Show I Tj00L I Jokes iI LOTS DOING I should think that you would be pretty lonesome here said a summer tourist riding on horseback in the backwoods as he took the gourd of water an elderly native of tho soil handed him from n dooryard well WaaJ It haint so lonesome as you might think was the reply Some days thars lots doln round hero Now you take ylstlday This old yaller dog o mine had the liveliest tussle with u polecat right In front o1 tho house bout nine In tho mornln1 an I kin tell you that the momry a that lasted all day The polecat Is layln over thar In tho woods a little piece from here an you kin see him If you want to Then my I wife killed a rattler four feet long with 13 rattles nn a button on right thar bout whar you aro standln an my darter Mag went out to gether black brles an had u scrimmage with a wildcat Como home with her duds lu rags draggln the varmint by tho tall Shes some plucky Mag is Then in the afternoon I layed out a mad dog that came yawpln down the road an there was two teams passed here In one hour to say nothln of two fellers afoot an a stray cow critter An my boy Bob killed a hedgehog an my wife tumbled down cellar Take It by Ian I I an large an thars plenty doln hyar some days even if It dont come quite up to New York whar you say you hall fromJudge BAFFLED 1 Is G 0 140 I t II f l l nc1 no1 nn WIfoy Why doesnt Johnson clean off his walk Hubby He bought a snow shovel and there were no directions with it Marriage a Success SheMy dear I want 50 to do some shopping Helly goodness Why Its only Do you remember that you came home last night In a very shaky condition con-dition Hum Perhaps I did Yes And I didnt say R word did 11 INo No my dear not a word Well you know silence Is golden Heros tho 50 my loveN Y Weekly His Failing What an exasperating old cuss Hewllgus is In the matter of borrowing borrow-ing money Why I thought he was well fixed I didnt suppose he ever had occasion to borrow any Great Scott He doesnt What 1 mean Is that its exasperating to get turned down every time you try to borrow from hlmChlcago Tribune HEARD IN BOSTON L Q y y 1 I l 1 I c ti F1 t Aunt HesterDid oo play kissing games at the party Emerson Hlghhed Well they participated par-ticipated In osculatory pastimes which I consider a rather uninteresting and juvenile diversion Chicago Dally News Historical Data Chicago Teacher In what year did Columbus land C1assNo answer Teacher Come Cant any of you tell Bright HoI dont remember th xact year mum but It was before the fireN Y Weekly Unerring Maternal Instinct They look exactly alike and you dress them exactly alike Mrs High snogglo said the caller How can you tell them apart That Isnt hard to do answered I the mother of the twins U I slap Johnny and ho swears a blue streak I know Its fckChlcl1go Tribune Tactful In that Mrs Nowlyrich tactful I should say uho Is She Invited line and staff officers to a dinner and conducted tho affair without an argument I argu-ment arising Detroit Free Press She Didnt Notice Mr MannDid you see that woman just as we crossed over Mrs MannYou mean tho woman In the camels hair gown and heavy liba ver Jacket with bronze shoes a hut trimmed with fuchsias and heliotrope with pink ribbons and a chiffon veil No I didnt notice her particularly What were you going to say about her t SIMILARITY 5 l ala al-a s The new bookkeeper is a regular encyclopedia Smart then 7 No very thick Philadelphia Press Journalism In Some Cities Benevolent IndIvidualYou say you are a reporter by profession Then why dont you work for a living Penniless Petitioner did work I was a reporter on tho Dally Bugle but I couldnt get my money and tho Bugle was absorbed by the Dally Trumpet and before I could present my claim to the Trumpet that paper was absorbed by tho Dally Tooter and then the Tooter was absorbed by the Dally Hustler and so it went on while I was chasing around after them and finally the last one was absorbed ab-sorbed by the Dally Graball a rich concern and I had great hopes but when I went to the editor of tho Graball with my claim he told me ho had never heard of the DugleN Y Weekly LAYING THE BLAME L J JSEOl1 < L tT < s L VI feyAt New Year you were ready enough to swear off what I asked you but you havent kept I your promise HubbyThats your fault my dear Why didnt you furnish me resolutions that were warranted not to break Waste of Energy The prize ben resolved to quit laying lay-Ing It seems so utterly absurd she clucked for a 500 fowl to spend her time and strength in turning out eggs at 3G cents a dozen Perching herself on her exclusive roost she oyed the common barnyard hens oelow her with lofty disdain Chicago Tribune Foolish Manl Mrs Hoyle How did your husband come to smoko himself to death Mrs Doyle Ho did It all one Saturday Sat-urday Ho had accepted an Invitation to spend Sunday at a place where they didnt allow smoking Judge GOT HIM THAT TIME i > Shoeblack Polish your boots sir Toff Hang you boy no Shoeblack Polish up your manners then sir Disappointing When a man has worked hard all evening to win a pedro prize It Is somewhat disappointing to him to find that ho has wasted him energy earnIng earn-ing a book ho has alroufly read Detroit De-troit Free Press |