Show 7 AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW MODERN CONVENIENCES E ti Lifo Life must have been a L great annoyance annoy annoy- ance anco a hundred years ago o remarked the bald boarder I have been read cad lug ine some Borne books treating of the times of George Washington and his little h hatchet t het and as aa 1 r read ud I congratulated myself that 1 am living giving in an ago of ot comforts aiM aud conveniences con Jn in those d days s 's the they had no DO electric lights nu no railways no telephones no rio Congressional Congressional s onal Record Re ord I cant can't think of anything any thing they did have that was as worthwhile worth while They Thoy had a calm and peaceful manner man man- manner ner nag of f iLvan living that was worth while had said the star boarder They plenty of leisure a commodity which has boon been abolished I I. I sometimes wonder wonder won won- der my dear Mrs Jiggers our modern conveniences are what they the are arc cracked up to be whether be-whether whether they really contribute to human felicity as as per catalogue People who have ha observed me mc narrowly in my daily walks must have noticed that I have an impediment ment meat in iii my gait I walk with a 11 decided de de' decided accent on my left leg Jc Several years ago I was journeying from one city to another in a beautifully upholstered up holstered railway rail coach and was meditating medi tating tatins upon the luxury of modern travel and pitying our our unfortunate forefathers who were vera wont to travel on horseback horseback The Tha next thing I knew the train was wae rolling down an embankment embank embank- ment meat as the result of spreading rails The locomotive pursued d me with human hu bu man intelligence ence and malice and finally rolled over me and broke so 80 man many ot of of m my bones that it would be wearisome to give eive a 3 list For particulars see small bills bilIs Mrs Jiggers Today I went into the office of a R Napoleon of commerce thinking that I might sell seU him a huntin hunting dog do I had found in an alley lie ha haa had haa a a. hatchet in his hand band and was Vas busily engaged in destroying a 8 telephone I assure yon ron Mrs Jiggers Ji ers that his bis language lan Ian guage age would not be tolerated in iu any moral family boarding house He explained ex cx- pl ined at the tho top of his bis voice that in inthe inthe in inthe the future he ho would do without any din ding telephone in his office for such an instrument merely drove strong strongmen strongmen men to drink and laid their lives desolate deso deso- late If you wish to hoar tired bu business businessmen men indulge e in bitter recriminations you TOU have but to mention that great modern convenience the telephone I HI believe that every such tuch convenience conven conven- lence has h-as so many evils ils in its train that one would need to be a a. statistician to figure figaro out whether it really It U is a 3 blessing blessin or the th reverse rO We sneer at atthe atthe atthe the tallow candles candies of our oar ru mile e forefathers forefathers fore foro fathers but they hey had bad their advantages They needed no safety appliances In all my mv readings I nev never r encountered a astory astory astory story of ot a man being killed or maimed by a a. tallow candle Then came tho kerosene lam lain which was considered a triumph in its wa and so 80 it H was but if we had the statistics showing how many people went through the tho roofs of their lowly abodes as the result of lamp explosions I have haTe no doubt that they Would give ciTe ns us pause Mrs Jiggers TlC erl In its its' early days the tho lamn was as dangerous danger danger- ous ons as 8 an unloaded shotgun and tho the coroner got lot discouraged thoro there was so eo much work ahead c Then en gas s came ame into favor lavor as ae an n 1 illuminating n agent and that WM WIS i iother other stride in iii the th march of oC pr pr rr Gas fixtures wore were placed in all aU tb the I and the first duty of the land every morning was to to make the theof ro roof roof of his lis caravansary and see Kee ee how m ran ns guests were da dead 1 in their beds I 1 Ia w wa a bellboy in a n. small town towi hotel la ln B youth and I remember how bow we carry out omit all t th the corpses and amid pile them tho the ball hall until un hi the coroner sent a dr around for th them m. m It ft was became breau i ithe the refusal of m my employer to pay payI I for tor this work that I abandoned thi till S I Stcl Itel tel business invested m my capital brass rass jewelry jewery c Gas Gai was followed bv by the eletti light which is a typical modern I In ur ury It has bas numerous u undeniable vantages e. e It doesn doesn't t smoke or smell i iset set firo tIro ro to ones one's whiskers But Bul I b noticed that i it always goes oes out H leaves you vou in darkness ju just t when ben Jl are approaching the climax of the tb J ij est eat novel by Oppenheim and it i ill half as inexpensive e as dayH daylight bt Mt M over unfortunate men are arc awaya ing killed fixing the tho wires wares winch which J ii j deplorable circumstance Nobody dt f wa was killed adjusting a tallow Mod end U Thus we wo see it-e again aiD Mrs re Ti TI that mans man's inhumanity to man countless thousands m moiro and th the zen whose vision is broad and clouded cannot annot help re regretting th tb old oM days when tallow was made c candles instead of fresh fre h count country y- y ter such as we are ro now WALT S MAS |