Show A Chicago woman suing her husbAnd hus- hus bAnd nd for fop divorce swore that he made her wear magnifying glasses so that there would seem seam more food on her plate That reminds us of the he Scotchman who put green go goggles gog- gog g- g giGS glos on his horse and nd then fed him himon on wood shavings We Doubt It A Anna ma Belc baa lias eyes of or blue And Peg has lias carmine lips And nd far l Margaret hair of or golden Jolden hue And JJ hester slender hips And ankles trim and neat nent And neer ne'er were legs like Janes Jane's And nd Mignon l dainty tin tiny feet But you ou my love r have ha brains CONSTANTINE CONSTANTI S S S Well Rudy Is All AllRight AllRight AllRight Right If He HeIs HeIs HeIs Is Quiet dl have been called a menace Rudy Vallee declares declares de de- de- de clares dares in his autobiography Vagabond Dreams Come True and hastens to add parenthetically in a humorous humorous humorous hu hu- hu- hu way of course SOURDOUGH SAM S S S SOh Oh would that dear Rudy could hear bear leap us some time S S S Seems Like Everybody Otta Be Happy What gets m my goat ont Is this If H as tho ho wets vets declare th thero ro are arc ten drinking since Inco prohibition where one drank before nn anybody ho y can pet get et all tho tIm liquor quor ho wants whenever he lie wants it and eVer every day In ever every Wl way the nation Is getting wetter and wetter what In tho the devil arc are the wets hollerin about On tho the other Jt hand nd If fr as tho the drys rs r's Insist prohibition is a n. success and andI andIs andIs I Is making e everybody happy I ell cli arc are the thc drys r s 's about POPINJAY I Dirge I nm ant dreaming of oC glorious days arR And a cellar of vintages rare Where we wc looked upon life liCo through a haze lazo That hid weariness worry and care And the they rise in m my memory shinIng shinIng shin shin- Ing InS and fair And I for them dl after aeter yearn earn lay day day a Just to sample those flavors a again And rejoice In their thell fragrant bou bou- RAnDEL YS A F Fetching etching Little Game For Fop those thoS who enjoy rather long weekend week motoring trips we wb suggest the following little game to break the monotony of the tho trip It is called One Off You and is is really quite simple Being simple ourselves we al always al ways enjoy it it This might be bea a good wisecrack but we doubt it Whenever a car of tho the same make as the one in which you are riding passes the oc occupants occupants occupants oc- oc of your car all reach over and playfully pluck a hair from the owners owner's head at the same time crying Ah Ali Hah That's a good one off you In other words they extract one of his cerebral fungi Of course this g game might also be called Hes Fungi That Way If the thc owner is driving a Chrysler or ora ora ora a new Ford hes he's liable to be become become become be- be come disconcerted by losing so much hair In that case the best way for him to prevent utter baldness is to carry a botIe bottie bot bottle bot bo tIe tle of or leave the car home and go by train D. D S S I FOUR FOUR What is homo home without a L father What Is Js homo without a a. mother What hat s i-s homo home without a a. sister What is home without a brother Who ho could mako tho homo home so glad plad Iad Just tho the one that's called the tho dead ead Who caresses little brother Ju Just t tho the one that's called the tho dl dad mother What is Js lifo life without these four Wheres Where's s 's a a. man who would want more Wheres Where's a a. girl cirl ill or any brother Who wouldn't bo be a dad dail or mother molher Is 11 there a n man in any country Any raco race or any clan Who ho wouldn't want to be called father lather And at homo home be bo called head man Is there thele a a. lady in all the land hand In lii n this town or an any other In Iii there ther a girl Sir In lii an any country countr Who Vho never wants to be a n. mother I think all girls sometime III In life Would like t to tn be le a a. loving mother molher JUl Just Juht t to care caro for two small children Just a sister and a brother And nd all boys hos would like lite to be beA beA e eA A father o of oe a a. family The Tho one oile at homo to be Je called ailed dad And 1st the one ono to make them glad glad- ROY nor STOCK STOCKDALE LE DALE A Ay |