Show 1 th thy 4 y kIll V IT The Funniest Men Menon J V on Earth CONVENTION MIt lIt all the scandals going around like it iss isa Mr Weber it might pa pay you to look well to your morals und become a perfect stickler for con con- For Tor why should I stick around the tho conventions I said to be a stickler for con con- Democrat or Republican Not that kind of ot a convention but since you have brought up tip tho the subjects I might ask you who d do dd you regard as likely candidates for fortha forthe forthe the tha president of ot the United States over Veil Vell should the matters be ba left entire to me I should say either Schultz or You are are beyond questions question possessed possessed pos Dos of ot no brains whatever Why Schultz Is la a policeman und keeps a l delicatessen Why should I you efen eten think of them In connection mit such Buch high offices Veil Vell Schultz ho Iss always eatIng eating eat oat ing cheeze und iss SS fond of ot onions und that makes maltes them both strong party men Shut up this instance before Iam I Iam Iam am to kill you mit my bare knuckles In politics you know nothing about the peculiar operations operations opera opera- I I know me about oper oper- My wife she Just had an operation Vy my dear fellowships you ou surprise surprise surprise sur sur- prise me I am Was Vas lit it a seriousness operations Chass the doctor he cuts a bone bona out of ot a goat und puts it into my wife's shoulder blade Indeed Und was it goat No my wife has baa not got my goat Tell nIe more What bone did they take from the goat The wishbone You must mUt be bo mistaken Goats have no wishbones Dont try to foolish mit me mex I IteE Itell Itell tell teE you goats do havo wishbones Und I tell teU you right back that a a- goat positively has bas no wishbone whatever A goat has chust as ns much right to wish as any anybody ody else I UI 1 Insist you are It was probably the goats goat's collarbone You Tou are getting worse und worse A goat po positively does not wear a collar I did not say that a goat wore a collar I simply said they cut the collarbone out of at the goat for the purpose of ot rebuilding reinforcing and restoring your wife's shoulder blade It iss isa marvelous marvelous- Stop This instant cease What right I ask you have you OU got to stand there und tell teU all these thelie people t Ht that h at mr wife wife's If s shoulder blade Js is t Ht that h at mr wife wife's If s shoulder blade Js is my marvelous marvelo s In chust a a- minute Ill I'll knock you you loose from from from- Please I beg your forgiveness I meant nothing out I said the operation operation oper open was marvelous t O 0 dot is different I am certainly that they were able to take the bone from the tho goat and repair your wife's shoulder blade Did It hurt her much V Chass she died V Vat You shock me terribly I Idid Idid Idid did not know that your wife died Not my wife My wife didn't die My wife wile iss las all rl right ht It was the goat that died They cut the bone out of ot the goat and then the tha goat died That was to be expected No they expected it to liv 11 live but it died I feel relieved There iss isa no reason Teason why you should feel teel relieved My wife Iss is the one ope who should feel teel relieved I I 1 am relieved that the operation was I am sure the benefit bene bene- j bene-j fit There ies no flO reason to give elva my I wife a benefit I paid the tha doctor I I have have plenty of ot money money To avoid further embarrassment I will bring bring- you you back to the subjects We were talking about politics Too much money Iss isa being spent on conventiOns conventions con con- and the tha entertainment of ot delegates delE I am ann favoring economy I bellove in cutting expenses to the bone That Iss not changing the subjects subjects subjects sub sub- to go right bade back and taUt talk about cutting to the bone It la is unpleasantness unpleasantness unpleasantness to speak of ot an V operation with such brutal brutal- I 1 am talking about saving money at the convention W ny meals alone will will will- willI I 1 know where you can get a good meal for tor a dime fl f What kind of ot inca meal Oat meal V Vat Oatmeal If It you say lIay oatmeal again I Iwi V I wi will will will- 11 You object seriousness V to me saying oatmeal Chass I objection to you oatmeal V Then what should I said mush What has mush got to did mit a apolitical apolitical political convention 7 Veil YeU right back at you I ask what has a u political convention gotto gotto got gotto to did mit me saying oatmeal if It I wanted to 1 O 0 shut up Politics Iss Isa a g game gamo me for high stakes Yon Veil tenderloin steaks or oat bat oatmeal meal m mush sh chust as you wish It makes no to me What the party needs is a a. spellbInder spell spell- binder r n binder What l lYou You said cald to spell binder und so 80 soI soI I spelt binder We will now sing Wo We Were on the Wrong Platform So the tha Cop Gave Us a Ticket Copyright 1924 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