Show BUGS BAER SAYS o lust Feed Feed Coal to toa They Furnace Furnice With a q J r. r T 1 iny Teaspoon oon I I tt 19 The Press Publishing Co Go The Tho New York Evening World R orchestras arent aren't getting as much competition during the thes' thes s' s me meal f hour as formerly The folks who used to surround the tho consomme I I iri in a rich baritone or Inhale the demi tasse in B sharp are now Seen een and anda andr r a not heard Even the celery is silent At the present lofty prices of or eats afford to eat above a whisper If Biscuits And nd things go any higher they will have to make male ceilings lower we wiH have to eat on stepladders No honest man can afford to put the seTt agon on nowadays If the police lamp a gent ordering inore more that than two baked ans ians at Jr utIl ne they frisk him on suspicion for a marked deck and a pair dice 1 I friendly fendly I At t one tl ne a hungry hoke hokey could put his ear to the telephone and listen listena meal o. a meal but now fodder is too costly to share even the sound Rich folks are I t eI en putting colanders on their rain spouts and burglar alarms on their r a cans i All Ali the food you can buy for a dollar could be put in your right M e you blink a solitary blink bUnk I Columbus did that trick with an egg when eggs were cheap At the present ric rids ices s of Orpington Koh i Columbus Columbus' could never have afforded to dis dis- fever over America Anybody who can invent a machine to extract eggs from will t rich enough to make John D D. look like a pauper Folks are driving up to toe e bread breE- ln fy What chance will wiil a beggar have this winter unless s can afford adr dress a-dress ss suit Begging is going to be very formal oliver asked for more when porridge was only porridge If Oliver sc d organ organ-e ten encore core today they would aim him for the exit esit They are cutting ead cad iran w thin Tat it only looks like a rumor A dish of spaghetti is yards orte tJ the 1916 rules trun run in schools nowadays s s Each sardine has a private tutor ou oU bu buy a f sardines and dis discover over you ou have purchased a hermit Only le ferociously wealthy can afford to speak of soup In the plural If It pancakes get any thinner they will soon have only one side Unless e government puts more nutritious paste on the packs of postage stamps r t stenographers are going to starve to death Butter is a dime a looks look The rho he war has bas even increased the price of fish A shad you could purchase bO 0 ants a It copy now costs one dollar an edition How the fish know there thero war is almost much as of a puzzle as hash People are getting so desperate at t even a prune prun isn't safe A janitor who can imitate coal can write his own ticket as to salary a steam pipe with a hammer aint as warm as it so sounds but coal is Seal old This winter the furnace will be fed with a dessert spoon instead of a aS S ovel ter the janitor will be using a hypodermic on it About 1919 a nice record of a ton of coal will be all the heat e will get nd nd gasoline w will be on exhibition at the Smithsonian institution Even m dies dies' shoes aro aro getting higher but you jou ou dont don't hear the men complaining I keep on increasing in price only a stylish pedestrian can fo dp to be knocked down by one ILl S g getting very expensive But still folks folks' keep right on doing it m u iris iQ i t prominent livers aint offering to stop I erlY f eans were a thousand on on a plate Now a team am of beans consists i A viv complaining about the high high cost of af t living is just as cheap r V soon be be having tenement garages for the tho richi rich i t J r 9 d feor he e. e food ici you food you ou can buy for a ollar a postage i stamp will serve as an ance ce c g appropriate table cover A protects animals the Audubon looks after the welfare of ot q f but lt old ur H. H Public can crowd al all his friends un under er his own hat In 1 a a few years we will be ordering g one egg with two B spoons OO v fJ Che e latest lunchroom stunt Is a stereopticon slide of ot a pi piece ce of butter g your bread into focus and they illuminate it with a a anice nice yellow glow i J otta ta admit adroit that America is a great city v 0 1 j 1 r roan man n c can earl n hide his hollow che cheeks ks with whiskers b t t h nce has a af agot f g tt got t Mr ij H 0 g will wiil command a high price this winter r. r r 4 t M I e wiil be worn worn very very close to the the grindstone kV 1 e. e eo lunch un will be about as free as a canary In a ca cage e. e re f Vests t ibe be very very v lo loose se and the inhabitant tant will rattle from side to side aide v o blo chins chins will iII be as scarce as presidential proclamations signed by Mr u es Ules Jit i t Chi Chicago ago diet iet squad is getting getting healthy on that trick food but it aint re Ie food that makes males a man roan sick Its It's the check |