Salt Lake Telegram | 1929-12-29 | Page 54 | Resolutions, like Cigar Lighters, Made to be Broken, View

Resolutions Like Life A. A Cigar igar Lighters Made eto to Be Broken View a V g y Dr George Rod i New Years Year's A I m Itc y youre you're wo NO many chg els- re reta that they're there not only ony l hurt- hurt ng ns you OU but they're giving y yo you U 0 10 o pleasure wh why not show a do little o and cu cut t. t them out ul Z Pl taste all tho the when ou start again while which of oC course course eu ou u will Thais That's what New Cew w tears fears da day Is rot for Its It's so 50 you OU can enn rake r a a. lot of ot resolutions and ind ben nen iJ n bren break them FORBIDDEN MEASURES PLEASURES GATHER NO OSS r LOVES LOVE'S OLD SWEET SONG I ILver Ever Lver Adam and live Eve Wait started I e custom of ot commencing each ach i ir ar r with Ith a a. new l leaf ar It has been Nr Tr fr pt pt up by their thelL descendants c am in n of ot 0 O- would no noore noore ore ore re think of or ushering inhering in n January 0 0 o first without re resolving to put 1 ia a I. I clean collar coUnt every day ay for or Ol the rUins minx 3 year car than your your- family tamly would ouM think of It t rinsing 0 c o bell If It tho door w wasn't locked dRig d. d Ring Rig out tho the old ring rinD in in inthe thew the thew aw w which is the matrimonial 1 war wary warI applies to every every- I y of Hollywood ling ng at New Years Its It's an occa- occa an en n when everyone tarts starts on a anew new liew f. f The slow motion mechanic h ha ho has been oiling your car springs artS irU on a new leaf leaf-if if youre you're icky every silk silk worm in China Chin a arts arisen on a a now new leaf led the ag aggressive i esman who solicits over over the tho tele- tele hone 00 will finish tho 0 O'Briens and irn over a 3 new le leaf tto to the O Con OCon ConIn In fact ever since ince Mormonism the use of extension ning tables 90 so o a new leaf could i t added every few hw weeks lifo has hassen sen een just juit one ono leaf after another iH THAT MAT T ARE YOU GOING GOING TO DO Two hundred years earS from this aning New Y Years Year's people will blow ores orns yell themselves cs hoarse and andt andr ml r I t home borne How man many of ot that crowd ill know Olt ever over lived or oven o c wo no hoard about you ou And Ana two un ears cars later how ho mm many pole po- po j z oIe o- o IQ le will know a thing thin about any o of urn Individuals who amount to and got sot somewhere havo have jt of to do moro more than blow blew horns mighty and noble are hat bring bring- lasting tame same Look at old Mother Hubbard She She's famous famous' enough for for- anybody n- n body to make ono one Yet all she did was to to t the e powered high resolve resolve to yo cupboard Little Jack Horner Homer resolved resolved resolved re- re solved to sit in the corner corne and as a everyone knows know who consequence how about Jack H Horner orner is is And little Miss Mias Muffet who resolved to sit ait it on a R tuffet You'll notice it was wasI was the resolution th that tat brought fame and not what they actually did As a I matter of fact Mies Miss Mias' Mias Muffet got not frightened the she sha saw saw aw the thes s spider ider and r ran h away But she's bottor bettor known tod today y than the words of The Tho Star Spangled Banner YOU TOO CAN RESOLVE It If you OU v want int to be tamo famous s sn and remembered re- re without stowing away anay ol nY In e airplanes or cutting culling down cherry trees you OU must t begin by doing a alIt lIt little le resolving around this time timo of or ortho tho year yeal Ono easy and inexpensive way is s to start ri n a dl diary n And dont don't mako maka tho the mistake of or buying ono one that's only good rood tot for Ol one yea N Get one with twelve Januarys In It U which will l last st st. you ou on twelve years as cos yet very few cw people over ever write In a adiar diar diary after January It isn't being done I In I your di diary ry you write down any bad habits you want to overcome such as re reading ding the postmarks on ot other er peoples people's mail singing while the tho radio is pl playing ying eating more than two pieces of pie at a sitting g getting etting mad at your teeth when they bite Ito your our tongue etc tc etc ote DONT DON'T BE AFRAID OF FAILURE New Years Year's r resolutions like cigar lighters are arc e mado to bo broken n. n Its It's no disgrace to make mako a complete I uro of or every eVelY resolution you mal make malte 4 But it Is n a a disgrace o to mako make no resolves When