Show rw Walter it wi h l O On Broadway i C 1831 1931 b by Dally Mirror Inc I Portrait of a Man Ian Talking to Himself Im I'm reminded of the one I I heard the other nighta night a true one however About the Baron and Baroness Baron Baron- ess well known In town A year ago the Baroness died Recently the Baron Daron returned to New York He met a young and pretty retty Princess PrinceS who visits th the city often She dined with him at his place She was so young so 50 alive aUve so Sf full of zip sip I He asked her to dine again a THIS ONE week later This time she was glum SURE TO and dull I dont don't understand he JAR YOU said to her hel Last week you were so 50 merry you made me rae so happy Tonight you ar are blank What's the matter I 1 dont don't know know- sh she said as QS she we stared but abut when you were getting th the cocktails I went Into your room and opened a Ja Jaon jar jaron jaron on the dresser and alid took some of your snuff to see If it Id I'd like It My y heavens he shrieked that tha isn't snuff 1 Those are my Iny wiles wife's ashes That Belle Livingston gal galIs Is up to her tricks again I see From her Reno quarters she sends the mos most engaging letters to clients She writes them that tha she has learned from experience that Americans wan want real cal novelty In their entertainment when they pay for or It and second not to take any more chances with mth padlocks She promises smart entertainment entertainment entertain entertain- ment and environment plus games of chance a fine orchestra perfect cuisine etc She concludes with this come on You need not Join the gay gny divorce colony to 14 enjoy the freedom of Reno But 1 if it you mus must why must why I shall hope to make more your six Ix weeks' weeks stay S S SI I dont don't savvy the mayors mayor's Walker com complaint at al ataU atall aU all 11 I mean that part of or It when he asserts that thai the ho special writers rs have given him the bad name of being a wisecracker Well perhaps he Isn't a wise wise- cracker But he is a wit and whenever I was lucky enough nough to jot down his bis quips quips' exclusively they helped made my pillar breezier Surely PROTECTS he will not disown the crack he REPORTERS IN parented at the Chevalier dinner THEIR HEIR SOBS JOBS on the Sabbath eve When he ha declared that he was happy to be home again even again ven if it is to pass through town When he argued In that interview that many reporters re re- porters misquoted him hint for tor the sake of a a story he had lad good cause I 1 once asked him why he lie never denied the statements statement if i they were not true Because Because Be cause I do not want to cost any reporter a Job he said said aid I know too of two reporters who lost their posts because they offended JImm Jimmy and he phoned the le newspaper owner and urged him to reinstate them hem anyway I Theres There's Hoover Hes He's a columnist at t heart During his talk to the thc legion in Detroit he e never credited Garfield Garfeld with a nod or bow And Mr H. H practically used word for word of Garield's Oar Gar fields ields plea to the G. G A. A R. R vets of 50 years ago when ago when he e discussed pensions S S S SWell Well maybe I should toss a coin and decide So I can always say that the fates made me do It I mean about that 4 minute specialty in Star StarDust StarDust StarDust Dust which E. E Ray Goetz and Cols Porter are threatening to do to relieve the Broadway monotony Funny at that if it I do appear in that show For Star Dust Is my favorite favorito melody and Ive I've plugged lugged it so O much in the colm It isn't any risk at t all au when you consider Cole Porter is the composer What Is This Thing Called Love Love for Sale ale and Where Have You Been All grand tunes unes I S S S SIn In Star Dust Porter has bunched another mother group of f melodies that they'll whistle hum bum and thrill over Star Dust I can hear the other critics Jealous be because I will have a holiday from the alleged shows saying things i The big stiff si I can write my criticism for them right now Star Dust last night Like ike this opened Peggy Wood is the star and Winchell is the dust S S S SI I like Sir Lawrences Lawrence's description of New York It is like strychnine he observes It perks you up p until it lays you out Broadway isn't hot yet It has 22 legit shows compared to 34 last season seMOn this his time And not one dramatic bit bitt S S S SWell I Well Im I'm glad I found that out I mean the proper roper pronunciation of those new hats the gels wear ear Jenny Oo it Is the 00 oo as in booze S S S That amusing crack about bagging the lion to togo togo too go o away pulled by Willie Howard in Scandals I Iam Iam Iam am now informed was cone of Groucho Marxs Marx's better better bet- bet ter r sallies in the screen version of Animal Crackers S S S Those wits on the Times are always b Instead of putting the announcement of that col- col columnist Joining a new play on its amusement pages they icy put pub it on their obituary page |