t t vm d Int l r o air n t IY c t T SOMETIMES SOMETIMES the fife joke is on the f I iI i Lau skilled f.- f. in to repartee and quick wit have it 4 put over on them at unexpected p moments and in overwhelming style Y Sir Harry Louder Lauder really laughs loud loudest r r est and l longest m est when the joke c is is on ore himself a and fo he delights in ta the telling ti P PJ o of these a episodes odes in which the tables J r are reversed Here follow some o of F f fF the a a most mirthful Incidents roux the y rec recollections ec ns o of the great eat Scot t f M Mt H t I t i f fr w 4 I r r b v 4 t I ri F yr t I u j I I j t 1 1 7 I W. t I 1 0 F Sure s ure I tl its it's l s nice t to 0 ge get t up in In th the e morn mornin but its it's nicer to lie he in to In bed bed bcd often 1 I. I croons Sir Harry across the footlights in one of his favorite melodies s. s I- I I r I V tie i i it t r I err I r i I S K t I c o l y f l j r 4 Al I lw w l lf We e tossed for or it t today sir sir which Y f one o one of us as should carry for you a f l e explained the substitute W ft 1 caddy fx S i r V y el By By Sir it Harry Lauder m MAY be besu surprised to hear perhaps th that t I st iJ t. t still get o occasional stage fright fright or or r. r more correctly stage frights But despite lt my my long ong experience it is so ro rum I 1 Heres Here's one I got not co so long Jong ago when t r fervently played d the floor bene beneath th me me meto meto to open and swallow me me up I 1 was commanded com com- commanded to appear at a ata at a a royal p pa perform performance n e a and tt through ough what is always a a thrilling p performance for an as an actor ut feeling too displeased oo Afterward having changed I came cam o outi out t i trite Into the corridor along which the royal part party would t later proceed to leave the the theatre tre and stood Mood a while talking to a friend r of mine whose name was George We heard the rustle as the doors opened at the end of the show mow and 1 I turned hurriedly hur t to g go be before ore any one emerged sing t ing out Guld Georgel George as 1 did so r Imagine my horror when I found the i f King Just behind ins ine n on his his' way out to tAJ 4 his carl cart His Majesty's face lighted with witha a laugh With twinkling eyes he said p lIQuid fluid Harry Harrr and guid d luck luck- and WL N J lv t J 1 f Awkward moments are arc not usually pleasant at at- time the the time but het looking b back backon ck ckon on them adds adds adds' an adventuresome spice his to stage life declares Sir Harry Lauder world famous Scotch comedian passed out smiling at his joke oke As Asfor for me I just fled to tomy my my room Another stage stag shock which really turned to good account occurred when Iwas I was on tour recently In fu India Lord Reading who was then Viceroy had Invited me to dine with him and In the rush settling of down and brushing brushings I up my performance with local color and Interest his letter got put aside f for r reply and was forgotten Suddenly on the stage realized I that the Viceroy y was in his box and that I had hadnot hadnot not answered his Invitation 1 I did a moment moment moment mo mo- ment of 01 hard thinking I 1 can tell teU you sou ou Then I said sald after a pause in my chatter An I 1 think Ill III accept the verra vena kind in- in of Yer Lordship tae the dinner I 1 hae hael written but this S saxes saves l es me the stamp Lord Reading was highly amused and of or course ourse I 1 explained later how haw UJ it U X J was vas I Ij had not nob written The audience was delighted One of off the thc most awful frights I 1 have ever cr had was when in l 1901 Ol unknown and penniless penniless- I was tramping the streets of London trying to get an engagement I got gota a small email turn at GatUs Gattl's old music hall haU near Waterloo Station and meanwhile was vas offered a part as a substitute for a minor artist at the Tivoli They did not even announce my name I was Just an unknown deputy Playing two turns In the one night m meant antl I L It had to arrange the times carefully carefully care care- fully and the Tivoli wouldn't alter the time Ume I II had allotted to let me get to toG G Gatti's Gattis early enough But I changed times with Bransby Williams which made it p possible ible When 1 I did go on It pleased please th people who gave the unknown Scot a rousing welcome They stamped stormed and shouted after the turn roaring roaring roaring roar roar- ing Speech I Speech I It th the substitute walked on and gave th them m one one The manager came while I 1 was before the the curtain curtan and raved in impotent whispers from the wings When I came of off he explained with that he never allowed any anyone one to make speeches that h he would never have me on his stage again and that he would throw me out I I said the public like me yell me yell be askin me tae tao come back tae ye yo yet Here mon coon awa swa wi ye an carry ma bag oot cot tae a a. cab b With that I 1 departed in some haste laughing a a. wee bit Mind you it was was' a n. risky step for a beginner to take and when I 1 thought over in cold blood the way I 1 stood up for myself I 1 felt really nervous in case I had damaged my chance of London engagements very much But results proved as they always do that It pa pays 5 not to be downtrodden too much In New Zealand some time ago I was enjoying masel telling the audience a few wee stories true ones too when I 1 heard hearda a a. heavy thump in the auditorium followed followed followed fol fol- fol- fol lowed by a a. stir sUr among the people which subsided in a few tew minutes After the show I asked what It was That said sald the manager beaming at atme atme atme me was vas one of the patrons having a fit lithe lit fit he laughed too much and cho choked Mon I sa says S Im awful sorry I I 1 THE HE manager looked at me distinctly L shocked Dont say that Sir Harry Harryt he said very seriously Dont bont you see sec what a perfectly magnificent advertisement ItIs ItIs it itIs Is for the house The shocks and frights rights are arc not always pleasant at th the Uhe time but I dont