you get so bad ball that you dont don't care caro enough about other people to at least try and glee lve up carbolated soaps and aromatic hair preparations you arc a menace So make annual to too society your Ul r but of ot course courso you mustn't n go to extremes and try to really realty keep th them m It If everyone kept their resolutions and each year ar succeeded In n doing away with n a few ba had bad traits tracts it would b bo be but a I. I cI question question ques ques- CS- CS i tion Uon of or time when there'd be nothing left t to cut o out t. t And with no Now no Now Years Year's there'd be no merry throng on to j Join john on on n New Years Year's eve ovo for tor the 1 i f e e i 0 w I ce c i e S 0 e I s ri o oi i- i r vt ie K T ST Vt a purpose of ot washing your our sink and starting nIt nil over again WHY BE BEHAVE AVE LIKE A HUMAN BEING Man is gregarious meaning that ha he Is i largely controlled control by herd in in- in A man Will watch Ills liia fellow fellow fel fl fel- fel low man see ceo cc what he h. does docs and then do the same ame thing A woman watches tho the other othel woman woman sees what she's wearing then gets geb something I different and finally throws throws' it away because It its it's not what wha they're wearing wear wear- ing On the matter of New Year reactions both men and Women however follow pretty pretty pretty- much the th same samo procedure Here's Heres s I what whar come of our most prominent people are going to do with reference to New Years Year's resolutions resolution JAMES WYSE Celebrated a photographer her of ot Kan ICan Kansas sas SUS City Mo and manufacturer rr of ot tho only flashlight powder that will m remove warts and hair ball hairat hairat at nt tho the same amo time From now on Im I'm going to keep accurate expense re records oros and know mow exactly how much I lose 1088 through u l wasted time lime wh when n taking pictures pictures lelur of ot child toe dancers accompanied by their mother and aunt Im I'm also going to stop selling cl childrens children's pictures pic plc- tures turcs by the tho dozen aa M very few m fam families have that many BETTY GARBO Well known screen enthusiast and champion lady swatter fly of south ern California where whets most malt of the flies flies' go 90 in the winter For the tho coming oming year Im I'm going to produce thirty seven of the biggest pictures ever dreamed of commencing ing with an nn all talking ad adaptation io of the the- Encyclopedia The Th next next will probably be a submarine drama dram CORAL VANITIES in which I shall hall play playa a sponge Yes Yu indeed I will ill tr try try and make makr the coming year yur eclipse all previous years which were really financial 10 louses losses to me as De my income tax returns return will LOUIS LOt LOUIS s n and yeast indorser S dor cr ot of Denver Den Colo I 1 d dont don't nt believe belleve eln In n stopping things tho the first of ot th the y year ar I start thc them This year Im I'm going to start eating In my grapefruit taking my and nd Im I'm going to stana start stan a club for the parents of or ungrateful children wh who lIdo ildo their liquor and hold out on t o old folks olk r t POLLY FOLLY PICKLE Pro Yo To W Week e Tearoom at VI WIs Instead of or getting mad and swearing swea at guests ghosts gUC who spill 1 hoots brats bratson ts I Ion on my table tablecloths lo hs Im I'm going to offset off Ott- set the laundry ex expense enso hereafter tte with paper n napkins By using using- on nn eras eraser r and anda a good grade o of f napkins the they ought to last several n meals meal r. r CLAUDE PUTNAM Artist and nd illustrator of the Rollo Ratio Books Book for people who toss ton in their sleep Hereafter Im I'm going gon to keep my studio neat Im I'm not going to stir wa water e colors colon with the scissors nor throw lighted matches matche in tho the waste watt basket nor knock ashes in tho gold old fish globe MRS dULANE Of Ot Cleveland O. O Private secretary t to whoever l' l happens to be president pr of ot the tho Vaudeville circuit I try to be consistent so ro every overy year car I r stop lop the tJ samo thing I always Rl- Rl b bills Inthe in inthe wa ways stop atop putting putting- s unpaid the iho wron wrong file Two years year t I stopped putting th them m with tho the boW boss personal letters to beauty contest applicants Last ea I stopped flopped putting them in I with tha thes ac actors actor's ors or's orsI I O 0 O U Us This year Im I'm going to throw them all in the tho wastebasket w Mc Syn I Copyright 1 1929 29 cate Inc Ina