Show Slayers Slayer's Essays Essays' on M Men and and Wom Women Disclose Cynical View on oiz Life Excerpts from An Essay on Men and An Essay on Women written by Rosemary Carnarvon Sparkman giving her he e expressions ns on the world are reprinted below They first were published pUblish l in m The Citizen in in recent issues An Essay on Men was so popular that it was republished by The Citizen I AN ESSAY ON MEN Men Mn are economic commodities wl which ich women marry They have two hands two feet and have been known to have two wives sometimes sometimes sometimes some some- times more snore but never more more than one collar button or one Idea at atthe atthe atthe the same time t 1 t Like Turkish men are all aU made of the same came matell l tho the only difference being some are are much better bettel disguised than others I I I IAn An eligible gIble bachelor is a mass of oC j obstinacy entirely surrounded by I suspicion It is well welI night Impossible impossible impossible I I sible to have any Idea what he I I either likes or thinks I WIdo Widowers ers e either t r honest st to God I Continued on oct page 2 2 I I An Essay on Men Continued from tram page 1 1 or merely grass are avoided by byI clever women lest they prove to be beI bemore bemore more of or a 0 liability than an asset Being shop soiled they have to offer some other attraction to make makeup up for the aforementioned deficiency deli deft clency To most mot women the conceit of the opposite sex Is most moat tr trying ing 1 Men Mendo Mendo Ien do not consider their own deceit a avice avice avice vice they seem seem to regard it a- a something of a virtue In reality ItI it itis Itis is a concession of the Almighty specially bestowed on them to blind I them to their own deficiencies and thus save them from committing suicide S S S Making a husband out of a a. man manis an ani i is one of the highest plastic f aits known to civilization It require science sculpture sculptureS common sense faith hope and cha charity Ity especially charity l Men len en h have ve peculiar amusements It takes hard work on the part of ofa ofa ofa a woman to keep a 0 man amused If It she flatters him it nearly frIghtens him to death If It she does not flatter flatter flatter flat flat- ter him she well nigh bores him to death If she allows him to make love to her one of a mans man's fa- fa a indoor sports he gets tired I of her in iii th the end and if Jr she does not allow him to make love to her I he gets tired of h her r in the beginning begin begin- ning In the long run the latter is the safest process Men have peculiar Ideas of what constitutes Intellect in a woman If It she believes everything he says she j I cannot keep him interested and if it she argues with him all the time she cannot charm him If a woman I believes what a man says he thinks she hp Ih is a fool and If she does not I I I believe him him he KNOWS that tho t she is a cynic S SIf If It a woman is given to gay colOrs colOrs colors col col- col- col ors rouge and a startling hat her herman herman herman man hesitates to take her out If It on the other hand she wears a quiet hat and a tailored suit he takes her hei herout out acts bored and stares all evenIng evening evening even even- ing at a woman In gay colors colons rouge touge and a startling hat If It you Join him in his smoking his drinking and such like gayeties he swears that you ou are going to the devil headlong If It you jou dont don't ap approve approve approve ap- ap prove of his smoking and his gayeties gayeties gay gay- urge him to g give ge e e up all such things Join a church settle down and become a family man he swears that you jou ou are driving him to th the devil If It you jou ou are aie of ot the clinging vine type he doubts whether or not you have a brain If It you are aie modern advanced and Independent h hd doubts It U you have a heart he If It you are silly he longs for a 0 thoughtful mate If It you are Intellectual and brilliant he longs for fox a playmate If It other men dont don't like you he gets peeved because he is married to a wallflower If It other men do like you jou ou and show It it he Is as Jealous I as a fool Gosh ding men anyhow I B By Bj Rosemary C C. Sp Sparkman |