don't mind looking back on them They're good be because because because be- be cause they add an adventurous us spice to tomy tomy tomy my stage life When I 1 was on my last American tour we seemed to have a lot Jot of ot unexpected things happening In New York my mustache us che the fake lake one you understand understand understand under under- stand suddenly began to droop while I IF IF F was singing Ta ta my bonnie Maggie I tried vainly to keep it up but it came carne right off my lip The audience audience audience audi audi- ence apparently thinking this was part of the fun roared with laughter I had to do that every performance after atter that otherwise e some one would have been sure to call caU out What about the whisker whisk r slide ANOTHER ANOTHER NOTHER incident nt which t took ok place shortly before that aL also sticks sUcks in my memory It was the opening night of a great new theatre As arrangements were not half haJ finished and even the lighting wasn't perfect we had to improvise improvise improvise im im- our own with a pair of acetylene motor headlights fixed up about nine feet above e the stage It wasn't altogether what you might call caU a a. brilliant success for the light on my left hand kept going out and had to tobe tobe tobe be relit reUt constantly by a man on a lad lad- der Every one laughed the more at that sa saying Ing I made the light laugh and asking where Harry was when it went out But the real explanation was that the man who was as attending to the lights had smuggled a friend In behind the stage This friend in his excitement kept shIfting shifting shifting shift shIft- ing from one foot toot to the other And whenever it was the other you see he was standing on the thc gas sas tube so the light went out at once This went ent un on until the whole place reeked of carbide and the lamplighter was as Just stepping up his l ladder for the twentieth time when a catastrophe hap hap- His friend changed charged feet again the gas came along the tube with a rush and th the poor wee laddie addle on the ladder top carne came hurtling to the ground with a thump nearly asphyxiated It was In the midst of my singing my mywee mywee mywee wee song Love Makes the World a Round Merry tha that t he whirled round ladder and all and crashed You should have e heard that audience It laughed cheered shouted for tor an encore encore and and all aU the while five men were holding the little lit littie lit lit- tle tie chap who'd fallen to prevent him taking his coat off in full fuU view of the audience to his unfortunate pall pal Not all aU my unexpected laughs haTe bait been in the theatre and some of ot them have been against myself ny J Heres Here's one for instance I w was s leaving a train tram at a abig abig abig big American station one day when la a battery of enterprising cameramen fairly ambushed me They rushed me against a s taxi I wan wanted d to enter and so ISO maneuvered maneu maneu- maneuvered vered it that I was placed ag against the taxi with one hand resting upon It Z My Sy hand though I didn't know it it was apparently apparently ap pointing to a s. placard The next morning all the he papers lad had pictures of nie me standing beside the vehicle gleefully pointing to a a. notice which read Great Reduction in Fares Another kind of shock though really really- I Ionly only heard of it afterward was when my 1111 advance man went to Peoria Ill IU to book a a. theatre for tor a a. matinee performance there The German proprietor was myat shy my of at booking for he said he had been let letdown letdown letdown down too often by these guys with only a New York ork reputation He wanted a sum down as a guarantee My advance man was naturally amused and explained that Harry Lauder wax was the biggest thing that had hit the American American Ameri- Ameri can Continent since Columbus The Getman German Get Ger man didn't like to admit that hed he'd not heard of Columbus either so ISO rather rev re- r reluctantly he fixed up sharing terms He was still restless though and when my advance man was 1 leaving he turned to him unable any longer to k keep p his doubts inside Say young feller feHer he shouted you aint never told me the name o the chap this Lauder guys guy's gonna light more stories of shocks Ive I've had bad bad- TWO 1 J- J JI I 1 think you'll youn agree that they were ere real ones It was on a a. big course and Id I'd had hac the same caddie for two mort mornings buton buton but buton on the third day a strange boy came up to the first tee and handed me my driver happened to the lad I had yesterday I asked Is ls he ill No Sir Harry was the reply Hewen Reswell Hel Res well wen Then I asked why Isn't he caddying caddying caddying caddy- caddy ing for tor me m me today We tossed for it today sir which sir which of ofus ofus ofus us should carry for tor you t e Naturally I was rather delighted that they should be be tossing for the honor of carrying my clubs I felt quite lent You won Voon did you my boy boyN I 1 asked No No sir said Mid the tho boy sulkily I lost The other one occurred on another famous course at one point of which you jou ou have to drive over the railroad I enjoyed my round that morning and played my best t but perhaps erred on the side of at generosity in giving my tip to the caddie Immediately we got back the caddie caddle was asked by his friends how much he be got Five Fhe shillings he be said MId proudly mowing showing show mow ing tug the coins Good Lord said wd one of the other others You Yon must have caved d his bis life Ills at the railway crossing One day during the war I was wasco coming out of or the in Shaftesbury avenue avenue ave aye nue flue London It was at a a time when everybody was investing their savings in war ar bonds I met a a. friend of mine as sa I Iwas Iwas Iwas was coming out of the and he be said to me Well I suppose you youve you've been Investing more money in n war bonds No I said Ive been in filling my fountain pen Immediately th that t Joke was taken up the world round Everybody thought the they had a new one on th the stingy Scotchman Copyright by W Leaner |